A/N: III'MM BAAACCCKKK! And seriously, it's better to have you guys think I was dragged into Limbo…it's more believable then that's what's really been happening. :P At any rate, I have another chapter and I really want to thank all of you that have taken the time to review, follow, and favorite my story. It's great encouragement and it means a lot to me when I hear from you guys.
9- Positive things…Opposite Day
"Oh Sweet, Merciful Thor!"
Johnson sniffed and looked down his beak-I mean, nose- at me. "Kindly restrain your immature exclamations."
I buried my face deeper into my mug. I sensed serious coffee envy.
Richard Johnson was one of those guys who couldn't stand it when 'peons' didn't listen to their 'superiors' (Just add the Bunny-Ear-Quotation-Marks cuz I was still face deep in French Vanilla goodness).
To be fair, it really didn't help when you asked if you could call him 'Dick'…
Some people just have no sense of humor...
I surfaced for air with a contented sigh and licked my lips. "Oh yeah, that's the stuff."
Johnson angrily crumpled his newspaper.
"I'm going, I'm going..."
I refilled my cup and pranced to the hallway.
His resounding "Lewis!" chased me all the way to the elevator.
I cackled like a madwoman as the doors slid shut.
Caffeine makes me hyper.
Son of Coul had a couch in his office. I'm jealous. My legs draped over the back with my head hanging off the edge of the seat. It was kinda funny watching as he tried to write notes while hanging from the ceiling like a bat. At least, that's what it looked like from this positon.
His right eye did something that would've been a twitch on a lesser man. "Yes, Miss Lewis?"
"I'm boorreedd…where is everybody?"
"Dr. Foster and Thor is currently retrieving a necessary prop from New Mexico, Dr. Banner is at a Yoga convention, Mr. Stark has taken Miss Potts to Paris for a long weekend, and everyone else is currently classified."
Wonder where Steve is?
I tried to sit up right, but had a spasm as my body protested what it thought was exercise and ended up rolling off the side landing with a thump on the flat, bumpy 'not carpet' carpet.
I scrambled to my feet. "I know what I wanna do today!"
Coulson's brows furrowed slightly, the equivalent of anyone else throwing a fit.
"Which floor are the agents on?"
I was already headed for the door.
"Just a moment, Miss Lewis!"
"Aw, Miss me already?"
Coulson opened a drawer to his left, pulled out a gun, and shot me.
…No, not really!
"From your attire, Miss Lewis, may I infer that you are an avid knitter?"
"My knitwear bring all the boys to the yard!"
He pulled a ball of yarn and a crochet hook from his desk…
This should surprise me, but I'm convinced that Son of Coul's desk is based off the Tardis…or Mary Poppins's handbag.
In every job that must be done…
"Why don't you see if you can master crocheting."
"But I was going to-"
I broke off as I looked at what was in his other hand. "Is that what I think it is?"
"This?" Agent I-Steal-Ipods-Muah-ha-ha dangled my darling Titanic in his hand, my Skull Candy earbuds dangling pitifully.
'Help us, Mommy!'
I could hear them!
Coulson pressed the ball of yarn into my grabby hands. "Successfully crochet first, then we will negotiate for your Ipod's return."
Well, played Son of Coul, well played…
I backed out of the office, petting the yarn like a Bond villain stroking a kitten. "I'll be Bahck."
1 stitch…2 stitch…increase…half-double back into the round…
Argh! I pulled the hook loose, clamped it between my lips and my nose like a bizarre mustache and started to pull the rest of the yarn loose.
Double checking the pattern, I started over.
And we thought knitting was hard…
"I will conquer you crochet! Then, all knit/crochet wear will be mine!"
And I'm sure I could, you know, do something further with that.
20 mins later…
"Fit. On. My. Head."
The stubborn yarn refused to obey my commands, the rim too tight on my head and forming a balloon over my crown. It didn't help that the yarn was blue and green.
I looked like a bizarre, bespectacled jellyfish…or maybe a…
"Hey, Jarvis, queue up 'Opposite Day' will you, please?"
"Of course, Miss Lewis."
"...do I even want to know what you're doing?"
"I'm Squidward, I'm Squidward! Squidward, Squidward, Squidward…"
"I'm Squidward, duh!"
Clint snorted, but the gorgeous red head standing next to him only raised an eyebrow. "I was told your name was Darcy."
"That's what my birth certificate says, but I'm a Squidward at heart."
"But 'No one wants to be a Squidward'."
My grin threatened to split my face. "I think…I just made a friend."
"Good for you," Clint snatched my mangled crochet attempt off my head and turned it this way and that critically. "Because you clearly can't make a hat."
