Bella's Point of View
Please, let it not be the last time I ever see him again. Please let this ending not be so. Please keep my heart from breaking into more pieces. The broken glass of each "I love you" have stained my hands red as I try to put the pieces back together.
Life truly was easy; and at most times… very worth living, but in this case I couldn't think of one reason to continue floating around, already dead to the world. Already lost in my bitter sorrows of heart-break, I ask of you…why did you have to leave.
Why couldn't I have been enough? To keep you here with me…to at least see you're face…your smile, pointed at me.
But it wouldn't be a real smile, would it?
Of course not, it had all been a lie… an act… pity towards a soft fragile human like me.
Undeserving, and not needed.
I had grown close to these words, and I have accepted their meanings. But still, I lay awake, tears in my eyes, and pain in my heart, that I know will never go away.
Not with time, not with patience, not with anything, but seeing your face again.
Charlie was worried about it, I knew that… and I really tried to care, I made an effort to move on, but the more I tried, the more the pain became unbearable.
I couldn't think. I couldn't eat. I couldn't move. I couldn't feel anything but everything I thought hell would feel like.
And most of all… emptiness.
Today however I did feel something different, a new emotion was bubbling through the burning acids eating away at my soul. It wasn't an emotion really… it was more like… a burst of inspiration, and a burst of energy that actually put me to my feet.
I had somewhere I wanted to go.
There was a place, calling to me, offering me an escape from this torture, and I was no fool.
I had to go for it…
I didn't know where I was going… but any place had to be better then sitting right in the middle of hell.
My feet made lifeless thuds as I walked down the wooden stairs, making my way out through the living room where Charlie was sitting on the couch, his face in his hands.
I paused behind the couch, struggling to find my voice to speak, but again, the wave of energy pushed at my will, shaking a bit off the pain off as I found a reason to want to go.
At my voice Charlie quickly turned, looking beyond surprised, and he was on his feet and in front of me in seconds, his hands gripping my shoulders as he looked at me with concern.
This had been the first I have spoken in months, so I guess… this might have either worried him further, or relieved him a great deal.
"Yes Bella, are you ok, is there anything I can get you?"
He spoke in a fast tone, that I almost struggled to keep up with, but luckily, the energy still dancing in side of me pushed words out of my mouth.
"I'm fine; I just want to take a ride to La Push,"
So I wanted to go to La Push?
That's were I'm being pushed to go to?
"To see Jacob?"
I managed to catch the note of hope in Charlie's voice as he spoke, finally letting my shoulders go.
"Yeah, I was thinking maybe… I'd feel better, if I was around an actual friend,"
Charlie nodded eagerly, and was already leading me towards the door, and out to his police cruiser.
"That sounds nice Bells, I was planning on taking you down there any way, Harry had invited us to a party down at his house, celebrating one of his kids birthday's, everyone will be there…I just was afraid it would upset you if I asked,"
This was unlike Charlie. Him talking so much, he was almost babbling. I didn't mind it. It just was a big change that I wasn't expecting.
Or maybe it was due to the fact that he hasn't really been able to speak to me for months, and actually have me respond.
"I don't think anything could make me feel worse then I already do," I muttered, and looked out the window of the cruiser.
Charlie sighed, and nodded as he got into the driver's seat, and started up the engine.
"I really hope you're going to be alright Bella, these past few months… have been hard on the both of us believe it or not,"
I glanced over at Charlie, guilt hitting me in the guilt as I took note of the dark circles under his eyes, and how Charlie's clothes seemed to bunch up and hang hugely on him, as if he has lost a lot of weight.
I swallowed roughly, this fact helping me a lot to come into terms that I had to straighten up… for Charlie's sake…I had to try harder… no… I had to do this. I had to wake up, and return to my life.
"I'm sorry dad,"
Charlie for the first time, in a long time gave me a small smile.
"It's ok Bells, I'm just glad it seems you're getting better,"
My heart pinched at that, but for once… not in pain or agony, but the one emotion I thought I would never feel again.
The love between a father and a daughter, it would be enough to hold me up, but I still needed a drive to keep me going.
Hopefully at this party I would find that drive.
That person that would rescues me from this pain, and scare off all my bad dreams at night… I needed my hero.
So who do you think I did? Love it? Hate it? Make you cry? I hope not. Thank you all for reading! I will update this story once I get at least six reviews! Have a good day/ and or Night.