Come back again. One day. Please. Prove me wrong again.
"...you can play back this message, then you'll look all pompous and say 'Well, what if I don't want you to travel with me anymore, Lucie Miller?'"
Is a voice that breaks his hearts. First one, and then the other. The brief moments between words, that pauses at the end of her sentences, are enough time for him to imagine that she might actually be speaking. Enough time for his hearts to repair themselves, only to be broken again. It's enough time for him to believe that the last few days never happened, that what he's hearing isn't simply a recording. He closes his eyes, and in the second before she answers her own question, he can believe that this recording isn't all he has left of his best friend. His Lucie.
"And then I'll give you a kick in the shins and you'll say 'Ow, that hurt'."
He feels a phantom pain, somewhere between his knee and his ankle on his left side. Almost as if Lucie Miller had indeed kicked him in the shins, a few moments ago. Losing Romana, losing Jamie and Zoe, losing Orbis... none of it compares the gaping wound Lucie's voice is causing.
"And I'll say 'I'll take that as a yes then, shall I?' Yeah. Maybe that's how it will go."
Yes. He doesn't need to say it. Yes, Lucie Miller, of course you can travel with me. Of course you can. You can travel with me forever, Lucie Miller, and we can see all the stars in the sky and visit all the worlds in the cosmos. All of history will belong to you and me, Lucie Miller. I promise.
"That's what I'd like."
That's what I'd like too, Lucie Miller.
"That's what I'd really like."
The TARDIS is quiet and empty without her. He looks up at the cobweb-strewn shadows of the high, vaulted control room ceilings. Lucie Miller, who brought such life into his gloomy, gothic home. After what had happened to Samson and Gemma, after losing C'rizz, after losing Charley, he never thought he would find solace in the company of another, let alone a young lass with a brash northern accent. She had seemed to take pleasure in simply running amok. Time and space? What's that compared to a winter's night clubbing in Blackpool? Daleks, Zygons, Cybermen, Ice Warriors, Headhunters? Nothing Lucie Miller couldn't handle.
And now... now she was gone. Lucie Miller: dead. Tamsin Drew: dead. Like Samson and Gemma, like C'rizz. Like Charley, for all he knew. A long time ago, the deaths were few and far between. Katarina and Sara, and then Adric. Now they're all dying. All the time.
He kills them.
He plays the recording back.
"You'll look all pompous and say..."
"Well, what if I don't want you to travel with me anymore, Lucie Miller?"
"And then I'll give you a kick in the shins and you'll say..."
"Ow, that hurt."
One day... one day he'll go back.