Before Life Happened

It's weird thinking about how things were before. You know. Before life happened. Before the kids came into my life, before they were mine. Before Joe became our nanny. Before we all made a life together.

I can barely remember how it was. And that's not just because I spent a lot of my time back then getting drunk enough to erase my memory. Okay. Well, maybe that's a part of it. A small part, though. Honest. I mean, I still drink wine every day. Alcohol isn't a stranger now.

I just... it's just that things have changed.

I have kids now. I have a … co-parent. I have responsibilities to other people, not just to myself and my work. I have it all.

And somehow, I'm still single. I have everything - kids, house and job - but not a man. I've always thought it was meant to go the other way around. Meet a guy first, buy a home, have kids, maybe get a dog. That's the logical order. It was the house first for me, then the kids and Joe.

When comes the man?

I have to wonder. I mean, I've dated plenty of guys, and there have been a few I thought for a moment could be The One. But then, something happened or they showed their true selves, and that dream was swept away as fast as they swept in.

Where does someone like me find someone like... I don't know... Joe, I guess. Only not Joe, because he's... well, Joe. That would be weird, me and Joe. Ha. Like that'll ever happen. I'm sure he's against a relationship with me as much as I am against one with him.

Though, now that I think about it, I suppose it wouldn't be completely awful. He's a great cook and great around the house... usually. And he's not bad looking - though I'd never tell him that. He has nice eyes...

No. No, bad line of thought.

Joe and me? Not happening. But there'll be some other guy, at some point. I guess I have a few more frogs to kiss before I find my prince.

And then maybe we'll get that dog.