This is the result of me free-writing for an Ethics paper.

I like stars.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the series. I do own imported copies of all the GBA games. Fun stuff.


Somewhere over the ocean, and possibly a rainbow or something, is a whole metric shitfuckton of clouds known as Pufftop, which honestly sounds more like the name of a marshmallow brand than a magical floating kingdom.

Naturally, being a kingdom of puffy clouds, the inhabitants would be masters of both flight and green wind-turbine energy, right? Wrong. The population of Pufftop is made up of starfish. Because fuck you.

Although if you were to go to the Grand Creators of the Universe, they'd tell you that the starfish of Pufftop are not starfish. Or stars for that matter.

Then what are they? The Grand Creators of the Universe are full of shit. They're goddamn starfish. Deal with it.

So, we have some fucking starfish peeps screwing around in the atmosphere, and it's ruled by a Papa Star, and there's a Mama Star, and some fucktarded starfish prince dude named Starfy is there too. It was Stafy for awhile, but then Starfy got tired of everyone calling him Staph-Infection-Stafy, and changed his name. Because he's a fucking prince and can do whatever he damn well pleases.

Oh yeah, and some clam named Moe because, shit, I don't know. I guess they wanted to avoid looking racist to shellfish or something. if starfish can live in Cloudtopia Supreme, I guess clams can too.

Of course neither starfish nor clams can actually fly or sustain themselves in an environment mostly made of ozone and water vapor, but that's beside the fucking point.

The point is that there's a place named after a bag of marshmallows somewhere floating in the sky, and it's full of goddamn starfish. And some of them wear bright pink spandex and run around with pointy sticks. So basically a gay-bar for five-legged Asteroidea. And clams, because clams.

Other starfish with more than five legs are banned from entering Pufftop. Mostly because while six is afraid of seven, who eight nine, all of them are fucking jerkwads. And not homosexual, which is kind of an important requirement for participating in the festivities of a gay-bar in the clouds. Or any gay-bar anywhere for that matter.

Oh right, Starfy has a sister, but she's a woman, and nobody cares. Mama Star at least gets a small mention because she's secretly a man.

And Papa Star wouldn't have it any other way.