A/N I forgot to mention that even though Silver is in Kanto now, Gold will still be making appearances and will have a much bigger role to play later on.
Silver wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep the previous night, but when he opened his eyes the following morning, the alarm clock flashed a bright six-thirty on its screen. He yawned and wiped at his eyes, well-rested from having a proper sleep for the first time in years.
"Good morning, Silver."
Silver tensed at Green's voice. He closed his eyes tightly, frightened for his safety – why was Green in his room…?
Green, who seemed to have sensed Silver's uneasiness, spoke in a softer tone. "I'm sorry if I woke you; I was just coming to get some clothes from the closet."
Silver's shoulders relaxed. That was right; this was Green's bedroom. Green had every right to come in whenever he wanted to and for whatever reason.
"…" Silver just pulled the covers up higher and rolled onto his side, facing away from the Gym Leader.
"I'm going to be out at the Gym all day today, Silver," Green started to explain as he pulled clothes out of his closet. "You're welcome to do whatever you want while I'm gone. There's food in the cupboards and I'm sure you'll find something to entertain yourself with."
Silver just nodded, still not saying a word. It made him feel better knowing that he would be alone.
"I just ask one thing of you, Silver." This was unexpected. "I'm leaving Eevee home so I want you to keep an eye on her and make sure she stays out of trouble. Can you do that, please?"
Silver raised an eyebrow and turned back to the elder; why would he leave his Pokémon alone with someone he had just met…? Was this some sort of trick, or…?
"Why are you doing that…?" Silver whispered as confusion shined in his eyes.
"Hmm? Doing what?"
"Leaving Pokémon with me… Aren't you worried that I would steal them or something…?"
Green shook his head without hesitation. "Of course not, Silver. I trust you."
Silver's eyes widened at those words. Never in his entire life had someone said that they trusted him. Usually it was people saying that they couldn't trust him. But Green… sounded so honest.
"Besides," Green continued on, "Eevee's pretty strong herself. You can battle against her if you wish."
"Why aren't you taking her with you?" Silver's voice was hoarse.
"I don't use her to battle."
Silver just nodded and left it at that. He laid back down on the bed and closed his eyes, hoping to go back to sleep. The last he heard of Green was the bedroom door closing as the male left.
Silver couldn't help but feel oddly at peace right now. Maybe… Green was the first person who he had met that could be trusted.
The day had dragged by slowly for Silver. There really wasn't much for him to do at Green's home, but that may have been because he honestly didn't know what he was supposed to do in a home. There were plenty of books for him to read, but Silver was too nervous to touch them; what if Green found out and hurt him?
There was also a TV set, but Silver had no idea how to operate it – he had never touched a television in his life. He was too afraid of breaking it.
Silver had found that sleeping, eating in small amounts throughout the day, and battling his Pokémon against Eevee had been his main source of entertainment.
When Green walked through the door once again, Silver couldn't help but get off the couch as if it had burned him.
"Hello, Silver." Green smiled as he removed his jacket. "Did you enjoy yourself while I was gone?"
Silver just shrugged and left the room. He didn't feel comfortable being in Green's presence just yet. Instead, he left the house completely, sitting down on the back porch. He took notice of his Pokémon playing together happily towards the back of the yard, taking no notice of their master.
"They're happy…" Silver mumbled to himself. He rested his head against the railings, shivering slightly from the chilly wind. "...Why can't I be happy, too…?"
You don't deserve happiness…
Silver flinched as his father's voice floated through his mind. He remembered when Giovanni told him that. That was on his seventh birthday and he, once again, got nothing – not even a happy birthday off anyone. He questioned his dad as to why he was treated so different to the other kids and why he and Giovanni didn't have a relationship like the other children. He had said that it made him really sad and that he just wanted to be happy like the other kids who teased him.
"You don't deserve happiness." Giovanni slapped Silver. "You're such a pathetic, worthless little maggot and you only deserve to be miserable in life. It's all you're good for. You're not here to be happy – you're here only to serve a purpose to this organisation and nothing more."
Tears dripped down Silver's cheeks as he nodded in defeat. "O-okay, d-daddy…"
"Now stop sooking and go to your room, Silver. I don't want to see you until I need you next."
