The Walls Come Down
I usually never cry, I never let myself get to that point where I have to. My barriers never get broken, but right now, I can't hold it in. My mind is playing back the scene over and over, each time worse than the first. Beck and I are done. Finished.
Everything we ever did is gone in a matter of seconds. All the memories, touches, the glances, the feelings, vanished. As if they just died, and were all for nothing. I can't even comprehend my thoughts, they haunt me with nostalgia. I drive away from Beck's house, the only place I seek safety, my heart shattered into a million microscopic pieces.
"I'm sorry Jade, but we can't keep pretending like we actually care anymore. I honestly don't see a future for us. All we do is fight, and it's not fair to our friends. I will always be there for you, but we're over Jade. I'm done." His words hit me hard. Beck couldn't even look me at me, and that's when I knew we really weren't together anymore.
Pulling over to the side of a road I don't recognize, I stare blankly into the dark night, weary and tears threatening to erupt any second now. My mind can't process this, it's like a nightmare, and not the kind of nightmare I would normally enjoy. This feels as if the world is ending, like anything I ever loved has stopped mattering, and I won't ever wake up from this. I finally break down, tears dripping down my face. My heart is pulverized, as if being thrown underneath a moving truck. I bury my face in my shaking hands, and my breathing becomes uneven.
I know I look hideous, mascara ruined, leaving black streaks on my pale face. I wipe my eyes with my sleeve of my leather jacket, then grip the steering wheel tightly. I don't even know where I am, the only light illuminating the road is coming from the hazy moon up in the macrabe sky. This place is like a ghost town. I pull out my phone, and stare at the screen, I have no idea who to call or what to do. I scroll down the contact list, looking for someone to listen.
I can't call Cat, it would be like talking to a 2 year old about relationships, and I don't think I can handle that right now. Beck is clearly not an option, and Andre and Robbie are completely clueless about these things.
Tori. Tori would surely understand this, even though I hated to admit it. I would rather be stabbed a million times in my throat by my own scissors then tell that to her face.
I know I can't let anyone see me like this, but she's already seen me this way before. I dial the number, clearing my throat before talking.
"Jade? Why are you calling me?" She asks, her voice groggy and scratchy with sleep. "Can I come over?" I ask, wiping the rest of the remaining tears from my cheeks. "Uh, yeah sure. Where are you?" I look around, noticing a faded street sign barely reading the words Willow Rd. "I'm on Willow Road, I'm not quite sure where that is. I kind of just ended up there." A brief pause of unpredictable silence occurs, but she tells me the directions to her house from there. I thank her quickly, and hang up.
By the time I arrive at Tori's house, it's 1 AM. I pull up on the driveway, as the first few raindrops fall from the clouds, hitting my skin. The bitter wind meets my face, as I walk quietly to the front porch. I smooth my clothes and try to fix my hair before knocking on the door. Tori opens the door slowly, her hair tussled from sleep, and she yawns. "Come on in Jade." She steps aside so I can enter, and closes the door with a gentle click. She motions for me to come upstairs with her as I enter the living room.
We reach her room, and Tori sits on her bed, pulling her blanket tighter around her shoulders. I hesitantly take a seat next to her, and take a deep breath, filling up my lungs, before speaking. "Beck- broke up with me." She nods, "I know, I was there." She refers to the day he ended it at her house. I shake my head. "He really broke up with me, I drove to his house tonight, to make things better. But he meant it. We're over, it's all over."
I let out a sigh, the sadness creeping back into my soul. I choke on the tears rising in my throat. They begin to flow uncontrollably wetting the material of my shirt, and causing my body to shake violently again. I sob, feeling the embrace of warm arms around me. I would instinctively push someone away who tried to touch me besides Beck, but Tori's all I have right now. I lean into her, tears saturating her skin and shirt.
Nuzzling my face into her neck, I take in her vanilla flowery scent, and wrap my arms tightly around her slim waist.
"Jade?" Tori asks, whispering softly as she rocks me back and forth.
I look up with watery eyes, her cocoa brown eyes locking with mine. "I need you to listen to me. I don't care what you want, you need to hear this from someone."
I open my mouth to protest, not wanting to be lectured right now, but close it. Jade, just let it go. I tell myself.
Tori holds my shoulders in a firm but almost tender grip, staring into my eyes with great intensity.
"Beck was wrong for leaving you. But it just wasn't meant to be. I know you love him, but sometimes love doesn't work out. It can change, and feelings get lost and there's nothing you can do to save them from the damage. You just have to get through it. You have to let go, even if it hurts like hell. I know we aren't the greatest of friends, and that you don't like me, but you came here tonight because you needed someone. Jade, you are strong, and this won't be the end. Things will get better, but it all depends on how you deal with this."
I don't release Tori, her words beginning to sink in. "I'm going to help you, whether you like it or not."
Hi there! I'm Olivia, and this is my first fanfic. I hope you liked chapter one, and let me know if you want me to continue! :)