Brian:Almost done, miss.
Woman:Thank much will this cost?
Brian:Cost? I hadn't thought of any payment...
Nix:[thinking]Brian, get her to give you some parts!
Brian:[thinking]Nix, that wouldn't be fair. Besides, we'll have plenty parts when we get to junkyard.
Nix:[thinking]But we need some special parts!! noooo faiiiirrr!!!
Woman:Uh..sir? *waves hand in his face*
Brian:Oh, sorry...don't worry about payment, miss.
Woman:But I insist..
(A loud crash is heard outside, followed by screaming)
Brian:What the hell?? Stay in here, Nix! I'm gonna check it out!
(Brian runs outside to see an 18-wheeler and its trailer jackknifed into a small building. Two red-eyed figures climb out of the cab, carrying rather menacing-looking guns. More 18-wheelers and an ATV follow behind, and 3 more members emerge, firing at the red-eyed people. One is a psycher, and another a purple-robed doomsayer.)
Brian:Once again, What the hell??
Psycher:Nevermind that!! Do you have any guns?
Brian:A few..why?
Psycher:Good! Can anyone else here shoot?
(A girl in a floppy hat and wrapped in a blanket steps out)
Girl:I suppose I can..
Psycher:Good! You!
(points to Brian)hand her one of yours!
(passes her a rather large machine gun)I assume we shoot the red-eyed couple?
(The doomsayer's hand starts to glow)
Brian:This seems a bit sudden, but....*sighs*
(Brian quick-draws his machine gun and fires at the male assailant)
(He blows off his hand and the gun along with it)
(The red-eyes female lifts up her gun and aims for the girl)
(She fires, but the girl Dodges just in time)
(The Psycher pulls his hand toward him, and the red-eyed woman's ribcage flies out of her chest)
Doomsayer:(pumps his arm and points to the remaining one)
(he lets a massive ball of energy fly towards the other attacker, only to miss and hit the building behind him, obliterating it completely)
(the girl recovers from her dodge and fires at the attacker)
(The bullets literally rip him in half)
Psycher:Damn! Where did ya learn to shoot?
(looks at the ribcage in his hand and shudders)
Doomsayer:(claps for them all halfheartedly, then motions toward the devastation that surrounds them. Then he rushes to assist the two they were just fighting)
Brian:Wait..aren't they the bad guys?
Psycher:Ya, well, only sometimes..I'll explain later.
Doomsayer:(looks around. looks at the psyker and gestures again)
Psycher:well, seeing as how ya destroyed half the town with yer goddamn nuke, maybe you should clean it up! Were ya planning on disintegrating him?
(the two open their eyes and moan, they're no longer red-eyed)
(walks up to the possessee and hands her her ribcage)i think this is yours.
(Ruth falls unconscious again)
Girl:(walks up to the guy as he wakes up)I'm really sorry!!
Psycher:That's the last time we're ever letting ya drive again, Will..
Doomsayer:(shrugs and gives a thumbs up, then the "o.k." sign)
Brian:Except that the town is in ruins and a quarter of the populace is dead.
Psycher:And our semi's on it's side! How're we supposed to get it back up?
Brian:I think I have a solution..But first, who exactly are all of you?
Psycher:oh, yeah..i'm Jake Hellcat. The guy in the Tinkie-Winkie costume is Raivyn.
Raivyn:(flips jake off, then points to the symbol on his robe. it's an alpha and omega superimposed on flame--the symbol of the doomsayers, a mystical group of radiation magicians)
Jake:anyways, we're here with Ruth, a templar, Will, our leader, and The midnight Judge. He's back in the semi.
Will:(trying to reassemble himself)Wait, why am i the leader?
Jake:'cause ya assume the responsibility of everything bad that happens to us! and it's usually yer fault, too...*looks around the city*well, actually, most of this's raivyn's fault. But I don't know what else to call ya, so yer still the leader.
Will:I don't see the logic in that...wait, where's my hand?
Brian:That's sort of my fault..
Jake:Besides, there's a bunch of dead guys here..ya could get one offa one of them..
Will:I am NOT a cannibal!!
Jake:Who are you two then?
Brian:My name's Brian.
Girl:I'm Amy.
Brian:[thinking]Nix, it's safe to come out now.
Nix:(walks out, then looks at Amy)
(Stares angrily, because amy's looking at brian)[thinking] that thing??
Brian:[thinking]What, are you jealous?
(Nix stares at him, then back at amy)
Amy:errr..what's her problem?
Brian:She's a bit jealous..I don't understand why.
Jake:why does she follow you?
Brian:she's my familiar..By the way, where are you guys headed?
Will:(by now, him and ruth have pieced themselves together)We're not quite sure. Why do you ask?
Brian:I've got a hunch you guys need all the help you can get.
Amy:Mind if i tag along too?
Will:Err...i guess you guys can come...if you don't mind riding in the back of a semi.
Brian:don't worry, i've got a cesna. It's pretty well fueled, too, assuming one of you didn't blow it up.
Jake:didn't you say you could help get the semi upright?
Brian:right...i'll get on it. you guys get everything you need from this town.
(they go about their business--in a deserted town. Brian builds a huge device. Eventually, they are gathered up around it)
Brian:It's finished! Isn't it beautiful?
Jake:looks like a crane.
Brian:but it's more than that! it's got life, and feeling!
Ruth:that's actually sorta scary...
Brian:it's alright, baby..don't listen to them..they don't understand.
Ruth:that's even more creepy.
(he turns the machine on)Live!!....sorry, i had to make it sound dramatic.
Will:you've already sucked every bit of drama out of it..
(the machine starts, and flips the semi on its own)
(It then continues to repair the town--a rather amazing feat for a crane)
Ruth:that is a rather amazing machine, actually..
Brian:It's too bad I have to leave it behind..
Jake:now what was the use of this episode again?
Brian:it's to establish my role as a misunderstood genius and to prove my awesome abilities..Isn't that obvious?
Amy:(nix is still staring at her)why will that thing not stop looking at me??
Brian:Hey! Nix is as much of a person as you are! and she says you're staring at me.
Amy:Well, err....
Brian:What is it? do i have a grease stain on my coat?
Jake:yer clueless, aren't ya?
Brian:what do you mean?
Jake:ya call yerself a genius, and ya can't even tell when a girl likes ya!
Brian:oh...anyways, haven't we been talking long enough? Shouldn't we be going?
(thwaps Brian) That's not how you react when a girl likes you?
Brian:then what do i do?
Jake:Ya...don't..know? YA BE HER BOYFRIEND, YA BRAINER!
Brian:oh..okay..let's get jet's over this way, i'll follow you guys.
Will:how about I go with you? If me and ruth get possessed again, it'll be better if we're seperated.
Ruth:(elbows him)let brian and amy be alone!
Brian:sure, will. it's over this way.
(will, brian, nix, and amy leave for the plane)
Jake:wait a minute...
Raivyn:(feigns giggly-girl love, then points to brian)
Jake:and he ignores her....
Raivyn:(shrugs, and does the impersonation again)
Jake:that's not fair!! why can't we get girls like that?
Raivyn:(points at ruth)
Jake:are you kidding? she's a templar...she's married to the greater powers.
Jake:Trust me..
(jake, raivyn, and ruth head out to the semis) Next