A/N: This was my submission for Fandom 4 OK! The banner can be found in my facebook group! Enjoy!


"Edward! Over here!" I shout when he and Dan climb out of Edward's four-by-four.

"Hey, mate." Edward grips my hand when he reaches me and pulls me in for a chest bump.

"How's it going so far?" Dan asks, following Edward's lead.

My teammates from the All Black team are at my parents' farm today to make the first ever All Blacks Exotic Rugby Calendar. The idea came to me last year when we were having a few beers with some guys from the French team. A few of the lady fans had approached us and asked for their autographs … while we were in New Zealand! The fuck is that? How does some Voulez-vous coucher avec moi douche come into our bar and have women ask him to sign naked pictures of himself? While sitting next to me?

Okay, that's a little harsh. They were actually pretty cool guys, but that's how I found out about the Dieux du Stade, a nude calendar the French team sells every year to raise money for charity. Of course, my first thought was anything they can do, we can do better.

So here we are. Doing their calendar … only better.

It took some begging to convince the coach, but once I explained the proceeds are going to KidsCan, a local charity providing food and clothing to disadvantaged kids, he pretty much gave in right away. I've gotten some nasty looks from some of the guys on the team, but I just grin and ignore them—in the end it's the kids that matter. Having millions of women drool over me is just an added bonus!

"Oh man! Get this!" I motion the guys closer. "Riley's nervous as fuck. He keeps trying to cover his junk so they finally gave him some weird sock thing to cover himself."

"You're shitting me," Dan laughs. "He's been mouthing off to anyone who would listen about how he'd be the star of the whole damn thing!"

"I know! I'm never going to let him live this down!"

Edward shakes his head at me, but he's laughing too, and I suspect he's at least a little bit excited about this. "Let's go. I just want to get this over with so I can go home to Bella and pretend like this never happened."

Or maybe not.

"Don't be such a sad sack, man. It's going to be awesome," I chide as the three of us walk toward one of the barns on my family's almost three-hundred-acre farm. "Besides, Bella should be here in about an hour. She and Rosie are bringing lunch for everyone."

Edward stops me in my tracks with a firm hand splayed against my chest. "They're coming here now?"

"Well, yeah. I figured you'd want to see them since we've been at that fucking teamwork camp for so long. I plan on taking Rosie up in the barn when we're done … know what I'm saying?" I ask, throwing them a wink.

"Yeah, Em. We got it," Dan mutters before addressing Edward. "You nervous, Cullen? Scared your girl's going to see one of us and drop your sorry arse?"

"Shut the fuck up, Carter," Edward growls. "She's going to be your fucking coach in about two days. Show a little respect."

"Chill out, mate. I'm just messing with you. Besides, Honor would beat my arse with a hockey stick if I so much as looked at another woman right now. Those pregnancy hormones are scary," Dan jokes. At least, I hope he's joking because Rosie's only a couple of months behind Dan's wife.

"Wait 'til you see them, Dan. You can practically see the sappy little hearts floating around their heads whenever they're in the same room together." I motion sticking my finger down my throat as we enter the barn, laughing when Edward huffs and flips me off.

"I have to admit, I can't wait to meet the girl that tamed Edward Cullen," Dan says as he pats Edward on the back.

"Emmett! Over here! These are the last two guys, yes?" Marcus calls as soon as he spots us. As the lead photographer, he prattles on without waiting for my response. "Let's hurry up and get the three of you prepped for your small group shots. Then we'll break for lunch before we get the whole team together."

"Sounds good, Marcus. Let's go get pretty, guys."




"Okay, Emmett, step a little closer to Edward, and wrap your arm around his head. Yes, just like that. Go ahead and grip the back of his hair and tilt your head so it looks as if you're resting it against his shoulder." Slippery, cold hands run down my back, and I feel Edward tense as they cover his chest in oil before rougher hands moved my arm up and tilted my hips. "Perfect, gentlemen. Emmett, tighten that arse up. Edward, I'm digging that icy glare you're giving me. Keep that up."

