Welcome Back! It's Thursday – so here is the next chapter. I hope it lives up to your standards!
A special XOXO goes out to my SunflowerFran for her Beta skills and to my Joey for pre-readers. And also to all of you who have added me to your fav's or alerts – and the reviews …I mad love them!
Let's see what Pedalward has to say shall we?
chapter song - The Civil Wars - Poison and Wine
In that moment, I see so many emotions flowing through her eyes. Passion, compassion, fury, hurt, anger …you name them, I see them.
She takes off down the stairs. I'm stunned for just a moment when the words left her mouth, telling me that she was done and not to bother.
Oh, I'm going to bother. I refuse to let her slip away from me again. After having Bella, I honestly don't think that I would be able to live without her. Living without her when I didn't think I would ever see her again was hard. But now that I have her, it would torture to be without.
With that thought alone, I push myself down the stairs. I hope I can catch her before she hits the door.
"Bella!" I yell, my voice echoing off the walls. Not only are my footsteps making noise, but I hear her heels clicking against the rough exterior of the stairs. I can tell I am gaining on her, because her clicks are becoming louder. At this point, I'm thankful as hell that she has on those death contraptions.
"Would you wait a minute, you're drawing conclusions," I yell again as I see her round the last set of stairs at the bottom. Taking a quick jump I happen to land right behind her. I reach out my hand, gently grab her arm, and spin her around to face me.
"Listen, you're blowing this out of …" I was going to say context but she cuts me off. Her face is raging with anger and her chest is heaving.
"Oh, I'm blowing this out of proportion? How dare you Edward Cullen. How. Fucking. Dare. You!" she yells as she jabs her finger into my chest over and over with each word. She's also struggling against my hold but I refuse to let her go.
"Can you just listen for …" Once again I'm cut off by her mouth blowing a gasket. I notice Ms. Weatherford poking her head out her door and I carefully throw her a wink to let her know that everything is perfectly fine. When I turn my attention back to Bella, it seems as if she's been rambling this entire time and I haven't been listening. If I could just get her to shut up for a moment, she would see how ridiculous she's being.
"…and let me go, Edward. You don't deserve me, I was coming over here to surprise you …" she is throwing her unrestrained hand around like this is going to prove that her null and void point, might somehow be valid.
Fuck this shit! I've had enough! Time for drastic measures.
I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder. I've had enough of our dirty laundry aired out in the open like a small village in Italy for everyone to see. She's screaming like a wild banshee while I start making my way up the flight of stairs to my apartment.
"You need to calm down," I say over her as she starts smacking my ass. I can't help but laugh because it really feels like a mosquito bite. If she really thought she was going to do damage, she is sadly mistaken.
"Put me down, right this instant. This is barbaric, you overgrown Neanderthal. How dare you." She breathes out as I quickly jog up the remaining stairs.
I push open my door and I deposit her crazy ass on the ground. But unfortunately for me, she's a charging bull on crack.
"You're an asshole, you cheating fucker!" She seethes at me as I try to move out the way of her swinging arms.
I quickly reach behind me and grab a throw pillow. "This is a misunderstanding, babe." I try to explain as she swings at the pillow.
"Oh, of course, I'm the bat-shit crazy one that didn't notice a super twat coming out of your apartment and then give you a hug that you so graciously gave back to her with feeling. Men don't do that, and women sure as fuck don't either. We give those dainty hugs with the tips of our fingers." She continues the onslaught. I'm starting to feel bad for the pillow.
What did the pillow ever do to her?
"If you would shut the hell up and let me explain, I would tell you that was Charlotte." I lower the pillow only to see a high heel flying at me.
"Ohhhh, so the girl with bad shoes has a name, huh? I don't give two shits if her name was Ruby Slippers or Virginia Ham. She was touching what was mine and you let her. You let her touch you when you have barely touched me, Edward. She touched my man-sausage that I've barely been able to. I mean come on. I show up here after your mystery text, which took a group of Google-whores to figure out what it meant. Then when they do, I had to hear it from them that you love me. And that's another thing; you're fucking secretive about everything, and it is driving me up the wall."