Shivers ran up Silver's spine as he remembered that day. Even now it still caused him great pain – he had been used to the harsh treatment, but he had seen from the other families in the city that birthdays were important, special days of celebration. The other kids got presents and lots of love – but Silver's birthdays had only ever been just like any other day. How could Giovanni treat him in such a cruel manner on his birthday?
Silver couldn't fight his exhaustion any longer. He was just… so tired… He couldn't fight any longer, nor could he keep up the will to survive. He had tried so hard to become the strongest Pokémon trainer in the world because he felt that it would give him a purpose other than what his father had wanted for him, but it was clear that he was far from the strongest trainer if Gold could continue to beat him so easily.
Even now Silver just couldn't see why he should even try any longer. He knew that everything would be better if he were to just die; he wouldn't be around to anger others or upset them – and most of all, he wouldn't have to have his daily battle just to ignore some of his pain.
Watching his Pokémon, Silver could see just how better off they would be without him. He had done nothing but abuse them, treat them as slaves and make them just as miserable as Giovanni had made him.
"It hurts…" Silver whispered, reaching up to clutch as his chest. Tears dripped silently down his pale cheeks. "Everything hurts… Worse than ever… Please, God… Make it stop…! Anyone… Make the pain stop… Please…"
As Silver broke down on the back porch, he was unaware of Green standing by the window, watching him and listening to every plead he cried out.
Dinner that night was a quiet one. Green had made something simple as he wasn't in the mood to cook. As he and Silver sat at the small dining table, eating toasted sandwiches, Green was trying to decide how he should approach the subject of letting Silver know that he was there for him. He knew that he couldn't keep letting Silver go as he was now or else Silver was going to be seriously hurt. Or worse.
Silver seemed to pick up on Green's absent-mindedness, knowing that it was unlike Green to be so lost in thought. He wanted to know what the older male was thinking about, but he knew better than to ask.
The meal continued on in silence for several minutes more before Green placed his half-eaten toasted sandwich back on his plate and looked at Silver. Silver felt a shiver run down his spine as panic crawled throughout him at the look.
"Silver, I want you to know something," Green started, deciding to just go with whatever his heart told him was best. He didn't miss the way Silver flinched as if the brunet had raised a hand to him. "It's… Well, I can see that you're having a hard time and all, and… I just wanted to tell you that I do care about you, so… if you ever needed a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen… Well, I'm always here."
Silver looked down at his lap and shrugged. He couldn't figure the taller male out. He was the one and only person in his life who seemed genuine. But even so, that didn't mean that Silver was able to trust him and believe fully in his words.
Green could tell that the younger was having trouble embracing his words for whatever reasons, but he understood that. When he was younger, he had trouble trusting his grandfather properly because of the abuse and neglect he had suffered from his parents.
"I won't make you decide anything right now," Green added on. He could see the way Silver's eyes glinted as if he were about to cry. "You think about it for however long you need. Are you done with your dinner?"
Silver shrugged again, pushing the plate towards his guardian. He had done nothing but pick at his dinner, unable to eat. He watched in silence as Green cleaned up after them both.
Truth be told, Silver did want to trust Green – but how could he trust a stranger if he couldn't even trust his own father?
Just as tears begun to drip down his cheeks, Silver left the dining room without a word. He walked to Green's bedroom, closing and locking the door behind him. He didn't care that it was his host's bedroom – he wanted to be alone.
Silver curled up on the bed and lifted his sleeve. He glanced down at his wrists, deciding that it was finally time to end everything. He reached down and pulled the razorblade out from the sole of his shoe. He held it to his wrists in slight hesitation before he pushed down and ran the blade through a vein in his wrist – letting out a small squeak at the same moment Green knocked on the bedroom door.
Green had noticed that Silver had left the dining room quickly. He was worried greatly about the boy's sanity, and something was nagging at him to check up on the red-head. He didn't know what it was, but something was wrong.
Green made his way back to his bedroom, noticing that the door had been locked from the inside. He sighed and knocked on the hardwood, not wanting to use the master-key and intrude without Silver's permission – he could have been doing anything in there and Green's worry could also have been unfounded.