"Won't be a problem," Edward says. I choke back a laugh and resist the urge to lift my head and look at Edward. I figured he'd be pleased with the pose. He's holding a rugby ball over his junk, and since I'm draped over half of his body, he's mostly covered.

"Come on, mate! It's my arse on display, not yours," I try to joke. "Although, I am wondering why I'm hanging all over him like this, Marcus. I don't seem to recall any of the other pictures being this … touchy-feely."

"Clearly your memory is flawed then, Emmett," Marcus replies. "Those French boys were draped all over one another. Trust me. This is even better."

"Since when did gay become better?" I mumble quietly enough so only Edward can hear me.

"I hate you," he whispers back.

"Squeeze those cheeks, McCarty!" Marcus yells.

"Okay," I mutter, "maybe this wasn't my best idea ever."

"You think, dumbass?"

Without thinking, I pop my head to look at Edward. "Look at you, going all Yank on me! Is that what Bella calls you in the bedroom?"

Edward looks at me in disbelief before bursting out laughing . He lifts the hand with the rugby ball, presumably without thinking, and bops me in the back of the head with it while the camera continues to click away.

"Oh yes! Keep up that banter, you two. It's perfect. Cover those bits though, Edward!" Marcus orders.

I turn, not bothering to be discreet. "Dude! Use mine! Rose won't care!"

Edward laughs and shoves my shoulder causing me to stumble forward. "Rose would have a fit if you showed your junk all over the country."

"Better listen to him, baby." I glance up at Rosie's voice, and I can't stop the smile that spreads across my face every time she enters a room.

"Geez, Rose," Bella mutters, her eyes avoiding me at all costs. "I thought you said this wouldn't be awkward. Aren't they supposed to be wearing underwear?"

I spread my arms wide and offer Bella a smile. "No reason to hide the goods, Coachette. We're all friends here!"

Bellaboo offers me her snarkiest smirk and raises her eyebrows, making me laugh again. "Not that good of friends. Come on, Rose. Let's set up the food and go."

"Hell no! I'm staying and watching. You two finally convinced me to read fanfic and you," she said, waving her finger at Bella, "were all 'Try one slash story … You'll love it! … If you don't like it, you can flounce!' It's not my fault I'm addicted now. And seeing it live in person is way better than reading about it."

"She does know we're not gonna start fucking, right?" Edward mock-whispers.

Bella laughs as she shakes her head. "You're all hopeless. You deal with her," she says to me before looking Edward up and down. "You're looking good, baby. I kind of like that guy-liner … leave that on, 'kay?"

Edward's mouth drops open, and Bella throws him a wink before turning to set up the food. The makeup artist who's been fawning all over him starts on me.

"Better watch out, Maggie," I chide, winking at her. "You don't want to make my wife jealous, do you? She doesn't like other women getting fresh with her man."

Maggie's eyes widen and Rose steps closer to smack the back of my head. "Ignore him. I banged his head against the wall last night … repeatedly."

Edward tries to cover up his laugh with a cough before scolding us. "Can you two at least keep your bedroom kink private in front of complete strangers?"

Bella busts out laughing from the corner. "Like you're one to talk."

"Seriously, Edwardo. You two are the exhibitionists of our little group! Rosie and I have never been caught doing it in the middle of the field after practice … or in the locker room after a game … or in Coachette's office after a game … or…"

"Okay! I get your point! But still, I don't go around telling everyone I fucked her head into the wall last night!" Edward exclaims, his cheeks tinged pink.

Maggie gasps and I pat her shoulder gently before she scurries away. "Tsk, tsk, Edward. No need to scare the help."

"You're impossible!" Edward says, still trying to hold back his laughter.

"I know. It's why you love me."

