!Beep, Beep, Beep! I woke to a startling noise. I turned in my bed and saw my alarm clock buzzing and flashing 8:45. I groggily shut it off and got up from my bed. My bed, I didn't know how much of a foreign concept that would become when I went into The Secret Service. But it has. It's like I don't know what it feels like to have a life. I don't have a life. Its just me, myself and I, 343 days a year. No relationships. It's not worth it. I get two weeks off a years, most of the time it's sporadically. So, there would be no time for a relationship, even if I wanted on. But being in it since I was 19, I'm pretty much used to it now. I don't have to worry about anything when I'm away from my apartment.
I tried out a cat my first year; to have something to come home to, but I guess my neighbor got tired of feeding him because when I got home Cody, my playful young orange tom cat was lying dead on the tile floor of the bathroom. It hurt, ya, but I can't say I didn't expect it. So after that I kept my home pet free. Now going on my fifth year in the SS, I don't bother. I still hurts to be alone, but it's easier that way. I have no one to worry about but myself.
This year was a good year though, my vacation days were back to back. I have three weeks, 21 days, 504 hours to do absolutely nothing but sleep and be alone. Yay. The only good thing is I don't have the hustle and bustle that I have when I'm on duty or a mission. I don't have to sleep with one eye open, so to speak. That was the only good thing. I didn't like being alone, don't get me wrong, I hated it, but I didn't want to have to worry about them, or worse, have them worry about me. It also wouldn't be fare to them, I was gone almost all year. So I stay alone, with the exception of my dad, who I see every once in a while because he still has his job with the PPP. He's still saving Pretty Prissy Princesses, I joke with him. Although I have a different perception of princesses now because of the one and only Princess Rosalinda Maria Montoya Fiore.. The one and only ruler of Costa Luna. She sent my mind in a whirlwind in so many ways. She still does.
"What are you doing Carter?" I ask myself in the mirror as I splash my face with cold water, initially waking myself up. I still think about her and the time she spent with my dad and I, how can't I? She was my first crush, she made it final. She made what I had known for years before I suppose, but she finalized it. I was gay. I knew though that she didn't match my feelings. One time though, I perhaps had a slip of judgment.
"Carter?" I heard a soft whisper, almost not catching it. Then it happened again.
"Carter?" A hint louder. I turned to see Rosie sitting up in her bed, perfectly poised, with a pillow in her lap. She looked terrified.
"Yes, Rosie?" I asked as I turned around to face her.
"I am frightened." She said in her perfect grammar that annoyed me and yet enticed me just the same. I sighed. What could she be scared of now? All it was doing was raining, well more like pouring, outside.
"Why?" I asked stretching, trying to wake myself up. As she opened her mouth to speak a loud crash came through the silence along after with a brief flash of light. She nearly jumped a foot off of her bed. As I watched her, I saw tears almost push past her eyes before she silently push them back, composing herself before she spoke.
"Of that." She said, her voice breaking slightly. I sighed again.
"Don't you have rain storms in Costa Luna?" I asked her.
"Yes, but they are not loud. They are actually very peaceful and comforting." She said smiling a little, probably remembering her home. Her smiling didn't last long because another loud bang hit the air, making her jump once again. I let out groan of annoyance, knowing what I had to do. I waited a couple of seconds, really not wanting to do this, but if I actually wanted to get some sleep I guess it had to be done.
"Would you like to sleep in my bed, Rosie?" Rosie looked away from me. I initially took that as a no, so I turned back around, trying to fall back asleep. It was five minutes and two thunder crashes later before I felt my bed dip. I looked over where Rosie was sitting to find it empty. Finally. I closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to accompany me. I was just drifting off when I heard my name yet again come from the princess' lips. I took a deep breath and let it out before I turned to face the thing, person, princess, that was keeping me from the one thing I wanted at the moment.
"Yes, Rosie?" I asked for what it seemed the upteenth time. I heard her swallow before she spoke.
"My mother hugs me when I am frightened in the night." She stated looking at me. I didn't know what to say. Did she want me to cuddle with her? I must have been in my mind for to long because she spoke again.
