Title: Five Odd Jobs on the Destiny
Author: Shenandoah Risu
Rating: G
Content Flags: stuff you didn't want to know about
Spoilers: Season 1 "Time" and "Justice"
Characters: Lisa Park, Destiny, Tamara Johansen, Cpl. Barnes, Everett Young, Darren Becker, Ronald Greer, Camile Wray, Vanessa James, a few squids, Drs Inman and Fisher, Airman Dunning, Adam Brody, the Apple Core Potty
Word Count: 842
Summary: It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it.
Author's Notes: Written for a prompt at an LJ Comm
Disclaimer: I don't own SGU. I wouldn't know what to do with it. Now, Young... Young I'd know what to do with. ;-)
Thanks for reading! Feedback = Love. ;-)


Five Odd Jobs on the Destiny

"Well, that's it. I'm done. I'm going to bed," Lisa announces to no one in particular, as she's been working on the Bridge by herself for several hours already. She reaches for the switch to turn off her console – and a giant bright red set of lips appears on her screen. Lisa blushes furiously and quickly checks the room to make sure she's alone. Breathing a sigh of relief she recalls the day when she finally solved the problem of the blinking green light (it was Destiny's way of saying "Good job!"), and she had been so thrilled that she had placed a big wet kiss right onto her console. Apparently Destiny had approved and now demanded a good night kiss at the end of every shift. Lisa smiles and closes her eyes, slowly approaching the screen and planting another hot one right on the main dial. The console promptly shuts down with a quiet, satisfied "ping".


TJ is about to hand over her watch in the infirmary to Corporal Barnes when she catches sight of Young wandering into the room. She gives him a quick nod and smile, and as she briefs Barnes on the current patients' conditions she knows Young is walking from bed to bed, chatting with those who are awake and able to speak, quietly holding the hands of those who are asleep or too sick, even if just for a moment, and then picking up the non-recyclable trash on his way out. She's not even sure when he had started taking on this odd job at the end of her shift, but she understands perfectly well that it's just another one of his small gestures to stay involved in her life and her job, and she appreciates it on a level he will never even know.


"Yo, Darren, 'ssup?" Becker looks up as Greer enters the galley. "Trouble with the cooling unit again?"

"Yeah… coils in the back, I think."

Greer spits in his hands and together they heave and shove at the giant refrigerator until it moves just enough for Becker to stick his long-handle brush behind the unit and dust the coils.

"I used to hate doing that… at granny's house…" Becker huffs with effort. "I can't believe I have to do it in outer space, too!"

"Yeah, well," Greer drawls and starts snapping his fingers. "It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it..."

"Woh-oo-oh-oh-oh," Becker chimes in.

As always, they crack up over the TV show theme song, and as they muscle the fridge back into place, Greer chuckles. "Mike Rowe could do a whole entire season on this ship."

"Preach it, brother," Becker nods. "Thanks, man."

They high-five each other and go back to their daily grind.


"Oh man, I really really really hate those things," Camile shudders as she approaches the glass case in which they keep the jungle planet squids.

Vanessa, who's on cage cleaning duty with her, shrugs.

"Neither of us would be here if it weren't for those little buggers."

"I know," Camile sighs, and together they slide out the bottom tray. They gag for a moment as the stench hits them, and then they frantically scrape off the purplish guano into a bucket. With the help of Dr. Inman's banana-scented all purpose cleaner the tray is soon sparkling clean and they slide it back into place.

"How can something that's been weaned to eat only purple sweet potatoes stink so badly?" Camile frowns.

"Must be the poison they produce," Vanessa muses. "Let's go. Dr. Fisher is waiting for this load in hydroponics."

Clamping their noses shut with one hand they hoist up the bucket with the other and carry it down to the dome. The hallways reek for hours afterwards, but the stuff sure works wonders on plants.


Airman Dunning stares at the Apple Core toilet with abject hatred. Somehow he's become the plumber on the ship (he curses the day when he told everyone that his dad had had a plumbing business, and that he himself had been fixing faucets since kindergarten). Truthfully, Dunning enjoys the intricacies of plumbing, and the disproportionate gratitude people shower him with when he fixes something. But he swears that this particular potty has developed an evil grin and clogs automatically when he so much as passes by a hallway away.

Brody claps him on the shoulder as he squints at the meanest throne of them all. "It probably loves you," he suggests. "So it's being troublesome, just so it can experience your delicate expert touch."

"Oh, shut up," Dunning mutters and gets to work.

As soon as Brody leaves Dunning grabs the water supply line and shakes it fiercely. "Now you listen to me, you dumb crapper, you do this one more time and I will shut you down for good, you hear me?"

The toilet flushes immediately.

"Good. Just so we understand each other."

Dunning packs up his tools, gives the toilet one more withering glance and moves on to the next job.



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