"All right, Em," Rosie interrupts us. "Shut up so these nice people can do their jobs, and we can visit the next barn over."

"This. This is why I fucking love you, woman," I say, pulling her close and kissing her before letting her go.


"Hoooooooomygosh," I pant, coming up behind Bella. "This fucking pregnancy has me so horny, I don't know if I want to drag Emmett off now or lock him and Edward together in a bedroom."

"Rose!" Bella whispers, bumping my hip.

"Don't Rose me. I already told you this is your fault," I snap.

"Well, you aren't supposed to imagine our men together! That's just weird."

"Whatever, Bella. If I weren't head-over-heels in love with Emmett, I'd have been fawning all over Edward just like every other floozy out there. You must've had some kind of magical powers to resist that for as long as you did."

Bella peers over at me. "Have I mentioned how well pregnancy suits you, Rose?"

"Fuck! I'm sorry, Bella. These stupid hormones have me all over the place. It doesn't help that I'm literally horny twenty-four seven, and seeing them hanging all over each other only makes it worse."

"Well, I don't suggest you look at them now then," Bella tells me, peering over her shoulder.

"Why?" I gasp, spinning in place to see Emmett and Edward joined in an intimate embrace. Each has one hand on the other's shoulder with the other hand cupping the back of the other's head. Their foreheads are pressed together and they are staring intently into each other's eyes. It's a pose I've seen many times before, mostly during a pep talk before a game but sometimes off the field, and have never once given it a second thought.

Until now … with these voodoo hormones running rampant in my body and the magical sexy dust that fucking Maggie girl probably sprinkled all over them, the brotherly 'good job, mate' stance has morphed into a suggestive lovers' embrace.

"Oh, god. I think I just died a little inside," I murmur.

Bella doesn't even try to hide her laughter. "Maybe you should step outside, or better yet, head inside with your in-laws away from the naked guys, and take a break. I can handle the food."

I keep my eyes trained on the two men and barely hold in my whimper when Emmett laughs at something Edward's just whispered to him. My little roll in the hay with my sexy husband just got bumped up about three hours.

"Sure thing, Bella. That's probably a good idea," I say, my eyes never leaving my husband.


I watch my sexy wife start to walk out of the barn and force myself to rein in a fist pump when she winks and subtly nods her head toward the smaller barn just to the south. I swear I'm keeping that woman barefoot and pregnant if she's this horny every time she gets knocked up.

Thankfully, Marcus calls for a lunch break just a couple of minutes later, and I rush to squeeze my happy arse back into a pair of boxers to search her out.

"Where're you going?" Edward asks. "Food's over here."

"Yeah… I'm just gonna run in and talk to Mum for a minute," I answer, still backing away.

Edward cocks his head at me and grins. "Right, and I'm a sheep's arse. There's only one thing that would keep you away from food."

Flashing Edward a grin, I spin around and make a beeline for my eager wife.

"Rosieeee," I call out as I enter the other barn. "Come out, come out wherever you are!"

"Up here!" she yells back, and I look up to see her smiling face popping over the side of the loft. "What the hell took you so long?"

I'm up the ladder in no time, burying my face against her small bump and kissing our baby girl hello before answering Rose. "It's not like I could call 'Cut!' and tell Marcus I had to go tap dat ass. I missed you, by the way—both of you."

"We missed you, too, goofball." Rose's nails scratch my scalp as she runs her fingers through my hair, and I close my eyes and just revel in being near my girls again. I love my job and wouldn't trade it for the world, but it really sucks when we have to be away from home.

"Mmm… yeah. You just missed my goods, woman." I stand, scooping her up along the way and shuffling us to the far corner of the loft. Laying her down gently, I run my tongue up her neck and suck her earlobe between my teeth before laying a soft kiss behind her ear. "Isn't that right?"