She takes a deep breath, actually a few of them, and I am pretty sure she needs it after that whole stream of words that I swear she did in one breath.
"I cannot believe I ever fell for you, Edward." She stops throwing useless punches to the pillow, and I hear a sniffle, "To think that I was going to come over here and give you the privilege of saying I love you to your face."
She shakes her head. "But, that's not enough is it. I was never enough. I told you …if things were getting too hard to tell me. But instead, I get a wake-up call right smack in my face." She spins and turns towards me. "I know I'm a hard person to love, Edward. I know it. I can't help it. Everyone I have ever loved has betrayed me in some way or another, and I thought you were different. I thought that we had something special - different." She turns away with tears streaming down her face.
"Would you listen to me, Bella? There is no mystery woman, dammit." I take a deep breath. "You know how you said that I should take my talent and explore my options? Make people see what I can do behind a lens?" I ask as I step closer dropping the pillow.
"Yeah, what about it?" she says looking right at me.
"That 'super twat' lady was Charlotte, the owner of an art gallery. The person who's taken an interest in me and my work, the one who's going to give me a break. They don't even really showcase photography at her gallery, but they are taking a chance on me." I move a little closer until I'm standing in front of her. I reach out and take her face in mine.
"So, if you would have just shut that pretty, little mouth of yours and let me explain the situation, we wouldn't be having this conversation." I kiss the side of her mouth as I feel her push me away a little. I let out a frustrated sigh when she grabs my shirt.
"Why didn't you tell me? Wouldn't that be something you would want to share with someone you love?" She sniffs again and I hug her.
"Just take a look around my place, Bella. What the hell do you see? You are a part of it – a huge part of it." I let her go and stand behind her.
I watch as her body shakes as she walks around. She's only looking at the certain pictures that I've recently taken of her. Her hand comes to her mouth as she looks over at the recent ones that I just had framed that day. She's seen some of them – but the others – she hasn't.
"You can't be serious?" She takes her finger and touches the last one. Of course, there isn't any on display that I had from high school, and I'm scared shitless on how to bring that up. I know I need to come clean and let her know, but the fact that I could have easily lost her tonight over a misunderstanding, allows me to dig a deeper and deeper hole. One I'm trying desperately to get out of.
"I am," I whisper.
"Edward …I have no words ... I love you." She turns and quickly walks over to me, throwing her hands around my neck. She kisses me roughly and I gladly accept it.
"I love you, too. So much …you really have no clue how long I've waited to tell you." I mumble in between kisses.
I'm tired of waiting; I'm tired of fighting it. I know I need to come clean, but my heart isn't letting me. My body is overriding what I need to tell her. My head is screaming at me that this isn't right – I need to stop – but my heart is taking what it wants. What I've needed for so long.
Her kisses move to my neck, and I involuntarily moan at the sensation.
"I need you in more ways than one, Bella." I breathe out as I reach down and pick her up by her legs. They instantly wrap around me tightly as I carry her over to my bed. Luckily it's not far away from where we were standing because the need I have for her, to be with her, I can't stop.
I place her on the bed, and my nerves rise to the surface. This could honestly be a make it or break it moment. She always had my heart, but her actually wanting mine in return, is something only happens in movies.
"Bella," I say quietly as I sit her up and quickly pull off her shirt. I want to savor this moment for as long as I can, but for right now, instincts are taking over. Throwing her shirt to the floor, I run my fingers through her hair and kiss her roughly as I move my hands down her back, unhooking her bra. My hands move up to the straps and I pull them over her shoulders. Stepping back, I hook my finger in the front of it and pull it away, leaving her sitting there with nothing on but her jeans.
