A Knightly Affair

A Sir Cadogan/Fat Lady Romantic Interlude

by Dethryl

Sir Cadogan checked the polish of his armour one final time. The brilliant silver gleam was illuminating in the midnight darkness. Roses in hand, he floated through the landscapes, then the townscapes, then another landscape, before arriving at the door to her sitting room.

Gertrude von Hassenbach enjoyed being a guardian to the Gryffindor Tower common room. Excepting the time when that vicious, murdering Death Eater by the name of Sirius Black had assaulted her canvas, it was generally a very peaceful job. Her friends regularly came over for tea, there was always gossip about who was carrying on with whom, and there were plenty of handsome men always coming and going through the paintings. Yes, her life as a painting was satisfying.

There was a knock on her sitting room door. Heavy, manly, authoritative. Who on earth could it be?

"Enter," she called.

The door sprang open and a handsome knight fell to his knees with a resounding crash. In one hand he offered up a bouquet of pink roses. His other hand he clasped over his heart. His head bowed lowed as he averted his eyes.

"My Lady, I can bear it no longer. I have watched thee from afar these many years. When thou wert so fouly and viciously attacked, mine heart did weep tears of silver blood, for that ungodly miscreant had wounded me, also, quite to the quick. Eager to avenge myself upon the rancid beast and to defend thine honor and thy person, I didst volunteer straight away to take up thine duties and maintain rigid sentinel over this here, thy domain.

"These things I did despite my desire to comfort thee, to console thee, to stand my post at thy side. It were onerous in the extreme to me, being away from thee, for I would have walked across a burning lake of fire to stand at thy side, to kneel at thy feet.

"I love thee, Lady Gertrude, and I would rather be cast into the great abyss than to be ordered from your presence forevermore. I love thee, Lady Gertrude, and a thousand burning suns burn not as hot as mine love for thee.

He lifted his head up as he gazed deep into her warm, chocolate eyes. The hand that was clasped to his heart he now extended towards her, reaching for her.

"Thy beauty would inspire the Muses, thy radiance would shame the sun, thy compassion be the marvel of the known world. I love thee, Lady Gertrude, and I must have thee as mine own."

His speech finished, he stared up at her in absolute adoration. Her breath had been caught in her chest since he had crashed to his knees. That stern face, those boyish blue eyes, the wavy hair that made her fingers itch, the love that shone in his entire being.

"Oh, my noble Sir Cadogan," she sighed, emotion overtaking her. "Rest easy thy heart and plot not to hurl thyself into the great abyss, for I wouldst have thou know that I truly love thee in return. Mine heart would break and endless weep if thou wert to leave me. Rather stay, and instead love me."

Weeping silver tears of joy, she hurled herself into his strong arms. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she captured his lips with her own, a single, long, but entirely chaste kiss, for she was a lady.

Together they held each other for many hours, not knowing that a short distance away, the Gryffindors in the Tower were listening, gagging, and sighing wistfully.

"It's sweet," sighed Ginny.

"It's disturbing," gagged Harry.

"They can't have love just because they're paintings?" demanded Hermione, pushing the issue to extremes.

"Harry, just nod and agree with her, otherwise she'll start up APPRL, the Association for the Protection of Paintings' Romantic Lives."

Hermione shouted in outrage and would have stormed out of the Tower, but the painting refused to open. It appeared that Sir Cadogan had whisked Lady Gertrude off to someplace more private, for more wooing.

"It's so sweet," she sighed, before she went back to studying.

However, those students who were locked out of the Tower for the next five hours did not find it sweet at all.