This is my first attempt at a songfic I was listening to Rebecca Ferguson's album today and I noticed two songs that really realted to Sandra in my opionin Shoulder to Shoulder and Teach Me How to me Loved.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own New Tricks or these wonderful songs
Cos I feel safe when you're near me and I can hold you completely
Though you constantly hurt me
And we fight and we cry
And we tell the same lies about Love
And we cling to each other shoulder to shoulder against the world.
Sandra wiped away the tears that were flowing from face with her left hand as she aggressively turned right with her free hand. It was pitch black and she appeared to be the only other driver on the road.
The more her heart raced from the adrenaline of her fight with Peter the faster she drove. The more she thought about how much the married man with 2.5 children had promised her the world and not delivered made her swerve out on the other side of the road.
It wasn't that she didn't love him, they had rowed about that how Sandra had not told him once she loved him but didn't mind the fact he claimed he would give everything up for her it was the fact that this disastrous relationship cycle had been all she knew, she never knew how to show love or how to be loved.
That annoyed Peter the fact he openly showed his alleged love for her and when he asked her if she loved him back she would just nod. Both of them knowing that this wasn't necessary true.
So I'm gonna drag you down
Whilst you drag me down
And I'm gonna shout at you
Whilst you shout at me until we realise that real love is free, free
It was always the same with the men Sandra dated there was nothing solid there, they would make love in the middle of Lunch when they were out of the office and when there was no danger of being caught by his wife or worse his kids. Then they would fight about how their relationship was just sex and nothing more. Sandra always accused them of using her but when she fought with Peter about it he shouted back that she used him as she didn't know how to love. He was right, this wasn't love it never was with Sandra.
Back home Sandra snatched a bottle of dry white wine out of the fridge poured it into a glass so it was almost over flowing and thought back to what Peter had said, there was no way she could love somebody if she didn't know how to be loved herself. She noticed throughout her life whenever a guy would give her a romantic gesture of some kind she never knew how to take it, she always suspected they were after something and never that they just cared.
As a child she adored her father and had fond feelings towards her mother, even more so when her dad was alive but she never knew if it was love she felt towards her parents. Maybe that's where she needed to start; she needed to learn how to be loved.
The fallen empires, The shattered glass
The wicked echos of my past.
I've seen it all before, that's why I'm asking.
Will you still be here tomorrow or will you leave in the dead of the night?
So your waves don't crash around me, I'm staying one step ahead of the tide.
Will you leave me lost in my shadows or will you pull me into your light?
Teach me how to be loved
Teach me how to be loved.
Hope it was okay feel free to review, love Gee :) xx