I stand her up and make try to make quick work of them, but they get stuck at her knees. I hear a soft chuckle, and I laugh along with her as I push her back on to the bed, cover her body with mine, and kiss every inch of skin I see.
"Stop it, you're ruining the moment." I say, still laughing at the situation. I stand back up and reach down and try to remove her jeans again. Whoever invented 'skinny jeans' didn't take into account how hard you have to work for it. I tug the damn things down her legs, turning them inside out.
"Did you put these damn jeans on with Vaseline?" The jeans make a thud against the floor as she sits up, her fingers quickly unbuttoning my button fly jeans, shoving down my boxers along with them in the process. I get rid my shirt quickly.
I hear her whimper just before I feel her hands on my length. The involuntary moan isn't a quiet one as I feel myself thrust into her hand. I watch her as she leans back, letting go of my hardened cock, and pulls off her own underwear throwing them haphazardly in the room.
I hover over her body, reveling in being in the one spot I had only dreamed of before.
"Fuck Bella …so perfect …" I'm at a loss of words, but the mantra that keeps chanting in my head is that this is the one moment that I've waited for. I know I wanted it to be perfect, but I'm taking this chance and running with it.
Her hands leave my shoulders and I see her make a pretend camera with her fingers, making a clicking noise with her tongue.
"What the hell are you doing?" I ask, laughing as I press her further into the mattress with my body. My cock is yelling at me to just push into the Holy Grail when I feel her laugh underneath me.
"You can have your pictures Edward …but I can't have my own mental photo album?" She does it again and I smile and crash my lips roughly into hers. There's no more kidding and mental photo sessions, as our kisses are heated as well as the rest of our bodies. I roll over, resting my weight on my forearm memorizing every inch of her, as my fingers skim over her body and finally coming in contact with her pussy. I make slow, deliberate stokes with them moving down and up, using a little more pressure when I hit her clit, over and over.
"I swear to god, Edward. If you don't do something right this instant, I'm going to scream." She grinds against my hand harder and I feel her hand reach out and grab a hold of me, which in turn makes me thrust into her hand.
"Fuck, Bella …you just have no idea how long I have waited for his," I say quietly.
"Ditto, Edward. Give it to me, now."
When her rushed words spit out, I know she's becoming as impatient as I am. I slam two fingers deep inside of her. Feeling her pussy clamp down on them sends me into overdrive. Curling my fingers, trying to hit the one spot that makes her fall over the edge quickly, and when I do, the sounds that tumble from her lips make this even harder. The need to be inside her deepens as my fingers try to work her over until she falls. Of course, I've seen it multiple times when we've messed around, but fuck …this is different. I know it's going to be like I'm a virgin all over again.
"More, Edward," she moans out, as I feel her hand's pressure and pace quicken on my cock. I reach down, pull her hand away, and move to my nightstand. I pull the drawer open and grab the condom, quickly tearing at the perforated edge.
I hear the Jeopardy theme song being hummed, and when I look over at her she's propped up on one elbow, as the other hand is working her pussy slowly, and dipping into where I want to be. My eyes can't pull away from the sight in front of me as I see her pull her fingers out and her eyes pop open.
"Times up, Edward." And with that sly, little smile playing on her lips, I slide the condom on and hover over her. I kiss her as I rest my aching cock at her entrance.
"What's your final answer?" She looks deep into my eyes and I do hers. I see her hand moving out of the corner of my eye. She brings her two fingers, the ones that are still glistening with her moisture, up to my mouth as I suck them in as I slide my cock into her.
I moan around her fingers, feeling her heat engulf me and the taste of her on my tongue. My senses are going crazy as I pull back and let go of her fingers.
"I love you, Bella," I grit out as I slam back into her.
Her answering moan is all I need to keep going.
"Love …you …too," she moans out with every thrust my make.
Her legs come up and wrap around me pulling me closer, which in turn makes me drive deeper into her.
