Disclaimer: Doctor Who belongs to the BBC. I do not own any of it, nor do I make any money from it.
A/N Welcome to the first outtake of 'A Golden Rose'. All chapters in this story will be from that universe and will involve missing moments, deleted scenes and any alternate endings that you wish to see. They will be one-shots only and are not in order.
This outtake is set between Chapter 66 and 67 of 'A Golden Rose' or canonically, between 'Planet of the Dead' and 'End of Time: Part 1'. It was requested when I said that I did not want to write the events of 'The Waters of Mars'.
So, here's a light-hearted ficlet in place of a gut-wrenching episode.
"...and then she tells the bloody Vrin prince to shove off," the Doctor regaled Rose with the tale of the recent trip of Vrindelore that he and Jenny had taken. "We were both lucky to keep our heads."
Rose burst into giggles. "Oh my god," she gasped. "How did you escape?"
"Ah," he looked slightly uncomfortable. "The prince simply wouldn't take 'no' for an answer so our dear daughter twisted one of his tentacles quite painfully. The poor bloke was in agony."
Rose clamped her lips shut, determined not to laugh. She ought not to condone her daughter's violence but she was just a little proud. So sue her. She wisely decided to change the subject. "So, are we there yet?" she asked in an exaggerated bored voice.
The Doctor rolled his eyes at her, a smile at his lips. "Nearly," he said. "Bowie Base Twenty-Three has the best pizza in the solar system."
"So you keep saying," Rose said as she stood up. "I have yet to have this magnificently best pizza that you keep telling me about."
"Cheeky, you," he wagged his finger at her. "Just you see."
"Are we gonna need spacesuits?" she asked as the TARDIS materialised on Mars.
"Nah, by the time Bowie Base number twenty-three comes around, humans have learned to use biosphere technology. Completely breathable atmosphere coupled with lovely Martian views," he explained as he twisted the final dials and then gestured to the doors.
Rose nodded as she bounded to the doors and opened them. "Biosphere, eh?" Rose asked, thankful that the TARDIS was protecting her. She didn't much fancy suffocating.
The Doctor walked in behind her and smiled sheepishly. "Ah," he said, tugging on his ear. "There might be a slight possibility that we are not where we are supposed to be."
"Can you, for once, just admit you're wrong?" Rose grumbled as she stomped back to the console. She rapidly began to press the buttons, seemingly taking out her frustration on the poor TARDIS controls. A chiding beep made her actions relax slightly.
"I'm not wrong," the Doctor protested as he walked back to her. "It was an honest mistake."
Rose resisted the very childish urge to stick her tongue out at him and instead settled for nearly crushing the poor helmic regulator. She ignored the Doctor's mutterings about his frankly magnificent driving skills and focused on getting an accurate reading on the scanner of their precise whereabouts.
"...and that time, the thermo buffers weren't even working but I still managed to..."
"Doctor," Rose interrupted, staring at the scanner with apprehension in her eyes.
"...perfect landing ever. Welll, I say perfect. More like astounding. Astoun..."
"Doctor," Rose said, more insistently and the Doctor actually paused in his rambling to check what had got her so worked up.
"It's Bowie Base One," he read and then looked at the date. "2059. We should go."
"Yep, immediately," Rose agreed and the two of them sprang into action, piloting the TARDIS away as quickly as possible. No interfering with fixed points.
"The pizza on Barcelona is good," Rose offered as they floated along in the vortex. "We could go there again."
The Doctor made a face. "Barcelonan pizza...not one of my favourites," he said.
"That's because you ordered the one with jalapenos and then hated it," Rose said patiently. "Fine, let's just forget about the pizza. We could go to Cardiff and see Jenny."
His face brightened up immediately as it did with the notion of seeing their daughter. Then the tiniest of scowls rose up. "We have to see Jack as well," he said petulantly like a child who had been told that there would be no ice cream if they didn't eat their greens.
"He's her boss and our friend," Rose said, hiding her smile. "You might as well get used to seeing him. It's been almost two years."
The Doctor actually pouted at that. "I'm used to it," he said. "I just don't like it."
Rose turned on her pleading eyes. "Please, Doctor," she said. "I haven't seen Jenny in so long."
The Doctor almost melted but then stubbornly shook his head. "Not gonna work," he said.
"Fine," Rose said. "We could prank Jack," she said, hoping to sway him.
The Doctor was immediately excited. "Now you're talking," he said, looking like she had announced that they were building a planet of bananas. Although, that might exist. Did it? They really should research...
"Doctor," Rose's voice pulled him away from banana-filled fantasies.
