K.C. sits on a compfy couch in her modest living room. Curled up in a fluffy comforter blanket and hugging a stuffed teddy bear, she watches the television, glowing as the day turns into night.
Black and white footage of Nat King Cole singing "Christmas Song" plays.
Cole: "Everybody knows a turkey and some mistle toe help to make the season bright."
The fridge behind her in the kitchen opens up and Mr. Chapel bends over to look in.
Cole: "Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow, will find it hard to sleep tonight."
Cole: "The know that Santa's on his way."
Chapel opens some eggnog, smells it, winces and closes the firdge.
Cole: "He's loading lots of toys and goodies..."
Chapel trashes the eggnog and starts eating some frosted cookies.
Cole: "...on his sleigh. And every mother's child is gonna spy to see if reindeer, really know how to fly."
Chapel leans on the arch into the kitchen, munching on a cookie, looking over at K.C.
Cole: "And so I'm offering this simple phrase, to kids from one to 92: althought it's been said many times, many ways ... Merrcy Christmas to you."
"Merry Christmas," says Chapel.
"ARG!" she rips off the blanket and jumps up, jerking around to see who it is. "Oh, my G-"
"You're out of eggnog."
"You drank my lat good one. How'd you get in here?"
She sits back down and lowers the TV, "See, now you're just getting lazy. Normally your one-liners make some kind of sense, like renting a room to hang your suits."
"Just got the job."
"What about your paper route?"
"Quite. Nobody reads the New York Times anymore anyway," sits down in a chair off to her side.
"How'd you get in, again?"
"You picked my lock?" grabs the bag of cookies from him. He reaches for another cookie as the bag goes away, then shrugs his shoulders.
"Of course not; friends don't pick other friend's locks. I used a key."
"I don't remember ever giving you my key."
"I lifted it from your purse when you weren't looking and duplicated it, then put it back in. You know, glow-in-the-dark condoms could contain chemicals which could involuntarily sterilize an individule."
"You're just making that up."
"So, why'd you copy my keys, other than to scare the bejeebus out of me?"
"Well, ah, incase of an emergency and need in, or you do and lost your keys, it's always better in my line of work to enter quietly than break the door down for the neighbors."
"Okay, you're off the hook this time," says K.C.
"Thank you," sucks the frosting off his fingers. K.C. mouths "Ew".
"Oh, no - you're not gonna have me break in somewhere, kidnap somebody, or get into harm's way a week before Christmas, are you?"
"No, but it is subject to change. Is that a security bear?"
"You know, like Linus has a security blanket that Snoopy's always trying to get his paws all over."
"It's Mr. Fuzzy Wuzzy, and my dad gave him to me."
"Why aren't you ... with your dad," lifts a hand palm up.
K.C. holds her teddy bear closer and looks down, "Dad and his new girlfriend are spending Christmas in Hawaii."
"You want me to ... bring him back?" asks Chapel in his special way.
"No tasering my dad! Ordinarily I wouldn't have to say that to my friends, but..."
"What about that, ah, Swain you liked? A lot."
"We're not really ... he's been eacting funny around me lately."
"Ha ha funny?"
K.C. turns and points at Chapel, "It's a holly jolly Christmas incase you didn't hear."
"It is? Oh, my goodness."
"What did you do, eat a humbug?"
"No, but there is this Asian resturant that serves fried crickets. A little garlic butter ... not that bad."
"Oh my God."
"Every now and then, when the moon is at it's fullest," Chapel motions with both hands above his head, "there's a slight breeze, a special scent in the air, if I listen just right, I swear I can still hear a churping coming from my gut."
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" starts humming while plugging her ears.
"The Morse Code of the animal kingdom."
She continues. She looks up at him. He opens his mouth and lifts a finger as if to start again. She hums while still plugging her ears. She looks again. He waves it off and she removes her fingers.
"Are you done?"
"No more gross bug talk."
"But I can still be gross, right?"
K.C. replies, "Without question."
"Okay, you didn't just come here to eat my cookies and pilfer any remaining eggnog. What do you want?"
"Maybe a little bit of it was eggnog related."
He smiles, "Well," pats a hand rest, "I thought it was time you and I got married, and moved into a place of our own, together."
K.C. raises her eyebrows and gives him a look as if to say, what the hell are you talking about? Chapel does a half smile, puts a hand up, fingers out.