A/N: THIS IS A JOKE. I REPEAT, THIS IS A JOKE.
Bear Hunter Akihiko walked into Chinese Diner Aiya, home of the best beef bowls in Inaba. He was hankering for a meal. A meal filled with meat. Drool dribbled down his lips as he thought of the delicious beef that would soon be awaiting him and his shirtless, scarred, caped self. When he stepped into the diner, all eyes turned upon him. His good looks often turned heads, including Mitsuru's. But he could not gaze upon her furcoated, catsuit wearing body. She was not the one for him.
"One Mega Beef Bowl," Akihiko ordered. While he waited for the beef bowl to arrive, he looked around at the other patrons. And then, he spotted him. Blue chrome paint across his body, windows down his side, jet engines hanging from his wings. A man's face graced the front of the jet plane, taking up the space where the cockpit would be on a normal plane. He dexterously used his wings to handle the chopsticks, slurping up pieces of meat and noodle.
The jet plane suddenly turned his head to face Akihiko. "Yo," he said. "You come here often?"
"All the time!" Akihiko said. "Can't say I've ever seen you in here, though. My name's Akihiko Sanada. I'm a boner— er, I mean, boxer." He hurriedly closed his legs, hoping that the plane had not seen his growing erection.
"I'm Jay-Jay," the plane answered. "Jay-Jay the Jet Plane. I'm new in Inaba." A bowl was placed in front of Akihiko, and the barechested man hurriedly began to slurp at the beef within. "You sure do like… meat, don't you?"
Akihiko heard Jay-Jay's chair scoot closer, and he continued to stare at the bowl, hoping Jay-Jay could not see his blushing face. A voice whispered in his ear, hot, wet. "You should come back by my place, Sanada-san… I can give you all the meat you ever want there…"
"Ha, can't be as delicious as Shinji's meat!" Akihiko boasted.
"Why don't we find out? You can compare…"
They left the beef shop together and walked to Jay-Jay's apartment. Sweat dripped down Akihiko's face. Was he ready for this meal? Jay-Jay closed the door behind him and pushed Akihiko to the floor. Jay-Jay's face descended until it was directly in front of Akihiko's own.
"Are you ready for your meal, Akihiko?"
"Ha! I've been waiting for this."