"Yes, pranking Jack," he nodded happily. That was almost as good as a planet of bananas. "What should we do this time? We could hypnotise the Weevil to sing 'I'm too sexy' again."
Rose laughed at the memory. The entire Torchwood team had been flummoxed when Janet had started singing that song in her gravelly voice.
"Or, we could hide chunks of meat in Jack's office for the pterodactyl to find," he suggested.
"Yeah, we want to prank him, not kill him," Rose said, putting end to that line of thought.
Damn, thought the Doctor. "Alright, nothing injuring or fatal. We could always scare him," he said.
"How?" Rose asked curiously.
"Bad Wolf," he said, grinning at her.
"What about me?" Rose asked him in confusion.
"We could take a page out of your book," he said.
"What exactly would be that?" Rose asked even as an idea began to form in her mind.
He rolled his eyes. "You, my dear Rose," he said. "You wrote your name on petals and spread them across time and space."
Rose blushed and cleared her throat. "You want to graffiti the Torchwood hub?" she asked, choosing not to comment on the other words.
The Doctor's lips twitched in amusement at having embarrassed her. "Yes," he nodded. "We'll start small, with things scratched on surface, eventually going as far as inputting a virus in the hub computer that will make those words appear at intervals."
"Alright, sounds good. How far do you wanna spread them out?" she asked.
"Seven months should do," he said, after thinking.
"Why?" Rose asked curiously.
"Seven letters," he grinned cheekily.
Rose laughed. "Alright, let's go."
Captain Jack Harkness congratulated his team on a job well done and returned to his office. They had finally managed to track down that Plasmavore who had been working at a blood donation clinic.
He sat down in his chair and put up his feet on the desk. His eyes registered something different and he peered at the odd spot on his desk. He lifted his legs off the desk and looked at it closely. There, as clear as the day, were two words that chilled him. Bad Wolf.
He jumped back, his heart thumping loudly. He read it again, just to make sure he hadn't misread it. Was it a warning? Was something coming? He spent the whole day worrying.
Three days later, Jack and Gwen were at the shooting range for their weekly practice. "Here," Jack handed her a triple enfolded sonic disrupter. "Try using this."
"Uh, is it safe?" Gwen asked him apprehensively.
"Sure," he nodded. "But I will fetch the protective eyewear just in case."
Gwen nodded and Jack went to get them from the tiny cupboard where they were kept. There, on the door, were the scratched words: Bad Wolf.
He flinched back and let out a cry of surprise.
"Jack!" Gwen called. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"Yeah," he answered. "It's nothing!"
The words started appearing more frequently after that. All over the Hub, around Cardiff, and it got him worried. Sometimes they were subtle, like words scratched over surfaces or graffiti. Other times, they interrupted the computers in the Hub by having those words randomly pop up.
Whatever the reason for it, Jack was completely terrified. He checked the footage in and around the hub to see who exactly was responsible but the footage remained clean. There wasn't even any trace of tampering or sabotage.
"Jack," Jenny called and he jumped violently. "Whoa," Jenny said. "What's wrong? You've been jumpy all week."
"Nothing, nothing," he said hastily. "I'm fine."
Jenny eyed him critically. "Are you sure? You look like a deer caught in the wolf light," she said.
"What?" he yelped.
"A deer caught in the headlights," Jenny repeated and looked at him like he was insane. "Jack, are you feeling alright?"
Jack nodded hurriedly and almost ran back into his office. Jenny waited till he was completely out of sight before bursting into giggles. Her parents could be positively evil sometimes.
Back in the TARDIS, the Doctor and Rose collapsed with laughter. "Oh, poor Jack," Rose giggled.
"What should we do next?" the Doctor asked. "We could take Gwen and Ianto into confidence," he suggested.
"Ooh, can we also add signs of the Face of Boe?" Rose asked in excitement.
"Brilliant," the Doctor grinned.
Rose laughed and shook her head. "How long do you think until he figures out that we're all messing with him?" she asked.
The Doctor shrugged and grinned mischievously. "I don't know," he said. "But I do hope it's a very long time away."
A/N And that's all. I did want to leave it a bit open-ended. Poor Jack.
Any other outtakes that you want to see? From Doctors 9, 10, 11 or even the ones before. Or some from River and John. Leave me requests in the reviews. Ooh, except smut. Because I suck at writing it and it will just be clumsy.
The expression of Rose 'writing her name on petals and spreading them across time and space' was coined by RTD and I take no credit. I just thought it was beautiful way of putting it.
Thanks for reading. Let me know what you want next.