Rose grabs my hips and tugs them flush against hers as she whimpers softly. I grind myself against her and my half-hard cock quickly becomes a full-fledged erection. Taking my time, I pepper kisses all along Rose's neck, cheeks, and mouth while trying not to dry hump her like a fourteen-year-old kid who just touched his girlfriend's boobs for the first time. My cock is screaming at me to move things along, but I can't help but take a few minutes to worship her after being apart for so long—even if we are in the hayloft of my parents' barn.

Just when my cock becomes so hard it's painful, Rosie mercifully slips her hand down my already bare chest and beneath my boxers. When she grips my shaft, I buck against her hand and grunt in relief as the pain ebbs into pleasure.

"Fuck, I missed this," Rosie moans. "Get up here." She pulls my boxers off and tugs me up toward her face, and I give thanks to whoever decided to make pregnant women fucking insatiable. I hover over her mouth, waiting for her to take the lead. She grips my hips and pulls me closer, licks the drop of precum from my dick, and runs her tongue along the thick vein from the base to the tip.

I'm no fucking fool; I jacked off this morning so I'd be able to last more than twenty seconds, but she looks so fucking sexy, staring up at me with her lust-filled blue eyes, I'm already too fucking close to falling over that edge. Gripping the base of my dick and squeezing, I grunt. "Watch it baby, or the grand finale's gonna be in your mouth."

Rose's tongue swirls around the head of my cock; her fingers pinch and pull at the stretched foreskin. "Good. S'how I want it." Without warning, she sucks my cock into her mouth, and suddenly all I feel is glorious, tight, wet heat. I fall forward, landing on my palms as she yanks my hips forward. As each tug gets a little more forceful, I clue in to what Rosie wants.

"You want me to fuck that pretty mouth, baby?" A groan is the only response I get, and it reverberates all the way up my cock and into my balls. Her tongue flicks the tip of my dick before I press in each time, going a little deeper with each thrust. Wanting to make this last as long as possible, I squeeze my eyes shut as the head finally slides into her narrow throat.

"Holy fuck! You feel amazing," I pant, sliding deeper into her throat. When her warm hand cups my balls, it feels so good I have to hold back a whimper. She squeezes them gently, rolling them around in her hand. Her other hand pushes my arse forward as her mouth clamps down around my dick and sucks me in deep, swallowing around the glans.

There's no stopping my orgasm now. My thighs tense, my balls draw up, and it feels like a million shooting stars are raining down all over me. My entire body is reaching, screaming for release until finally, blessedly every drop of man milk I have shoots straight through my dick and down her throat.

Rosie opens to let me slide out of her mouth, carefully licking off any remaining jizz along the way until she's finally done, and I collapse beside her on the hay.

"Fuck, baby," I pant as she snuggles against my chest. "I need a minute to recover."

To my surprise, she shakes her head. "Nu-uh. This was just for you."

I stare at her, waiting for the punch line. Not that she's never given me a fuck-awesome blowjob and expected nothing in return, but she's fucking horny as hell. My hand cups her crotch, and I can feel the warmth and dampness through her pants. "I can tell how close you are already, baby."

Surprising me again, she pushes my hand away. "No fucking way. It'll be better if I wait. Besides, I want you to take your time, and I want to be thoroughly fucked … and no way do I want hay in my lady bits."

"Fucking hell, woman." I throw my head back into the hay. "You're gonna kill me."

I can't stop the laugh that bubbles, yes bubbles, out of me when she replies. "All in the name of fuck-hot sex, baby. Now, get this hay out of my hair and let's go eat, Mr. January. I'm starving!"

My wife is fucking perfect. All she wants is food and sex; running into Rosie that day at her garage was, hands down, the best day of my life. Our feet hit solid ground again, and I throw my arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to kiss her head. "Your wish is my command, baby."

A/N: Thanks to everyone who donated! And a special thanks to Pates for helping me remember to post this! Love you!

As always, I couldn't do this without my awesome support team, born, whiti, chaya, intricacy, and yummy. I love those girls massively!