"You have no idea …how long …I've wanted you …" I gasp, trying to put my mind someplace different. But the constant feel of her pussy surrounding me, squeezing and pulling my cock into her further, makes that impossible.
"Oh, Edward, less talking, more fucking," She commands. Her hands reach up and pull my hair which causes my head to be pulled back. I feel her body move, changing the position as her tongue then traces over my Adam's apple then bites down gently on it.
"Fuck," I cry out. I take her legs that have a death grip around my waist, and throw one over my shoulder. I position myself up a little further over her, driving into her harder.
"Yeah, don't move," she pants, and I stop, but then realize she's not really telling me to stop, so I pick it back up again. I watch my cock move in and out of her, but I have to quickly look away as it's too much to handle.
The way my dick glistens from her arousal, and knowing it's me making her that wet, it's about to send me over the edge.
"You like it?" I have to know for sure. I don't want to disappoint her.
"Yes." Her voice carries out in a long sigh as I feel her pussy start to pulse. The movement is about to take me with her down with her.
"Come, Bella. Let go" My voice strains as I try to push her to that point. When she finally lets go, nails dig into my back and it's a relished feeling. It hurts, but that's beside the point. I slow my movements, not only to let her come down, but to keep me from getting off.
She's panting; her flesh is heated with a pink hue. And I realize that I don't know if there was ever a moment I can recall, that would even come close to what I imagined would be like. Of what it would feel like, emotionally, physically and even spiritually, to have her this way.
When I take her leg and lower it, I hear her sigh as she reaches up and cradles my face in her hands. I'm still moving in and out of her slowly, my thighs are burning but I'm not stopping.
"So good, babe." She kisses me quickly before throwing herself back down on the bed, her feet planted next to my knees. I feel her hips lift up and circle around in tight circles. I sit back on my knees and pull her with me, holding her body close to me as she works my cock over the way she wants to.
"Dammit," I grit out as her pace quickens, "Bella … if you …keep going, I'm not …going to hold on." I try to place my mind somewhere else again. Suddenly, she sits up and it causes my cock to slip out from her. She pushes me back, and I land on the bed, and she crawls up over me and kisses me.
"Let me make you feel good," she says quietly. Her legs straddle me and her hand reaches down, only to place my aching dick at her entrance. She slowly sinks down on me, and I grab her hips to still her. I want to feel my cock take her, inch by inch, to feel myself deep inside of her.
"Mmmm, fuck." The words fall from her mouth as I feel her rise up and sink back down on me. My cock feels like it could explode at any moment, and I suck a deep breath in through my teeth, as she keeps repeating the movement over and over again.
Her nails dig into my chest as she starts to rock back and forth. "Yes, so good." she whimpers out.
"Bella." Her name falls from my lips as I pick her ass up a little bit. I bend my knees and start to thrust up into her quickly. Falling forward onto me, it changes the angle again, and I know for certain that I won't be able to hold out this time.
"Dammit give it to me," she whimpers again, and I use all my remaining strength to give her what she wants.
The burning in my thighs, as well as the pull from inside me, lets me know that I've only got a few seconds left before I come.
"Come, Bella," I grit out, slamming my cock into her harder. When I feel the flood of her pleasure come rushing over my cock, I lose it.
"Fuck," my voice screeches, as I finally give in to my own pleasure, feeling her pussy milk me dry.
"So good, baby," she whispers, her body limp over mine.
I'm completely out of breath, so I nod. I know she can't see me, so I hold her tighter.
"I love you," She says, and I smile. Those words falling from her lips are better than this whole thing. I never would have thought in a million years that Bella Swan would love me. But she does, and I'm relishing the fact.
"Love you, too." She giggles and sits up to move off of me.
"Give me two minutes," I say, kissing her quickly as I move to the bathroom to pull off the condom and clean up.
