The first time was an accident.
"Light," L said, staring at him with those inscrutable onyx eyes. Light turned from his paperwork.
"Yes, Ryuu?" He said it absently, and didn't even realize what he'd said (so so stupidly) until he looked up to see L's shocked expression. As realization of what he'd said hit him, Light felt his face grow hot and flushed. "What?" he asked rudely, trying to cover up his embarrassment.
L smiled faintly (or was it his imagination?) and held out his hand. "If you're done checking the stats."
"Of course," Light said, a little more brusquely than necessary, and passed the sheets over…and pulled his hand back like he'd been burned when he felt L's pale and surprisingly warm fingers brush across his own. He felt his face heat up again, and quickly turned away. He felt L's gaze on him for some time afterwards, but diligently pretended not to notice.
The second time was bad luck.
Light opened the fridge and sighed in frustration for the third time that day.
"What is the matter?" L asked, looking up from the dining table with a peevish expression.
"Do you have any real food, Ryuuzaki?" Light asked, closing the refrigerator door none too gently.
"If Light would explain how exactly 'real' food differs from what we have as our regular fare, I would gladly answer," L said, somewhat more calmly. He didn't fool Light, who saw the mischievous glint in his eyes as he spoke.
"You know perfectly well what I mean." But Light decided to spell it out because he was hungry and didn't want to deal with L's games just then. "I mean something nutritionally dense, as opposed to the garbage you seem to live on."
L gestured vaguely with his fork. "Try the pantry."
Light reached for the large cupboard above the fridge. "No, not that." L walked over to Light, who instinctively tensed. But he needn't have worried, because L simply walked past him, to a door that Light had always assumed led to another part of headquarters. Light gaped when the door opened. Then he felt his eye twitch in annoyance.
"You mean we've had this here this entire time?" he asked, voice low and dangerous.
"You never asked," L said, smiling impishly (laughing!) at him.
And despite his annoyance, Light felt his heart give a treacherous lurch at that disgustingly cute expression. Not trusting himself to say more, he hmphed and slammed the pantry door shut. "I'm not hungry after all," he said, more to convince himself than to explain to L.
L merely smiled. And Light…Light felt suddenly that parts of himself that had been locked away were being slowly coaxed out against his will.
The third time was terrible (terribly wonderful).
He'd dragged L into the kitchen so they could eat and had stepped into the pantry, which was stocked with enough food to last through an apocalypse. As Light reached up hastily to grab a microwave dinner, he felt an ominous weight tumble against him. A little off-balance himself from being on his toes, Light slipped and crashed onto the linoleum floor, with L landing heavily on his chest.
He lay there, stunned, trying to catch his breath. Some part of his mind screamed at him to get up at once, but another treacherous part told him otherwise. (Just what it was telling him he wouldn't have revealed for the world.)
"Are you all right, Light?" The boy looked down in surprise at the tenderness of L's voice. Then blushed at L's expression or, more specifically, at how close they were (damn the detective).
"Yes, I'm fine," Light said, making an attempt to rise but stopping at the vicious pounding of his head. L must have seen the wince, because he pushed Light back gently while cradling his head with a hand.
"Please stay here while I get Watari," L said. Too confused to protest, Light lay back and closed his eyes. Once he'd felt L leave, Light spent the time alone trying to calm himself.
The fourth time was a revelation.
Light had slowly acclimated himself to the idea that he just might have feelings for L. The idea scared him like nothing else could. Lying in bed in the early morning chill, he wracked his brain for any early clues that might have alerted him and prevented the disaster. How could he have let this happen? Did his father know? L certainly knew. His manner was too kind to be mistaken. He would no doubt try to use this against Light, playing his games, accusing him of being Kira and possibly guilt tripping him into confessing. Light's chest twisted at the thought, and he tried to convince himself he didn't care. But he did care, and a few tears slipped out against his will, which Light tried to sniff away discreetly.
Not discreetly enough, because a moment later, he felt the bed shift. A warm hand on his shoulder told him that L was awake and had heard everything.
"What?" Light whispered, knowing his voice would be hoarse if he tried to speak. His irascible tone must have come through, however. There was a short silence, before L spoke hesitantly.
"Is the room too cold?"
Light chuckled at L's unexpected tact. "No, Ryuuzaki, I'm all right."
L seemed not to have heard him because Light suddenly felt an alarming warmth at his back and blushed down to his roots at the intimate way he was pushed back against L. He gasped and shuddered when L's breath tickled his ear.
"Ryuu—" He stopped, mid-word, because of the breathy quality of his voice. Light buried his face in the pillow, trying to stop his blush at how wanton he'd sounded.
L's breath hitched, and his arms tightened around Light's torso. Light felt lips brush against his neck and jaw, and squeaked.
"Wh—what are you doing, Ryuuzaki?" he asked stupidly.
"What does it look like?" L's voice sounded unnaturally deep and husky. "Kissing you better."
"Well, stop," Light breathed, tensing his shoulders and trying to roll away. L's clutch on him only tightened, however, and he was pulled more forcefully into the detective's chest. Which was when he realized what a big package was pushed up between his legs. It wasn't as if L was even like that; it was just that the reality of the situation hit him, and he came to his senses immediately.
"Please," he whispered, voice painfully tight. The arms holding him captive loosened ever so slightly, and as embarrassed as Light felt, he turned to face L.
He wanted to confirm for himself that L cared nothing for him. But what he saw changed his opinion entirely. L's eyebrows were knit together in concern, the first time Light had ever seen him frowning at something other than an uncooperative case. And L looked contrite, which confused Light for a moment, until it dawned on him that L might be feeling guilty for the shameless way he'd just acted. But Light had liked it, so he was just as culpable, wasn't he?
Light smiled hesitantly, and brushed a few stray locks of black hair from L's forehead. Feeling bold, he leaned in and kissed the detective gently on the mouth. L immediately responded, stroking Light's face and pulling him in for a deeper kiss. The boy mewled as L slid his tongue inside his mouth, and their appendages stroked each other wetly. L pulled the boy flush against his body, and slid his hands down his buttocks, parting his legs with his knee. At that point, Light pulled away, blushing bright red again.
"Um," he began, eloquently, then kicked himself for his ineptitude. "I'm just…"
"I won't go further than you're comfortable with," L said softly, pulling his hands away. But he had a disappointed look on his face, which made Light smile. As consolation, he kissed the detective soundly, their mouths making soft squishy noises as they moved.
When they finally parted, Light pressed his forehead against L's and looked up at him with half-lidded, trusting eyes. "I think I like you," he confessed, a little giddy with the night's proceedings. L chuckled. "You think?" Light just grinned back, feeling unlike himself.
L suddenly grew serious, and caressed Light's face, looking intent. "I like you quite a lot," he said. "So it would be bothersome if you didn't' reciprocate."
Light kissed him again at that. And despite his previous protests, he let L go as far as he wanted.
In the morning, with sunlight streaming in through the windows, Light opened his eyes and looked tenderly at the still-sleeping form of the detective. He traced the smooth contour of L's bare shoulder blades and pressed his legs closer to L's. Light kissed him softly, and held his breath as the detective woke. The man looked disoriented for a moment, staring at their naked bodies as if seeing the scene of their lovemaking for the first time. But then he smiled, and the bags under his eyes didn't seem as dark as before.
And to think, it had all started with an accident.