summary: In which Rapunzel goes from princess, to stolen princess, to daughter of a psycho-witch, to a whore. Enter, Flynn Ryder. A dangerous criminal who has no idea what just happened. One minute he's bedding a woman, the next minute she threatening him with a frying pan. Welcome to the Kingdom, where dreams really do come true.

disclaimer: the tangled franchise doesn't belong to me.

Chapter Two: "Don't Panic."

Rapunzel: I've been looking out of a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be?

Flynn: Then you'll find a new dream that'll probably be equally disappointed as the first but hey - that's life, right?

You know what she really hates? Peaches. That and the fact that her mother just left her in the care of the Six Swans the "most popular brothel in all of the Seven Kingdoms" where she'll be the "most pleasurable company" that she can be. But who's complaining - she's not complaining. Nope. Not even a little bit. She's probably jumping to conclusions too. Definitely, she is.

Except, Mother's been gone for three days and Madam Sophia said she wouldn't be coming back. Rapunzel wants to so badly go downstairs and sit by the window. That way, if Mother was lost she would see Rapunzel's face and know where to find her. Except downstairs is filled with with Sophia's "girls" and their "clients" and Rapunzel really, really doesn't want to know what's going on down there.

Well, that's a lie because she really, really does. Every new thing she sees she wants to know more about and how can she learn anything if she's cooped up upstairs? But Madam Sophia insists that someone should explain things first. But when she asked, "Explain what?" Sophia said nothing, except that Rapunzel needed new clothes. That and the "most pleasurable company" thing. Rapunzel reluctantly agreed to new clothes, even though she's perfectly fine with the few dresses she brought from home.

More than perfectly fine with, actually. The dresses Sophia bought her are lovely but she doesn't like the tight corsets or how they're all strapless with a neckline that dips way too low. And the split down the middle, covered in thin white layers of cloth make her uncomfortable. The shoes Sophia bought her are extravagant too. Rapunzel likes her old purple slip-ons, unlike her new ones, which have a million straps that wrap around her ankle.

Plus, Rapunzel knows that the silks and cottons of these dresses - with the complex beading and gold threads - were expensive. So she'd been a little shy of Sophia buying her all these things. But Sophia only looked at her curiously before saying that Rapunzel would, "Earn it all back, in time." Rapunzel wasn't - still isn't - sure what that exactly meant but shrugged it off.

And now here she is, in a beautiful red and gold dress, a busty two-days-to-eighteen blonde. Without her mother. Alone. Well, maybe not alone, alone. She knows Madam Sophia and even some of the girls. She even shares a room with one of them, Colette and on Thursday she spent the day with Scarlet and Anamaria. But it's not the same. She misses her mother. Even the idea of being able to see the lights in two days couldn't cheer her up.

Maybe... maybe after the lights, she should head back to the tower?

Yes! That's exactly what she would do. Mother would be surprised but happy, right? Mother probably thought she wanted to live in the Kingdom and after the fight they had Mother probably thought she wanted to live in the Kingdom without her. That must be it. Well, she would go back to home and show Mother that she won't leave the tower - not if it's without Mother. And Rapunzel just... won't mention the part where she waited to see the lights first. She'd been waiting for years to see them after all.

two days later.

"And that's how I lost Tweedledee and Tweedledum," Flynn laughs. His friends, Jenkins, Happy, and Flint around the table laughing with him. They'd been having drinks at the Three Stooges since he arrived in the Kingdom's capital, Caldera, three hours ago. And of course, he had the lost princesses crown in hand.

"So let me get this straight," Jenkins slurred, his hook-hand coming to rest on the table. "Ye' and them Stabbington brothers took the crown, escaped the guards, only fer ye to lose the brothers and bring the crown back to the city?"

"Yeah, that uh — that sounds about right." Flynn smirked. "I swear, I'm not going crazy. I've got a buyer lined up and everything."

"Must be real shiny, that crown," Flint said, touching his fingers to his chin. "You have it on you?"

Flynn snorted. "Right, because I'd bring something worth fifty million million jewels to a den of thieves."

Happy laughed into his mug of beer. "Aw c'mon Flynn, we ain't so bad."

"You just lifted three jewels from my pocket," Flynn deadpanned. Happy denied doing anything of the sort. Lucky for him, he was saved by the bar's doors being slammed open, revealing the brothel madam of Rosa in Viera and her girls. He recognizes most of them — which says a lot about his character — There's Scarlet, Rosetta, Mia, Ana, and - hello, a new girl?

Blonde, petite, young. Definitely looking out of place. Got that whole innocence look going for her. Eh, not really his style. He likes girls — women — like Scarlet; a lot of curves, a lot of charm, and a lot of fun. She's a redhead to boot. He's got a thing for redheads. Scarlett feels his gaze and winks at him playfully. And what can he do but give her the smolder. She laughs a little and gives him the come hither.

Well, he knows what he's doing tonight.

Except when the stumble into his room above the tavern things go a little different. As in, Scarlet stops kissing him and they're both still fully clothed. Apparently, this had all been a ruse to get him alone so she could ask him a favour. And he's okay with doing a favour for her because he likes Scarlet in an honest way, not just a whoring way (and the fact that a whore is his closest confidant says a lot about his character too). The problem isn't the asking for a favour or that she just slipped fifty jewels out of his pocket, it's what she's asking him to do.

"You want me to what?"

"Oh come on Flynnie," Scarlet drawls in a southern accent. "It's not like I'm asking anything big. It's just, this is Rapunzel - oh sorry, I mean it's Lulu's first time."

"I get that, I really do." Flynn said. "What I don't get is why you're asking me to do it?"

"You know why. These men will be all manner o' rough with her, and when I ask you to be gentle, I know you will." Scarlet pouted. "I can trust you."

"Oh no, no, no. You do not get to play the trust card. Nope. Nu-uh. Not happening."

Scarlet put her hands to her hips, eyes narrowing. "And just why the hell not? She's pretty enough, ain't she?"

"She's plenty pretty," Flynn admitted. "Except I'll be there, going down on her, thinking: is this pity sex? This feels like pity sex. And when I'm not thinking that, I'll be thinking: I'm fucking a girl whose mother sold her to a brothel five days ago. I didn't think it was possible but I might've just reached a new low."

"My mamma sold me to the Six Swans and you have no problem goin' down on me," Scarlet retorted.

"You'd been in the business three years when I met you!" Flynn cried. "Some asshole stole your innocence and corrupted you or whatever and I just -

"And you just what exactly?" Scarlet hissed.

Flynn sighed. He was going to have to do this, wasn't he? Yep, he was going to have to this.