A/N: I couldn't get this idea out of my head. It's based on an AU where Orochimaru found immortality and became the Juubi Jinchuuriki, but everyone else in the world died. I chose Orochimaru because… um… I think I read an Orochimaru Peggy-Sue, recently…
"Orochimaru!" A woman's voice, tinged with worry. Really, she was closer to a girl, but that wasn't the problem right now.
Orochimaru groaned and sat up, rubbing the back of his head. He looked down at himself.
Okay, so he was in his own body. The person worrying about him was Tsunade, and the two of them and Jiraiya, who was standing a few feet away, looked to be in their teens.
That meant he'd done what he'd meant too and successfully travelled some three hundred and fifty years back in time. Now he could fix his mistakes.
Hey, you spend three hundred years alone after killing off the world's human and becoming the Juubi Jinchuuriki, and you might start doubting your decisions too.
"You alright, Oro?" Jiraiya asked, trying to look disinterested.
"I… yeah, I am." Orochimaru smiled, and tried to stand. He seemed fine, if a little unused to his body, but he'd changed bodies enough times for this to be a minor annoyance. Of course, the latter bodies were almost all soulless clones of his own body.
"Ahem." A cough came from somewhere behind him, and he turned to see a very unusual sight.
A man with dark skin and hair was sitting behind a desk. That may seem fairly innocuous to you, but there were several things dreadfully wrong with that.
Firstly, almost all dark-skinned people were natives to Rai no Kuni, especially concentrated in Kumogakure, which was not currently in an alliance with Konoha, making the man's presence there questionable. The fact that his skin was a darker brown than even that of most Kumo-nin was to be ignored.
Second, his hair was in dreadlocks, one of which was the color of cream. Orochimaru, odd as he was, had retained the fact that dreadlocks wouldn't come into vogue for another thirty or so years, if he'd identified the time he'd landed in correctly.
Third, the man was wearing a business suit, and the desk that he was sitting behind looked like it was extremely expensive; probably mahogany, Orochimaru thought.
The third thing that was dreadfully wrong, if you look up above, was wrong because they were in a training ground, which made the man and his desk look extremely out of place.
"Orochimaru-san?" The man beckoned the snake Sannin forward.
"What?" He asked, caution in every step he took.
"Relax, I won't bite. I just need you to fill out a few forms." The man held out a clipboard and pen—not a scroll and brush, Orochimaru noticed—to him, which he took. Might as well humor him, right?
He looked down and while nothing seemed odd for the first few lines, Orochimaru's eyes bugged out partway down the page.
Date of Birth:
Place of Birth:
Other Identifiable Features:
Reason for Time Travel:
Period of Time Travel (from when to when):
Was your Time Travel a Mental or Physical Trip?
Is there a possibility that you will be involved in a Groundhog Day Loop?
The list went on and on.
He looked up. "You're s****ing me."
"Listen, I hate this just as much as you do. It means more work for me. Unfortunately, I need to do this anyway. Do you want me to have you deported?"
Orochimaru blanched. Tsunade and Jiraiya were looking lost and not just a little angry.
"Orochimaru, what is going on here?" Tsunade hissed, hands balling into fists.
"He needs to fill out a few forms if he wants his recent time travel to be legal." The man said.
Tsunade glared at him. "And just who are you?"
"I'm Agent Moonstone of the Phoenix Corporation. You could call me the avatar of Time and Space, I suppose. Now, if we could get back to the passport?"
"What do you mean," Orochimaru asked hesitantly, "By deportation?"
"I would be reversing the time travel and dumping you back in the time period you came from. Your possibility of getting ahold of another chance at time travel would be set on hiatus for approximately ten years. I would suggest just filling out the paperwork."
Orochimaru stared for a few seconds, and then just sighed and sat down. "If this is what's necessary…"
"Good man. You two," Moonstone pointed to Jiraiya and Tsunade, pulling out some more papers. "Since you know about the time travel now and were present at the point from which he came back, you're going to have to fill out a few forms too."
An hour later—one during which they went suspiciously undisturbed—all the paperwork was finished. Jiraiya and Tsunade had been fidgety and more than a little disturbed about the whole thing, but they put up with it.
"Well, that's it for the paperwork. Here are several pamphlets and brochures to ensure you know what you're doing." He nodded and stood, and a portal appeared beneath him, the desk sucked down in an instant. He threw a few tied-together folded-up papers to their feet. "Well, I have a wizard or two to go help out with botched Apparition-turned-time-warp, so I suppose it's time to say goodbye."
An instant later, he was gone.
The three ninja looked down at their feet, and quickly untied the parcel.
Time-Travel for Dummies
Dealing with the Groundhog Day Loop
Do You Really Want to Bring Back Their Memories?
Dealing with the Not-Yet-Dead
Closed-Loops (This one had a tag that said: Not Recommended)
Your Best Friend Just Came Back in Time. Now What?
Who to Tell
Your Local Theocracy (Edition N: Kami, Shinigami, and Jashin) (There was another tag on this one, advising them to get in contact as soon as possible with them to prevent Armageddon from occurring the way it almost had before)
Morality Issues in Romance
They stared at the papers, and then each other.
"Looks like there's a lot of reading to do."
A/N: The time-travelers never tell you this because it's boring. Who wants to talk about the paperwork they had to go through? Moonstone does this every time someone travels through time or across dimensions without it being canon or administered by the Phoenix Corporation itself.