"How can you hate Sound of Music?"

"You plebeian, Sound of Music sucks compared to the glory of the Muppets."

"Muppets, out of all of the recent musicals, you had to choose the Muppets."

"Fuck you. The Muppets are timeless. Especially compared to your stupid Nazi songs."

"I-Wh-No. Just no. You did not just go there."
"What if I did?"
"I will rip you apart."
"You have to catch me first, asshole."

"You're going to take back everything you said about Sound of Music. It's a classic."

"Avenue Q could whoop its ass up and down every single award show."
"Don't make me start singing 'The Hills Are Alive'. I will."
"Fine, and I'll belt out 'Schadenfreude.' All's fair in love and war, bro."

"That's it. Teddy, we're having an old musicals marathon to teach Tommy what he's missing."
"Fuck that. We're going to watch the new stuff. The good stuff. Not the nerdy shit."

"Tommy, Billy, I love you both in different ways, but I'm not sitting through either of those marathons."

"Oh, that's right, Altman likes the horror movies."

"He doesn't understand the beauty of the musicals."

"But wait, Kaplan, what's this movie I just found. It's a new musical, that's also horror. See? Sweeny Fucking Todd. BOOM. I win. Isn't that right, Altman?"

"Um, actually-"

"Fuck you Tommy, everyone knows the Broadway version is so much better. You just go watch your Jersey Boys musical while Teddy and I watch Oklahoma."

"You want to say that to my face, Kaplan?"

"Tommy, Billy, calm down."

"Fuck you, Altman. Did you not hear what he said?!"

"Yes, but you're both getting way too worked up about this."

"Teddy, he dissed the Sound of Music. And South Pacific."

"Look. I. Don't. Care. If you two keep this up I'm going to start a Saw marathon."

"You wouldn't."

"Teddy, no."

"Yes, I would. Now shut up and pick something out without getting into a huge argument over it. Or you're either going to have to deal with Saw or The Little Mermaid."

"HA! Altman totally likes the new musicals."

"Fuck you, Disney doesn't count."

"That's it. Saw time."