"Will you hug my while I fall asleep, Carter?" She asked in her voice that was too sweet for me to say no.
"You want me to cuddle with you?" I asked almost surprised. She looked up at me, biting her lip, and nodded. Why did my dad have to bring home a cute princess? I didn't want a princess in my house at all. But why did she have to be cute?
"Come here." I said after her eyes widened at another strike of thunder. She came closer to me and I wrapped my arms around her as she closed her eyes. I waited for a couple of minutes before I let mine do the same. As I did, I felt Rosie snuggle closer to me. Seconds later I felt a soft pair of lips on my cheek and a breathy whisper there after.
"Thank you, Carter, I am no longer frightened." I had my eyes closed for about a half an hour after that. I was awake just waiting for her breathing to slow saying that she was officially asleep. Then and only then did I let sleep beckon me and I fell into the best slumber I ever had, with a content smile on my face.
I hit myself in the head. I wasn't supposed to be thinking about this! Why couldn't I get over this miniscule crush? God, Its been five years! Rosie is now Queen Rosalinda Maria Montoya Fiore, she has probably forgotten about me anyway. I was getting myself all hyped up over nothing. Stop it. I mentally scolded myself. I decided it'd be best to distract myself from my thoughts like I always do, running on my treadmill. I went to my basement, where I kept it, grabbing my Ipod on the way down. I got on the treadmill, sticking my earbuds in my ears . I turned my Ipod on, blasting my workout mix, and started the treadmill on high. Instantly I was running.
I woke to the sun shining in through my bedroom window. Wincing as I stared at it head on, instantly turning my head back. When I did I found the typical, no Antonio. What happened? He was so sweet and romantic when he was courting my hand. But when, after three years, I finally accepted he changed dramatically. I front of our people he was still that guy, sweet and respecting. He had all of the women swooning, they thought he was the best man in the kingdom. What they didn't know, what we kept hidden, what he made me hide, was his evil side. In the beginning he only let it out behind closed doors, when he knew we would not be bothered by staff or my mother. But months after that started, he got a little more confident. He would hold me a little tighter, giving me just the amount of inflict that he wanted, keeping his smile on his face. The smile I have come to fear, that which others melt at. Now he sneaks evil stares at me, making me cringe every time I see him. He likes the power. He reminds me of a movie I saw years ago. Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One I have never heard of until Carter introduced me to it. The thought of a person having that much of a split personality then scared me. But I didn't believe it could happen in real life. Now I'm living with my own monster. Carter... She introduced me to so much in the short time I was there. She always knew how to comfort me.
I was jumped out of my thoughts by a wail. I slightly cringed as I got out of bed. Last night, Antonio was in the mood for one of his domination sessions. But no matter how much pain I was in, I still had to get up.
"Isabella, what's wrong?" I said as I stared down at my precious baby girl sitting in her crib crying and loud as her little lungs could get. She looked up at me and paused for a brief second before starting her tantrum again. I knelt down to pick her up, regretting it almost instantly when a pain shot up from my abdomen. I drew in a breath and knelt down again slowly. My baby came before myself, and she will until I die. As I got her up she was still crying, I didn't know what could be bothering her.
"What's wrong, honey?" I asked knowing she wouldn't answer me, after all she just turned one. She stopped for a moment when she heard my voice and started yet again. I tried bouncing her on my hip to no prevail she didn't stop. I tried to burp her, she still continued to have a fit. I didn't know what to do. I felt so helpless and I despised it. I bet Carter would know what to do. No, I hadn't seen her interact with children, let alone babies, but I know she could fix it because she was Carter. I sighed. Why was I thinking about a girl who I haven't seen in five years. I'm not sure if she even liked me or was she just nice because she was told to by her father. I guess I'll never know.
Just as I was trying to calm Isabella down, Meredith, the palace nanny, came in looking worried. I looked from her to Isabella, who had yet to stop crying. I frowned a little bit. I swore to myself that my daughter would not be raised by nannies as I had. But yet here I was, not sure on how to comfort Isabella, my own child, my on flesh and blood. I felt defeated. Meredith must have seen it because she put a reassuring hand on my shoulder with a smile.
