A/N: I needed to write angst. And this happened.
I SHOULD PROBABLY WARN ABOUT SUICIDE AND MAIN CHARACTER DEATH
Loki let out a growl of frustration as he pushed his foot down on the accelerator, pushing his car to it's very limits as the engine revved. He was a God, he shouldn't have to be driving around in Midgardian vehicles, but this was where he was sent.
Banished from Asgard with his powers stripped of him until he was worthy to retrieve them, much like what happened with Thor, he had fallen. He had landed in the same place he landed the first time he fell, landed in the same patch of grass just near Rose Tylers house. She wasn't there, she didn't come rushing out.
He thought she was angry at him, and she had every right to. Or maybe she had found the Doctor and went travelling again and he was nothing more than another face in her mind when she slept.
Loki knocked on the door, four quick knocks
"If you're here to see Rose, she's at the Hospital, Room 135" said an unfamiliar boyish voice, and Loki turned on his heel and ran back to his car.
Now here he was, hands clenched tight on the steering wheel, his knuckles whiter then his usually pale skin and adrenaline coursed through his veins as he pulled into the hospital and ran inside.
"I'm here to see Rose Tyler, Room 135" he said quickly to the timid looking girl behind the desk, who nodded and escorted him to the room
Rose was awake, barely. She had tubes everywhere, but she still looked roughly the same. She let out a weak cough and Loki stepped into her line of vision.
"I- I always knew you would come back" she said hoarsely, her throat was dry and sore.
"I wasn't expecting to, I was banished, my powers were stripped from me, but it's a long story and I don't think you have the time to listen to it all" Loki said sadly as he sat on the chair next to her bed.
"I know what you did Loki, but it doesn't make a difference. You still came back" Rose coughed.
They sat there in an uneasy silence, the beeping of the machines the only sound in the room.
"What happened to you?" Loki whispered, not sure if he wanted to know the answer
Rose coughed a few more times "When I found the Doctor, he accidentally made a copy of himself, but he was human, but still the same man" Rose coughed "When he sent the copy and I back to this dimension, he gave us a bit of the TARDIS, so we could grow our own. We did just that"
"But why are you in here?" Loki question, as he held Rose's hand.
"We went to a planet, that had a deadly virus going around. We thought, that because we were of a different race we would be immune. But we weren't. There's no cure here, or anywhere else. He passed away just a few days ago, and any of these breaths could be my last"
Loki shook his head "Just hang on Rose. I'll contact Thor, I'm sure they have a cure in Asgard. I just need you to hold on, stay alive and don't close your eyes" he whispered frantically
Rose blinked once "It's a nice thought, but I don't-"
A continuous beep echoed throughout the room as nurses walked in with solemn looks on their faces.
"She's gone" the nurses told Loki as he sat there staring into nothing. He stared at the blank white wall with the slight blue tinge, or he stared out the window at the scene outside that was now rainy. Was it rainy before? He can't remember. He stares blankly at everything in the room.
At everything except for the too still body on the bed with the people bustling around, because he just can't bear to look at her. He can't bear to look at the girl that he could've saved by just being a few days earlier, he can't bear to look at the girl he never told he loved.
Just a short week later, but it feels like an eternity for Loki, and that's what it will be. An eternity on Earth without the only person worth knowing on here. His unwilling feet drag him out of his bed, and he drives.
He just drives and drives, not heading anywhere, he wonders if he could just die. For a moment, he completely considers just driving into another car, just end it all. But he just can't right now. He has one more agenda to complete before then, so he revs the engine and makes a sharp U-turn at the first possible chance and heads to the cemetery.
As soon as the cemetery comes into view he can see them, just a small group of people standing around a fresh grave. For someone so lively and well-known it saddens him to know that only a few people are there to mourn her, to remember the memory of that space travelling girl.
So he waits in the background, just waiting for the small gathering to leave so he can say his final goodbyes, and his final words. She is worth it, she is so worth it.
Once the group moves back away to head off to their own separate places, he steps out of the shadows. In a suit of black and dark green, his head bent down.
"Well, I guess this is it." Loki says and he just hopes for a reply, but all that's there is the soft blow of wind, softly rustling his hair.
He coughs and swallows "I already told you, I was banished here, and now I'm wondering if they knew all along about my relationship or friendship or whatever the hell it was with you, I wonder if they knew that you were dying and they still sent me here"
He took a deep breath and wasn't aware of the tears rolling down his cheek until they hit the ground and he laughed a sad laugh "Even now, in death, you're the only Midgardian who has ever made me cry"
He couldn't take it. His knees buckled and he fell to the soft ground. He was a God and he shouldn't be sitting on the ground crying, but he was, because damn his title as a God this was Rose Tyler and she was worth every tear spilt from the emerald green eyes.
A few minutes later he stood up and started to walk away, before he spotted the gravestone next to Rose's, it read "John Smith – The Doctor"
Loki stared at it "Why, why couldn't you have done a better job at looking after her!" he cried out in anguish and he is gasping for air in between painfully loud sobs.
He gets back in the car and drives.
He follows the signs to the last place he will ever go, and he gets there.
A sheer cliff, with jagged rocks and a mighty swell underneath. He remembers going here with Rose one time, back before all this happened and when everything seemed to be happier.
"They call this the Point of No Return" Rose had said and Loki had raised an eyebrow in curiosity.
"Because people come here if they don't want to live, and they jump off. No-one has survived that fall and no-one ever will." She had replied as she grabbed Loki's hand and started to pull him away from the edge, as though she was scared he was going to jump.
But he wasn't going to jump then, he had never even considered it. Now, now everything was different. He was banished and alone, so terribly, terribly alone. Like he always had been
He took one last look at the world, that now seemed dark and grey before he stepped off the edge.
And he welcomed the fall, he welcomed the rush of air that flew past him as he gained speed in his descent. It was a lot higher than it had looked.
About half way down he felt a tingling in his fingertips. He laughed aloud as he slammed into the icy water.
"Not long now" he thought as his body was pummeled by waves and his head occasionally bobbed above the surface.
Yet the tingling continued. He laughed again and it was a maniacal laugh. Apparently, now of all times, he was worthy of his powers again.
"Let me be. Let me end this now. Don't come back" his mind willed his magic that bounced around his body, an ethereal green.
Then his head smacked against the rocks and the water turned red.