A few minutes later, I come out and see Bella lying peacefully on my bed. Her body is still shining with the sweat from our romp in the sheets. I want to capture it as I see her blissed-out, with her eyes shut, fingering her necklace.
I move to the coffee table, pick up my camera, turning it on and fixing the lens. Guessing she hears the flash open, "Edward Cullen, you wouldn't dare." She laughs. I raise an eyebrow silently asking permission. She nods, but tells me that I can't have her face in the pictures. I wasn't planning on it, but I'm not passing up this moment, thanking god above that she's letting me.
. . . . .
I'm in dire need of something to drink as I slowly wake up and look over at the alarm clock.
Holy shit, it's ten forty.
I turn my face to look at Bella, but I find rumpled sheets. She isn't there. I sit up and look around the apartment and I see her standing with a coffee in hand staring at one of her pictures.
"Morning," my rough, scratchy, morning voice speaks out.
She looks at me brightly, already dressed for the day, but not wearing what she was last night.
"Hey babe." She walks over to me and places a quick kiss to my lips. She walks to the kitchen area and brings back a coffee for me.
"Drink up; we have work to do today." She smiles as I thank her for the goodness in a cup.
"When did you get changed? I didn't see a bag with you last night." I ask as she smiles.
"I woke up early while you were still conked out. I decided to cab it back to my place, shower and get changed. I wanted a coffee, so I got you one too," She says turning her attention back to the pictures. "When is the show?" she asks.
"Three weeks," I stutter out, quickly swallowing my coffee.
"Holy shit," she screeches. "Why so soon? Shouldn't they give you a little time to be able to prepare for the showing? That's honestly pushing it." She looks around. "You have a lot of work to do. This clearly isn't enough." She shakes her head.
"Trust me, it's fine." I try to reassure her.
She takes a look around. "Is this all of them?"
I shake my head. I know the truth is about to be laid out, but I'm still scared shitless.
"Oh, well okay. How many more do you have? Are they stored?" she asks.
"You can say that." I take a deep breath, and it's on the tip of my tongue. I just need to spit it out.
"Well, I still think you need more." She walks over to me and has a playful glint in her eyes. "Since these are of me, and it's a beautiful morning out, let's get some more for you. I can be a model you know."
I smile and laugh, shaking my head as she swings her hair around and gives me a pouty face. "Those are mostly all pictures of you when you didn't know I was taking them. I don't like poses. I like to capture the moment." I point to one in particular and she turns to see what I am talking about.
"Okay, so no posey – posey stuff." She laughs and leans in, her hands resting on my sheet covered thighs.
"You know, since I'm your 'subject' I think there are fitting words to this situation, and for a thank you… …you should sing to me." She smiles playfully.
"I love you, but I'm not singing to you." I shake my head.
"You've done it before." She chuckles, "So I think you should do it again."
"Nope, that was a once in a life time thing." I look up at her.
"Oh, so you sang to me to get into my skinnies, huh?" She pushes me back onto the bed and straddles me.
"Nope, it was the moment." My hands run up and down her thighs slowly.
"But Edward, it's so fitting." She looks at me and pouts.
"I swear, you're a human karaoke machine. You have a song for everything."
She clears her throat, "You're the meaning in my life. You're the inspiration. You bring feeling to my life, you're the inspiration. Wanna have you near me …" I cut short her horrible rendition of one of Chicago's greatest hits with my lips.
"Just stop." I kiss her again.
"You just messed up my jam." She fake-pouts crossing her arms over her chest.
"Thank god for that." I laugh and sit back up. "I need to shower." I reach over and grab my coffee as she slides off my lap.
I stand, stretching, feeling her eyes roam all over me. "You know, if you would have waited, we could have showered together. But no, not Bella …the overachiever she is." I smirk as I take off to the bathroom, only to feel a pillow hit my back.
"Douche," she yells, and I laugh.
. . . . .
Lying in bed that night after a long day, I can't turn off the thoughts in my head. We had a great day laughing and playing around, my camera constantly up and snapping pictures whenever the need arose.