"Well, somebody woke up on the wrong side of his perch today."
Now that I looked at him, our resident bird brain did look kinda rough. Like a stress test on a bullet proof vest, rough. Ouch.
"Er…want an ice cream sandwich?"
"Depends, did you make them?"
"Dude, apart from Thor's poptarts, if I didn't make it, it's not in the kitchen."
I snatched back my hat and scuttled into the kitchen. The freezer door was stuck again so I heaved it open, revealing my little parchment wrapped treasures.
"Take your pick!"
Clint reached in and grabbed one off the top. "What's Munchie Monster?"
"Peanut and potato chip cookies with Nutella ice cream."
Excellent tri-combo from college.
The red head stepped around Clint as he unwrapped his treat with a cautious, but intrigued expression, and reached into the freezer. "What's Health Nut?"
"Cranberry and oatmeal cookies with pistachio frozen yogurt."
Watching me like a lion staring down a poacher, she unwrapped the cookie and took a slow, but delicate bite.
"This is amazing!"
Clint wolfed his down in three monster bites and grabbed another out of middle of the pile. "All Nighter?"
"Chocolate covered espresso bean cookies, coffee ice cream. Started making them when Jane was still working on the Bifrost."
"Nice. Thanks Lewis."
"You're welcome Birdbrain."
I looked back over at the redhead who was crumpling an empty wrapper in one hand while looking through the freezer. "Chemical X?"
"Yeah…it's worth a try though. Peanut butter and sriracha cookies salted caramel ice cream."
I don't think she could've looked more skeptical if I told her that I flavored it with Draino.
"I didn't think it would work either. But it tastes like a pureed Power Puff Girl."
One red brow rose, a bite of cookie still in her mouth.
"Wait-that came out wrong…"
"Sugar and spice and everything nice?"
Clint snorted. "Well, Fury's probably chomping at the bit by now. C'mon 'Tasha."
"Thank you for the ice cream."
Then they were gone.
Well, back to the drawing board..er..crocheting board?
Something like that anyway.
"Hey, JARVIS? Is there anymore Spongebob?"
"But of course, Miss Lewis, did you have a particular episode in mind?"
"Hmm…why don't we start back at…square one?"
"Your wit is truly unique, Miss Lewis."
JARVIS, the sarcastic AI.
"Steeve! Quick, c'mere!"
"Uh," He seemed distracted by my still lopsided hat, and the dancing yellow sponge on screen.
"Ooh, you smell good. Like shower and dude."
His ears turned pink. "Ah, thank you?"
"No problem. Hey, have you seen Spongebob? Bubble Stand is one of my favorite episodes!"
I dragged him over to the sofa and pushed him down. I had a huge spread on the coffee table. "I couldn't decide what I wanted, so help yourself."
"Did-did you make all this? And, is that yarn? Sponge-what?"
"Huh?" Not the most elegant response, but I was neck deep in the ice box, what d'you want from me? I grabbed two cans of coke. With the current amount of sugar in my system, I didn't want to add alcohol to the mix.
I shuffled back over to the sofa, where Steve was tucking, with surprising finesse, into a goat cheese, caramelized onion, and bacon flatbread (one of my favorites). I handed him the coke, just as Spongebob and Patrick decided to demonstrate proper 'technique'.
"You know, in fifth grade, my teacher just showed us this scene instead of teaching us sex-ed." I casually took a sip of my coke as Steve choked.
"Yep, bring it around town, bring it aarrroouunndd town…"
Still pink, he chuckled, a low sound from deep in his chest. It did funny things to my insides. "Why doesn't that surprise me? Are you sure you're alright, Darcy? You seem more…hyper than usual."
I shrugged and scooted closer to him. "Eh, just had to entertain myself, I guess. What about you?"
His expression dimmed slightly. "It was…standard, but it's good to be back."
I sensed that this wasn't something he wanted to discuss in detail, so, using my infinite wisdom, I leaned over and nudged him with my shoulder.
"D'aww, I missed you too."
One strong, gold hand lifted to tug at the cap sitting on my head like a button mushroom. Straight white teeth flashed as he smirked a purely masculine smirk at me before brushing his fingers against my cheek. I felt my face heat. "Thanks, doll."
I was officially red.
How cute was that?
I coughed awkwardly to cover my Totally-not-embarassment and took another gulp of my coke.
I glanced at Steve who was watching the screen with a strange mixture of amusement and confusion on his face. The tips of his ears were still red.
"F is for friends who do stuff together…"
F stand for lots of other things too, but mostly friends because that's what we are.