It had been ten minutes since Soldier and Pyro went out to get the mail, and the other teammates were getting impatient.
"Sheesh. What's taking them so long," asked Scout.
"I'm honestly not surprised," replied Spy, "Considering their intelligence levels." Finally, Soldier and Pyro ran into the mess hall and stopped to catch their breath.
"Well, there you are, fellas," Engineer said, "Where you been all this time?" Soldier was nearly out of breath, but answered anyway.
"Mail…crate…lion…attacked…ran…screamed…here," he said.
"So," Medic began, "You went outside to retrieve the mail, found a crate with a lion inside of it, which attacked you, so you ran away and screamed, and now you're here?" Soldier just nodded. Pyro mumbled something and the team burst into laughter.
"A talking lion, eh, Pyro," Demo asked jokingly, "Are you sure the fumes from that mask haven't gone to your head, lad?"
"Look, I'm sure ya'll were just half-asleep and dreamed this," Engineer stated, "But if you want, we can all go out and take a look together."
"Anything to get you maggots to believe us," Soldier replied. The other six mercenaries reluctantly followed the men out of the mess hall and to the mailbox, where the crate lay baking in the sun.
"There it is," Soldier declared, "Approach with caution."
"It can't be that bad," Spy remarked, "Let me take a look." He walked to the crate, looked inside, and let out a terrifying scream.
"What is it, Spy," asked Heavy, genuinely worried.
"It's absolutely terrible," Spy shrieked, "It's inhuman! It's…It's…EMPTY!" Spy turned the crate so everyone could see the inside and began laughing, the other teammates joining him.
"The reason it's empty," Soldier said in a slightly annoyed tone, "is because the lion jumped out of the crate when it attacked us."
"Well, where is it now," asked Scout.
"In the back of their imaginations," Spy joked, "that's where." The team laughed again. Unnoticed by the others, Heavy had stopped laughing, and looked towards a rock about 15 feet away.
"What's wrong, Heavy," asked Sniper.
"I thought I heard something," he replied.
"It was probably nothing," said Engie, "Come on, let's head back and finish breakfast." The mercenaries began to follow the Texan, all except for Heavy, who began walking toward the rock. As he approached the rock, he heard the sound again, this time more clearly.
"Who is there," he asked. After receiving no answer, Heavy slowly peeked behind the rock, his eyes widened in surprise as a large furry object came into view. Suddenly, there was a loud roar and a blur of movement. The other mercenaries, hearing the roar, turned toward the rock where it came from.
"What the heck was that," asked Scout.
"That was the lion we were telling you about," Soldier replied, "I think it got Heavy!"
"Come on," shouted Demoman, "There's no time to lose! We've got to make sure he's okay!" The eight mercenaries ran to the rock and found an interesting sight. Heavy was holding a full-grown lion by its neck, about a foot off the ground.
"I would prefer that you did not do that," Heavy said to it.
"Back of our imaginations, huh," Soldier said, elbowing Spy.
"Put him down, Heavy," Medic commanded, "You're hurting him." Heavy dropped the lion onto the ground and watched as it coughed, trying to regain its breath.
"So this lion can talk, huh," Scout said sarcastically. Pyro nodded. He knew what he heard.
"Well, then," Scout continued, "let's see if he'll talk now." Scout got down on one knee in front of the lion, who was sitting upright.
"Yo, Simba," Scout began, not realizing the significance of the name, "What year did Shakespeare write Hamlet?"
"I don't know," the lion replied, much to the surprise of the others, except Scout, "And how did you know my name?"
"See," Scout said, standing and turning to face the team, "This lion is way too dumb to- HOLY CRAP!" Scout jumped away from the lion in surprise after realizing what he just heard.
"D-did anyone else just hear that," he asked, his voice shaking slightly. The others nodded. The next few minutes consisted of silence and awkward staring until Simba finally spoke up.
"So," he said casually, "You guys mind telling me where I am?"
"Yeah, sure," Soldier replied in a suspicious tone, "As soon as you tell us how you got here."
"How I got here, huh? Hm, where to begin?"