AN: There are a few House 'Easter eggs' in this one, if you will… a few quotes and shout-outs… hope you guys don't mind. They're indicated with these: *. And there's another part toward the very end where I played around with some dialogue from She's the Man to fit the situation… instead of all the feminines, i.e. lady, woman, chick, the original was masculines, i.e. guy, man etc… Just want to give credit where credit is due! Hope you Enjoy!
Emma walked into Granny's that night. She was happy that she had the night off… She was going to waste the night away. She got her whiskey from Ruby and turned around to see Regina of all people in the very back, very dark corner… Might as well have a little fun, she thought as she saw that the mayor had seen her as well.
She walked over to the small booth and sat, "Madam Mayor."
"Deputy." Regina spoke curtly.
"What brings you to Storybrooke night life?"
"I've run out of gin at my house."
"I'm sure." Emma said disbelieving as she turned and saw Graham and Ruby flirting.
"Why are you here?"
Emma smiled, "Mary Margaret doesn't allow me to keep anything stronger than beer in the house… and it just isn't a beer kind of night…"
Regina rolled her eyes.
"What? You think Mary Margaret's a prude? You of all people?"
"I am anything but prude." Emma quirked a brow of intrigue.
"A lady never does the things I've done and tells." Regina gave Emma a flirtatious, dirty, secretive smile.
Emma smirked and drained her glass, "Fine. Be that way. I'll be right back. You want another?"
Emma got up, got another martini for Regina and another three fingers of whiskey for herself.
"Have you done things a lady shouldn't speak of?" Regina asked with a wild burst of confidence.
Emma smirked, "It depends on what you're asking? Just generally or in bed?" She shrugged, "Either way the answer is 'yes', I just need to know exactly what I'm divulging."
It was Regina's turn to smirk. "I'm shocked that you've done something… eclectic in bed."
"Why because I gave birth to our son at eighteen? Or because I gave birth to him in prison?"
Regina tilted her head in faux thought, "Does it matter?" Emma shook her head no, "What have you done?"
"Oh now… a lady never reveals the things she's done… isn't that the game we're playing?"
"I'll tell if you tell?"
"But I asked you first…"
Regina shook her head and sighed, "I've done good things and bad things… some I like most I don't…" She seemed to sadden immensely, "One thing I've never done is make love though… how pathetic is that?"
"You've never been in love?!" Emma asked a little too excited in a sense.
"Of course I've been in love…" Regina looked at her, "I've just… never gotten to make love… It was rather complicated…"
"Oh come on! Don't stop now…"
Regina gave the blonde a roll of her eyes and downed her martini. She looked to the side and raised her glass. One of the waitresses immediately ran over to her and replaced the glass with a fresh martini.
Regina gave the blonde a grin, "I fell in love when I was still quite young… Where I come from, it was normal to marry young. Well, we had planned to run away together, and away from my mother, who is just…" She shivered, "Crazy." She took the toothpick and ate one of the olives then stirred the drink mindlessly, "My family still does, well, did arranged marriages… before I knew it, I was trying to run with my love, but he died."
"How?" Emma asked.
"Car crash… He was on his way to pick me up. Drunk driver." She swallowed hard. "The next thing I knew I was engaged to this old man who already had a child… He took everything from me and I do mean the most intimate of things when I say everything, and then he and his daughter both left me… and I was alone…"
"And now you fuck the sheriff even though he likes someone else… And even though he does like someone else, you know he'll never stop fucking you because he is an honorable guy… but this is a duty to him now, you know…?"
"How do you even know—"
"Caught him coming out of your window three nights ago." Emma downed her glass and tried the same thing Regina did earlier… nothing happened. She pursed her lips, "Well that's not impressive at all…"
"No… but it's your turn now… you know of the men in my life. Now you."
"Just the men, or do you want the women too?" Emma gave her a quirked brow.
Regina raised both of hers in response, "Women…? Lovers?"
"Yeah… I'm bisexual…" Emma gave her a look then scoffed, "I thought you were anything but a prude…?"
"I am! Go on… tell all."
Emma shrugged, "…It's all pretty much the same story over and over again…"
"How many overs are there?"
"Uhh… 12…No…*13" She smiled an arrogant smile.
"Am I to be impressed by this?"
"I don't know… you're the one that asked me about it…."
"I did… So, how does it start?"
"How anything starts… infatuation…" Emma looked down, "But uh… that's all I let it become… ever. One nighters is all I ever do."
"Because… commitment…" She shook her head, "Never gonna happen."
"You know…" Regina started, "*I was told once that people that avoid commitment are people that know what a big thing it is…" She gave the blonde a look, "I feel that I've greatly misjudged you now that I know even this snippet…"
"Wow…" Emma was impressed with the woman before her, "You're not so bad yourself."
"Well, go on." Regina said sternly, "What are the women like?"
Emma knit her brows in thought, "They're… softer." She bit her lips, "I like 'em better than men because whether I'm topping or being topped, which, there was the one girl in Jersey that… I actually had to give two nights to because she was that… good at topping me…" She got lost in her thoughts, "She was so much better than a *7… She told me she was rated once as a seven..in front of her ass of a boss…. So much better. And I am so trailing off topic! Uh… it's good whether you're topping or being topped." Emma pounded out a small beat on the table and forced herself to stop talking.
"Have you ever had a threesome?" Regina asked.
"No… Why are you so shocked?" She gave the brunette a look, "Regina, *I'm bisexual… Do you understand what bisexual means? It doesn't mean that you have sex with two people at once…"
"Well, I know, but I figured..." She trailed off.
"I'm not a whore… You just raised me up a little bit on the ladder because of the whole avoiding commitment thing, and now, you're disappointed because I didn't have a threesome… What the hell are you drinking?"
Regina gave her a glare, "I apologize!" She raised her hands in defeat, "I can't help that I'm curious… The only people I've ever been with have not been interested in me… no matter what I do or did for them…"
Emma shook her head, "Yeah, that's just… un-fucking believable to me…."
"Why? You're hot!" She said in all in one word, one sigh really.
Regina cocked her head and raised a playful brow.
"I-I-I-I-I mean you're an attractive chick—woman… lady… An attractive woman."
Regina smiled, "Too bad you're not interested in commitment…" Regina stood and put some bills down on the counter then walked out the door.
Emma stood almost immediately after the door shut, processing what just happened and ran after her, "I'm fascinated in commitment!" Emma jogged to catch up with Regina.
"Excuse me?" Regina asked 'confused' as Leroy passed them by. After he ducked into Granny's, the brunette pulled Emma into the ally and crossed her arms, "You were saying."
Emma looked back to the sidewalk with knit brows, "I said… why did you do that? You heard me!"
"Because this is not a conversation that every person in this town should have a say in. It's a conversation that only the two of us should have, but you felt the need to run after me like this were some kind of romantic comedy, which caused me to… well, do that… So… you were saying."
"I'm not gonna be good at it… I'm gonna be really, really horrible… but I have always been fascinated with it… and like you, I've never made love and I'd like to do that before I die… And there's… something here… I mean… I know I'm not crazy. I know that there's a spark…"
Regina nodded, "Yes. There's a spark."
"I'm just saying that I'm gonna fuck up more often than I won't… especially in the beginning… but I think it's time to try committing to something… and who better than…" She trailed off and took a step back.
"Than your son's other mother?"
"But that's not why—"
"I know." Regina nodded.
"So… What now?"
"I think now would be a good time to show me a bit of that softness you were talking about…"