"My queen, do not fret, you are a new mother, it is normal to be confused on some things." I gave her a small smile.
"Now let me see the young princesa." I reluctantly handed Isabella over to her. She looked at her for just a second and put her finger in her mouth. She let out a knowing 'Ahh'. Once she put her finger in her mouth Isabella stopped crying. I was stunned.
"The princesa is teething, that is all." She said handing her back to me. Isabella started crying again. That until Meredith handed her a freeze toy, which Isabella started gnawing on. I grateful smile spread on my face.
"Thank you." I said as she was leaving.
"You are welcome, My Queen." She said as she went out the door. I smiled at my baby who was now as happy as ever. I placed her in her crib and walked back into the bedroom so I could prepare for the day.
I went into my closet to select what I wanted to wear today. Today wasn't anything special, so I guess I could wear something casual. I picked a maroon colored dress. I got my undergarments and headed off to the shower.
Once I got in there, the water hit my skin and I felt stinging all over my body. I hurried and washed myself and got out as quick as possible. Wrapping the towel around myself I went to my bedroom where I laid my clothes. I was about to change when the door open and closed. I knew who that was. My husband. Antonio. I fearfully cringed as I heard his footsteps get closer. I didn't dare look at him. So I kept my gaze on the yet to be made bed. I stiffened as I heard his steps come to a halt and his breath on my neck.
"Look at me, My Queen." He said as I slowly turned toward him. Knowing if I didn't he'd make me. He smiled and I did everything not to cringe. Queens do not fear, they stand tall.
"Yes, My King?" I said looking him.
"All ready for me I see." He said as he put his hands on my towel.
"We have breakfast with my mother in 20 minutes, Antonio." I said keeping my composure. He didn't look to happy. He forcefully yanked the towel from my body and pushed me on the bed with one hand as his other undid his pants. Once I was on the bed he pulled them off along with his shirt and climbed on the bed. He climbed up on the bed until he was on top of my looking down. He smiled and then it turned to an evil look.
"You will give me an heir suitable to run Las Costas, Rosalinda." He said forcefully. Tears were pricking at my eyes but I refused to let them fall. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
"You have one, Isabella, remember?" I asked getting mad. He laughed.
"That brat? Ha! She is not suitable. I will have a son." One tear fell down my cheek as he called out daughter a brat before I spat in his face. I know I shouldn't, it was no where near suitable Queen etiquette, but he was no suitable king. This of course made him fuming. He slapped me across the face.
"Listen, My Queen, you will give me an heir to my thrown whether you want to or not. I do not mind being forceful." With that he picked me up by my neck and threw me on the floor. As I hit the floor I closed my eyes trying to brace myself. He then climbed off the bed and picked me up again and slammed me against a wall. Right as he did that, he entered me. I screamed. I was no where near ready for that. He silenced me by covering my mouth with his lips forcefully. As he continued to slam into me. I screamed each time, wishing it would be over soon. A couple of minutes later I could tell he was close by the way he was grunting and looking at the wall and not gazing menacingly at me. He was distracted in getting to his release, which was what I wanted. I took his state of distraction to push him away from me and out of me. I tried to run but her caught me on the elbow and grabbed hard.
"I told you I wanted and heir and God damn it, I will get one!" He he yelled at me before slamming me on a different wall, the wall which Isabella's crib was against in the connecting room. As I hit against the wall I heard Isabella start to wail again. He pushed himself up against me, trapping me against the wall and himself. Even as I was trying to catch my breath from the impact of being thrown against the wall my thoughts went to my crying baby.
"Isabella is crying." I said trying to get my breath.
"So?" He said entering me again, this time slowly. For his benefit, not mine.
"I have to go check on her!" I screamed at him, trying to push him off again, but I failed.
"You are not going anywhere!" He yelled grabbing my hair, making me yell out in pain as I unwillingly allowed the tears to finally fall down my face. It took mere seconds this time and he finally got his release. He grunted as he was done and quickly hurried out of the room.
I fell against the wall. While my silent tears were falling from my face, Isabella was crying loudly. I tried to get up, but my body hurt all over and I failed to comfort my baby before I fell into darkness.