However, just as he made contact with the door, a yelp from inside the room caused Green's worry to grow ten-fold. Without hesitation, Green reached into his pocket and unlocked the bedroom door. He hurried inside, only to find Silver sitting on the bed, holding a hand to his wrist. Blood was gushing down the boy's arm in rivers.
"Oh, God…!" Green was horrified. He ran towards the younger, knowing that he couldn't just stand there and let this happen. He grabbed the redhead's bloodied arm and wrapped it in his shirt, desperate to stop the flow of blood. "Silver, I…!"
"Don't…!" Silver's voice was weak as he tried to fight Green away from him. It was clear that the blood loss had already affected him. "Just… leave…"
"No, I can't…" Green tightened the shirt around Silver's wrist, hoping that it would stop bleeding soon. "Silver, I… I can't just let you do this to yourself…"
Silver didn't reply; he was feeling too tired to bother. He closed his eyes and was unable to stop himself from falling against Green – no matter how hard he tried not to make contact with the older.
Green bit at his lip, concerned greatly. The second the blood flow slowed down, it was a trip to the emergency room. He could only hope that Silver would pull through.
What felt like forever had only been several hours for Green before Silver's doctor came out and approached him.
"How is he?" Green dreaded to hear the news.
The doctor sighed before he removed his gloves. "Well, he cut straight through the veins. He didn't cut across – he cut downwards. He's very lucky. He should be okay."
"Can I see him?"
The dark-brown haired doctor shook his head. "No, not just yet. He's sleeping it off after having had a bad reaction to the painkillers we put him on. Give it about an hour or so for when he wakes back up. If he's doing better, then you may see him. You got him here just in time."
Green nodded and sat back down in the waiting room as Silver's doctor left. He couldn't understand how Silver could think about doing such a thing let alone act on it. He… He had been through a lot in his life, too, but he had never wanted to kill himself just to escape from it. Was he wrong in assuming that he could understand Silver's pain and help him…?
"How are you feeling…?"
Silver narrowed his eyes at that stupid question. Oh, he had just about managed to kill himself, but he was feeling great. Yeah, right. Stupid idiot.
"What the fuck do you think…?" Silver groaned as he rolled onto his side. He didn't appreciate Green coming in here and asking stupid questions like that.
"Why would you do that to yourself, Silver…?" Green whispered. "Just… Why…?"
"Why would I explain it to you…?" Silver whispered back. He was tired of fighting. He couldn't bring himself to snap at Green. "You wouldn't understand…"
"…I think you're right about that last part… I don't think I could understand…"
"So why are you still here…?" A lone tear dripped down onto Silver's pillow. Why was Green the sole person in his life who seemed to care about his problems? "Why haven't you abandoned me like the rest of them…?"
"I'm not like that, Silver. I won't abandon you. I won't. Just, please… Why would you do this to yourself…?"
"…It hurts…" Silver scrunched his eyes closed and curled his hands into fists. "…It hurts so much… What they did to me… They made me like this… I hate them… I want to kill them…"
"Who?" Green reached out to touch Silver's shoulder in a reassuring manner, but Silver flinched back violently. He pulled his hand back to his body and instead settled for trying to send the damaged boy a warm smile.
"…" Silver sniffed before he replied. "…My father… Everyone who worked for him… People I've never met… Everyone…"
"Surely you can't mean the entire human population, Silver." Maybe it was because Green just didn't want to believe that Silver had never known kindness before, but he couldn't bring himself to trust in Silver's words. "There has to have been at least one person who has cared for you – even a tiny bit."
Silver was silent for a few minutes before he spoke one word. "You…"
"…You…" Tears started to fall in a steady rhythm down Silver's cheeks now. "You're the one and only person… who has ever cared… Even a little…"
Green couldn't help but let his heart go out for this poor child. He ignored Silver's attempts to move away from him and instead wrapped the child in a hug. He buried his face in the red hair, not knowing what to say.
"…I know bad things happen, Silver…" Green whispered, rocking the younger slowly. "…I know they do… They happen a lot… But there's also good things in life that make life worth living… No matter what happens, Silver… You can still live… You can still live…"
Green couldn't help but feel as if they had made progress together when, just minutes later, Silver reached up and gripped his shirt as the younger unleashed years of pent up emotions.