I looked down at the piece of plastic with my picture on it. I feel like I shouldn't have gotten it yet. I know I worked hard on it and studied a bunch. But I still don't deserve it.
"Hey, good job buddy!" James said, giving me a hardy pat on the back. I faked a smile and nodded. Kendall gave me a concerned look. I caught his gaze and looked into his eyes. He looked back and smiled. I felt chills go down my back. Yes, I have strong feelings for Kendall. I always try to push the feelings away but they always end up coming back, stronger than it was before.
"Everything alright Carlitos?" Kendall asked. I nodded and walked ahead outside to Logan's car.
Kendall sneaked up behind me and pinched my sides. I let out a yelp and jumped. "Kendall, you know I hate it when you do that!" I huffed, crossing my arms. I instantly knew that was the dumbest thing I've done today. Kendall just chuckled and put his arm on my shoulders. My eyes widened as he decided his arm was better around my waist. His face went serious real quickly.
"Carlos?" That was probably the first time he used my real name in a while.
"Hm?" I hummed.
"Are you sure everything is fine?" he asked. I looked at my feet as tears filled my eyes. I couldn't even stop myself from crying just thinking about all the accident.
"Yeah.. I'm fine" I said, my voice cracking terribly. Kendall stopped walking.
"No, no you're not." He grabbed my arm and turned me towards him. When Kendall whirled me around, I tripped and he caught me. My face wasn't even one inch from his. I looked into his green brilliant eyes. Logan and James popped up out of nowhere.
"I found the keys!" Logan yelled. Kendall quickly backed away from me. I fidgeted a bunch trying to make it look like nothing was happening.
"Why are you guys acting so nervous?" James said fixing his already perfect hair. Kendall and I scoffed a bunch.
"Psh. We aren't acting nervous..." Kendall added a fake laugh for a effect.
"Yeah... We're just two buds... Just talkin'..." I trailed. Logan eyed me suspiciously. "Ok then!" he said. He drove us home in a really awkward silence.
As soon as we got home, I locked myself into the bedroom that we all shared. I shoved my head into my pillow from the bed I shared with Kendall and cried into it. I took out my picture of Maria and cried harder. Maria was a girl who I used to go out with. We had a strong relationship. Until this one day, when she broke up with me since I was so "stupid". Right after she broke up with me, she was involved in a really terrible car accident. She swerved her car to avoid hitting a stupid stray dog. When it swerved, it rolled over 3 times and was hit by another passing car. She died of course. But in a way, I never really got over her. I know I should have, she never really loved me. But it hurt. When you love someone, they break up with you and call you stupid, and then they get killed in a car accident. After that, I decided to still be straight, but go both ways. I heard knocking on the door.
"Carlitos? Can I come in?" It was Kendall. I couldn't let him see me like this.
"Um.. Carlos isn't here at the moment." I said deepening my voice with a weird accent. I glared at the picture of Maria for a second before slapping it.
"Oh really..." Kendall said picking the lock.
"Y-yeah..." I stuttered. I was panicking. Kendall cannot see the picture of Maria. Suddenly, I couldn't stand the girl in the picture. I found Kendall's hammer in his underwear drawer(long story). I hit the picture as many times as I could and tossed it out the window. Kendall walked in as I was shoving the hammer back where it was before.
"Carlos? What are you doing in my underwear?" He asked. I felt my cheeks go a bright red color.
I picked up a pair with Patrick Star on it. "Just sayin' hi to my good ole' buddy. Haha." I said.
Kendall walked in and snatched the underpants from me. "What's the matter?" he asked, scooting close to me. I shook my head.
"Nothing is the matter." I bit my bottom lip. Kendall took my hand and squeezed it a few times.
"You sure?" he asked. I shook my head.
"No..." I felt like a girl crying about running out of mascara, whatever that is. Kendall held out his inviting arms and I went into them. "I'm.. I'm just scared.." I admitted.
Kendall rocked me a bit and stroked tears away from my eyes. I was really confusing myself. I can't stand Maria, but I miss her like hell.
"Scared of what, baby?" Kendall asked. I was quiet for a few seconds.
"Do you think I'm stupid?" I said after a few seconds. Kendall breathed out kind of loudly and thought.
"Well..." he swallowed hard. "You don't always do the smartest things... But no, you're not stupid. Why?" he smoothed my hair. I just shrugged.
"No reason." I lied. Kendall tried to look me in the eye, but I looked away.
"Don't lie to me, something's bugging' ya ever since you got your permit." he said. I was about to tell him everything when James stomped into the room, exploding about how he couldn't believe himself dropping something on his lucky white v- neck. Kendall let out a frustrated sigh. "God damn.." Kendall said quietly.
"What the hell is wrong with me anyway. What kind of idiot just drops stuff on their clothes anyway?" James went on with that until he got a new shirt.
"Hey, can we deal with this later? I'm kind of in the middle of something." Kendall said. "Whatever..." James said, walking out and still cursing himself. "Now..." Kendall sat down next to me again and put his arms around me again. "What's wrong with my little Carlitos?"
I felt my cheeks get hot again when Kendall called me "his little Carlitos". I looked into his still brilliant and warm green eyes. I felt myself get lost into them. He had such a pretty face. The way he wore his blonde hair always makes me smile, his eyebrows... Everyone say their kind of bushy, but I think it's cute. The eyes I mentioned before. Nothing to say about his nose, and sometimes I can't help but stare at his lips, hoping to be kissed by them some day.
"Are you hungry, Carlitos?" Kendall asked. I was confused. Why did he want to know whether I was hungry or not? Then I realized why. I had been drooling while staring at that beautiful face.
"OH! Um... I am a little hungry.. I was just thinkin' about corn dogs... Yeah..." I said a little awkwardly.
"You wanna go get something to eat?" Kendall asked. I quickly shook my head. He nodded. I began to think in the silence.
Why was Kendall all of a sudden being so touchy-touchy with me? Not that I didn't like it, because DAMN! I love it! I just wanna know why. I also wanna know when I'm going to start learning to drive. I feel as if I'm going to be all stupid, do something stupid and kill the ones I love. Just the thought of me killing Kendall in a stupid accident, made tears come into my eyes. 'No Carlos. You have got to be a man. No more crying' I thought to myself. I felt lips being pressed to my cheek. Kendall smiled at me and said that it was ok to be scared. I nodded. What I was really thinking about was how right it felt when Kendall's lips were pressed against my skin. I shivered a little when he did it again.
"Are you afraid that you're going to kill me or Logan or James when you're driving?" he suddenly said. He got it right on the dot. I just looked up at him. I felt the damned tears flood my eyes and nodded. 'Why am I such a f-ing sissy? I crying over everything right now? seriously Carlos?' I thought to myself, mentally slapping myself.