Title: A Day in Cardiff (1/5)

Author: iantojjackh

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Follow up to A Day in Glasgow. Jack returns to Cardiff two years after Ianto's death with his and Ianto's son and finds that people are not happy to see him. Will they believe him about where the child came from?

Characters: Jack, Gwen, Rhys, Rhiannon

Pairings: Jack/Ianto (past), Gwen/Rhys

Word Count: 785

Spoilers: CoE compliant, but MD never happened

Warning: Angst and grief

Beta: SoR who still betas stuff for me on occasion even if he's never watched an episode of TW

Notes: Written for the Grief prompt athc_bingo.

A Day in Cardiff

Chapter 1: Jack, Ianto and Ianto

Jack spent the first hour crying, unable to speak. All the emotion he had kept bottled up spilled over into a torrent of tears. The young toddler fussed in his arms the entire time, feeling his father's distress.

"Dada," the small boy reached out for Jack's hand and buried his face into his father's armpit.

"I'm so sorry, Ianto," the words barely came out through cracked emotion. "I'm sorry it took me two years to come back." Two years to the day. "I thought staying away would make it hurt less, but it hasn't. I miss you so much. So very, very much. I never thought I could miss someone this much. Just listen to me babble on like some idiot whose gone soft. I can just see you rolling your eyes at me," Jack reached his free hand out to touch the cold marble gravestone.

"I never got to tell you that I love you. Being around as long as I have I thought not saying those words made it easier when itcame time to say goodbye, but not with you. It made it much worse. I really meant it when I said I could never forget you. Because you touched me in a way no one else ever has or ever will. I've come across many species that believed in soul mates, though they all had different names for it. I always laughed at the idea of it. I mean, seriously, one soul out there in this vast world meant for only you. Sounds ridiculous, right? Then I lost you and it didn't sound so crazy." Jack looked around to make sure no one was able to hear him.

"Don't you look at me like that. You look like him," Jack looked at his son who giggled and made a funny face. The child began to entertain himself with a small toy and Jack turned his attention back to his soul mate's grave.

"There was a short time I considered retconning myself to forget you so I would not have to feel the emptiness that I felt every day you were not here. The pain...it was so bad that I was willing to forget the greatest love of my life. It took losing you to see that's what you were...what you are. Killing myself is not an option, but then two months after everything I found a reason to live again. No, it's not what you are thinking. You always thought I was joking that I could get pregnant. Stop rolling your eyes. I can feel you rolling them. Ianto, I want you to meet my...your...our son. That's right...OUR SON, Ianto. He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Jack paused to catch his breath and marvel at the most amazing and precious thing he had ever known: his son who was playing with the buttons on his greatcoat.

"Good thing we told Rhys we'd look after the beans, huh? I named him after you and he looks nothing like me. He's all you. It's only a matter of time before he starts yelling at me for making the coffee wrong. I think he's got your eye roll down already. You'd be so amazed by him. I sure am. This is the first time I'm doing this, the parenting thing all the way. It's just going to be me and him. I really don't know what to say to your sister. Do I say anything at all? I don't even know if you told her about us. Somehow I think going up to her and telling her I'm in love with your brother and this is our son will get me knocked out for sure."

Jack saw little Ianto was starting to fuss uncontrollably and he had to wrap up this visit soon. "The little one is starting to get restless, but he is going to know who you are. Once he is old enough to understand I'm going to tell him the life story of Ianto Jones. Keeping it safe for a child's ears. He doesn't need to know about our kinkier side." Jack slowly stood up and looked up at the clear sky, "If you are up there, looking down, I hope that I'm making you proud of us. I love you. Always will." Without a further word, Jack left the cemetery and headed back to his car...well Ianto's old car where he would drive to Ianto's old flat where he had been staying the last week since his return to Cardiff. He put on a pair of shades to cover the fact he had spent the better part of an hour and half crying.