Originally posted Dec. 2009. Rewritten as of Sept. 2012.

This was originally written to the song Thinking of You by Katy Perry, but was newly written under Sour Candy by Carly Rae Jepsen. Check out the songs, they're pretty good.

Rated M for foul language, minor sexual references, and alcohol.


The bar is full of smoke scent, loud voices, and good-natured brawls involving blunted kunai. Drunk shinobi are certainly interesting, albeit not altogether safe. Sakura sighs and turns back to her companion and his goofy, blushing face. "Come on, S'kura, have a drink!" he yells, passing her a little glass full of amber. She narrows her eyes at him, at the drink, before shrugging and downing it in one gulp. This is her fifth.

Naruto grins and nods like he's proud of himself before calling out to a group of shinobi entering the doors. "Drinks on me!"

'And you're supposed to be Hokage…'muses Sakura, smiling despite her disapproval. She can feel the burn of alcohol in her throat and through her stomach, and knows she has a low tolerance for anything slightly mind-altering. 'Ah well, it's the anniversary...'She downs three more glasses as the bar fills and time passes.

A man with black hair passes by her seat and she finds herself swinging around wildly, her mind conjuring up ghosts, before realizing it's only Sai following after Ino, his face confused and curious.

'Sasuke...the best rookie of our generation, best looking, too...'she thinks, holding her head in her palm as she looks towards Naruto again, his face all lit up as he tries to make an alcohol-creating jutsu (and fails), surrounded by several different people all drunk off their asses. 'At least, when we were kids he was. They're so different...'

Naruto's hair is long and windswept, his blue eyes bright and hazy. His body is bulky and strong, covered in sun-kissed skin from supposed village meetings with his fellow kage, Gaara. 'No doubt in my mind, they just wanted to hang out and fight. Boys and their rivals.'She rolls her eyes, slumps against the counter, and watches him through drunken eyes. A few more drinks and she's pondering their differences.

Naruto is so opposite of the pale, raven look of Sasuke. His light eyes a heavy contrast to the Uchiha's hereditary black gaze. Where Sasuke had been calm and collected, ready to mindfuck anyone he wanted to, Naruto is loud and spontaneous, more likely to force a hug on someone than to bicker with them. Sakura feels like she should be able to love a guy like him, but whenever her heart picks up pace, it's when she thinks about a man long dead.'I can't forget him...'

She finds herself crying.

"Time to go home, S'kura-chan," whispers Naruto, suddenly behind her and lifting her off the stool. His heavy hands swipe at the tears across her cheeks and he smiles, all cheeks and white, crooked, teeth. "You're such a lightweight."

"Shut up, idiot," she mumbles against his shoulder, curling into his chest like a little girl afraid of falling. Tears trickle down her face and she is embarrassed as he carries her out of the bar and into the rainy streets of Konoha.

Naruto walks gracefully for someone under the influence of too many beers and she weaves in and out of unconsciousness as he takes her home. He opens the door of her apartment and squeezes the two of them in the little space without bumping heads or limbs against the frame. The walk to her bedroom is a quick one, the hall short and narrow, and he lays her on her bed and covers her with the frail, blossom-covered quilt her mother had passed on to her when she died. When he turns to leave, she finds herself reaching out to grasp his jacket.

"Naru..." she whispers, voice wavering. "Don't...go..."

She feels lost and helpless, overcome with memories of bloody smiles and the old days, and doesn't want to be alone. Not tonight.

Naruto turns back, hesitance written on his face. She knows he loves her. She knows. And she feels like she's lying to him when she sits up and pulls his face to hers. His lips are warm against hers, his breath an unpleasant mix of alcohol and ramen, with the hidden flavor of sour candy, and he gasps into her mouth as he stumbles and falls across her on the bed. He looks down at her with the hopeful expression of someone who feels like they've found love at last, and it almost hurts. Almost.

She pulls at his shirt, yanking it from his body, and pulls him down to her. His hands slip and slide against the soft material of her tunic and then rest in a crude and innocent way against her ass, pressing her against him. "We're drunk..." he breathes against her neck. "This isn't okay.."

"Shhh," she says, capturing his mouth with hers and biting down hard against his lip. He responds with a grunt and a moan, and jerks his hips against hers. They kiss hungrily, mouthing at each other's necks, and moving together until their clothes are discarded on the floor and their bodies are intertwined so tightly, they can't tell where one begins and the other ends.

Sakura finds herself believing blue eyes are black and the body over hers is slimmer and paler. She feels guilty for it, but the thoughts are there anyways. "Naruto..." she sighs, as he pulls away and then embraces her, nuzzling his face into her pink hair. "I'm using you."

Pulling away, she looks into his eyes. They are serious and hazy and he shakes his head once to the side. "You only think you are," he says quietly, looking at the wall with shuttered eyes.

"You're an idiot."

"I know." And his voice is gentle and softer than normal, and she finds it hard to meet his eyes. The pounding of her heart is sharp against her chest and tears prick at her eyes.

Naruto sits up and runs his hands through his hair. He pulls on his pants and his shirt, shouldering his jacket, and leaves. The soft thud of her door shutting makes her catch her breath and then she is sobbing.

All she can think about is smiles and laughter, screams and war, the soft 'spluch' as she tugs her kunai free from the man she loves. She sees children running after monsters, a teacher too absorbed in creating a genius, Sasuke dying and spitting blood at her face as he curses Konoha. Blue eyes crying, blue eyes smiling, blue eyes hurting.

She feels guilty.

"Come back..." she pleads into the empty apartment. "I'm sorry..."

The doorway remains empty.


Review? Please be kind!

Not sure if I want to leave it here, or continue it on. I'll add the 'completed' label later when I decided.