I turn and look at Bella sleeping with her hair spread across the pillow, and a cute little pout adorning her face. I reach over touching her cheek, which in turn make her scoot her body a little closer to me. I whisper the things I need to tell her, how much I love her, and how much I hope this secret that I'm holding onto doesn't tear us apart. I know it's a long shot, thinking she would at least love me enough to hear me out, but I know deep down that isn't going to happen.
My cell phone rings in the distance, causing Bella to stir a little bit. I quickly, but silently, move out from under the covers to retrieve it, noticing it's my mom.
I slide the button to answer. "Hey Mom, I take it you got my message." I laugh as I hear her joyful but happy laugh.
"I'm so proud of you honey. I know you've worked so hard," she says, as I hear another person or three in the background.
"Thanks, Mom, where are you at? Are you guys out partying?" I laugh because I know they aren't quite the type to get down.
"Yes, we are celebrating silly, we are so proud of you. And just so you know, we will be there for you in a few weeks. I booked the tickets today for all of us. We wouldn't miss this for the world sweetie," She says, and I'm instantly wondering who "we" is.
"Who's we, just you and Dad are coming right?" I ask, suddenly nervous.
"No, I said 'we' as in your father and me, as well as the Swans." She laughs, "Do you know it's been ages since they've seen Bella. That poor girl won't call them back or answer." I can hear the disappointment in her voice.
"I'm sure she has her reasons Mom, but why are they coming? It's obvious that something is wrong there. And plus, you never hung out with them before, or from what I can remember." I am internally panicking. It's bad enough Bella doesn't know the extent of my pieces in the show, but to now know that her parents are in the mix, this is a disaster waiting to happen.
"Oh Edward, you stop it. They want to be there to support you. Don't act rude. We have actually been hanging out for the past couple of weeks. When I talked to you last and you stated that you and Bella were together and seeing each other, I was elated. So, when I saw Renee in the grocery store, I said a hello and that I was so happy that our children were finally together, and how crazy it was that you met again clear cross the entire country," she laughs, but inside I'm dying.
"Renee said that she had no idea, and proceeded to tell me that they haven't spoken to Bella in quite some time. The nerve of that child, I swear. Any who, one thing led to another about your lives, and to say we have become friends quickly is an understatement. They are just as proud of you as we are sweetheart, and they keep saying how lucky their Bella is to find someone accomplished and going places," she breathes out, only to pick back up again. The pit in my stomach is growing by the minute. I'm not really listening to anything she is saying, because I'm looking over at the brown-haired girl of my dreams and I realize – her world, as well as my own, are about to come crashing down on us in a matter of weeks.
"And they can't wait to meet you Edward, and see what kind of man is involved with their daughter." She laughs, "As if you aren't good enough."
I hear Renee in the background laughing and telling my mother to stop her nonsense. Saying this is what they always wanted, and for Bella, too.
"Listen Mom," I spit out, "I'm going to let you go. It's late here and I'm tired. I'll talk to you later."
"Oh, sorry honey. Love you so much" she says.
"Yeah, um …love you too."
I hang up my phone, placing it on the table, and move quietly back to the bed. I slide in under the covers and pull Bella close to me.
I know, after speaking with my mother, that things are not going to be the same after this. Especially now that I know Bella's parents are coming along for the ride…. on someone else's coattails. In my heart I need to tell her, but right now, I've figured out that I'm not going to say a word about anything. Yes, indeed, it's wrong. But in less than three weeks, world war three is going to happen, and I want to hang on to Bella for as long as I can.
Because, in the back of my mind, I may be getting what I've always wanted – my photography work being shown. But it's going to come at a price. And that price could be losing something I've cherished.
So what do you guys think? Is he a complete dumbass for not telling …or should he live in the moment – until it's gone?
Reviews equal mad love – and I like mad love!
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