A/N: This chapter was the one shot I wrote for the CarlWard Contest in January 2011. That's right Carlisle and Edward…romantically *waggles eyebrows*. I had originally wanted Carlisle's POV in it too, but didn't get a chance to write it in time for the contest. So it's 3 parts, a three-shot if you will. LOL! Many thanks to stephlite and TheFaintHeart for the original beta job for the contest piece. Also thanks to abbymickey24 and SweetT129 for looking over it after my recent edits. Lastly, thanks to my girls TheLyricalCutie & SagaDevotee for pre-reading.

All things Twilight are the property and ownership of S. Meyers. I make no money from my obsession.

Chapter 1: The Plunge - EPOV

When I first stepped out of the car, I could not stop the smile from coming over my face. I was finally happy. I felt like twirling around in the center of the campus lawn and tossing my hat into the air, very much like Mary Tyler Moore. I finally got the chance to start over. This year – this school – was going to be different. I would finally be on my path to being Dr. Edward Masen.

My big brother Emmett was helping me unload my car at my new dorm. A year and a half ago when he asked me to apply to Knox-Whit University, I laughed him off. Who wanted to go to the same school as your star-athlete brother? I knew I didn't. I felt that going to KWU would put me in Emmett's shadow, and I wanted to be my own man, so I applied at several other schools.

Had I known what my freshman year was going to be like at the 'Puritan School Of Destroying Your Hopes and Dreams While Alienating You Because You Go Against The Norm,' I certainly would have reconsidered.

I had chosen an extremely small school in a small town in Rhode Island. I had seen their advertisement in the counselor's office at my high school. My mom and I flew out from our hometown of Chicago to visit their campus. Everything seemed wonderful, from their small class ratios to the high matriculation rates. I also was told they had an excellent Pre-Med program and Medical Schools gladly accepted their graduates.

Unfortunately, I later discovered that it was a nursing program with a concentration in Pre-Med studies, but by that point, I was well into the semester. That should have been my first clue that things weren't right there, but it was only the tip of the iceberg.

Remember the happy face.

Yes, that was my past. But I was a KW Wildcat now and I was free to be me.

Emmett was so happy that I was here; I could tell that he had missed me. We had always been close and enjoyed going to the same school when we were growing up, even though we were on different sides of the spectrum – him being the popular jock and lovable guy while I was the shy kid dipped in geek with a dorky nougat center. Emmett had said college life would combine all of that. It was a place where football players partied with the chemistry students, but he had yet to tell me why. Instead, he was going on and on about all the parties he was going to take me to. He was even more excited that I could come to all his games. It all sounded great, and, even more, this place felt right. With almost a week before classes started, I had some time to get myself settled. Then I could experience it all.

We finally reached my room, and the door was already open. There, in the middle of the room, was a half naked, chestnut-skinned hottie, whose back muscles greeted me before his ass did. Emmett had been kind enough to set me up with a roommate who he said shared my interests. I was thinking more along the lines of Pre-Med student, a piano player, or a Sunday morning crossword completer. However, his introduction immediately narrowed it down to the point.

"Damn Emmett! You told me your brother was a geek! This is not a geek – more like spank-bank material." Emmett's face turned four shades of red.

"Dude. I don't even want to know. Edward, this is my fan-club president, Jacob Black." Emmett slapped Jake on his shoulder and Jake winced. Heavy-handed bastard.

"Oh Emmett, I love it when you're rough. Now get out. We roomies have to get acquainted." Jake winked at me and Emmett chuckled as he backed out of the room.

"Eddie, my boy, welcome to heaven. I'll see you boys at dinner." With that, he was gone and I surveyed the room to find band posters on the wall and a poster above Jake's bed of that young British actor girls were always swooning over.

Jake and I chatted a little while I unpacked. He told me about how he met Emmett in the gym and how they quickly became friends. Jake was a sophomore engineering student and was full of jokes. I could see why he and my brother had hit it off – he was easy to like. He came from a reservation back west with a very supportive family. When he came out to his dad, he was loved even more for being honest with himself. It was like what I had back home – a great support system. It helped that Emmett and I had two moms when I came out – they understood. I'd been happy to have it, but I sometimes thought the easy and accepting life I faced at home was what caused me to suffer so harshly at my old school.

Jake decided that I needed a proper tour of campus and our first stop was, of course, the cafeteria. Go figure. Jake was cut, but if he was friends with Emmett, I knew he could put it away.

Our second stop was what he called 'Call 911 for Me' Row or to the rest of the college population, it was known as Frat Row. I had never seen such an active Greek life other than on TV – it was like walking onto a movie set. There were a few guys sitting out front, greeting people that walked past, and another set of guys were tossing a football around the yard. The girls from the sorority houses across the street were putting up welcome signs and squealing with the return of each of their housemates. It was classic. Jake explained each of the houses, their mottos, and his thoughts on their organization. It was very entertaining and educational; I now knew not to eat anything made by the sisters of Kai Beta.

We were getting close to his favorite frat house, the one that Jake said he would be pledging this year. He was very enlightening as he listed the finer points of the frat, from their motto to the benefits post graduation. Jake seemed to know what he was talking about and so I was suddenly interested in learning more about Nu Alpha Tau.

Jake stopped suddenly, and I looked up at his face to see if he was okay. I observed that he was breathing a little heavier and his eyes were glazed over. I searched in the direction of his gaze and found what I knew had caught his focus.






"That, right there," Jake said softly, "is the hottest man to ever grace this planet." I was too lost to comment. "Edward, meet perfection: Mr. Carlisle Cullen.

Carlisle. I was not looking at a mortal man. It was impossible to belittle him as such. He stood at least 6'2'', and was toned, with a chiseled face and brown hair that curled slightly on its ends. His white t-shirt and a pair of jeans adorned his body lovingly. Dear God I am jealous of those jeans. His smile was alluring and I was enthralled by the way his hand kept going through his hair. Carlisle's confidence was evident in the way he stood so strongly.

I realized then that I wanted his power all over me.

A young woman came to stand beside him. I was jealous of the smile he gave her, even more so when he kissed her lightly and squeezed her close. She looked perfect for him. The guy they were talking to moved into my line of vision, and I growled lowly. He was blocking my eye candy. When the unnamed guy moved out of the way, the object of my desire looked right at me. His eyes burned so much that they were almost deadly. No longer smiling, his welcoming lips had spread into a thin line. It was too intense and I had to break the stare.

"Edward, you my friend, have just been farmed." Jake laughed and nudged me back toward our dorm.

"FUCK! He was gorgeous." I couldn't hide the enthusiasm in my voice, but Jake's previous comment brought about a question. "Farmed? What do you mean?"

"Ha! Dude I saw you, all swooning and eye-fucking Carlisle. It's a shame and a disgrace that he is straight. Many a gay man has crossed his path and swooned, faltered, and cried after seeing him. His nickname in the frat is 'The Farmer.' He is from some country town and his dad is a farmer, I think. But, it's not corn Carlisle is farming here; it's broken-hearted boys like you and me."

I laughed at Jake's reply. He was right though. I was caught up in him. "So the girl?" I asked, wanting to know more.

"Esme Platt. His hometown honey."

"Do you have anything else to add to that?" Jake laughed at me, but didn't disappoint.

"I knew I would like you. I've been waiting on someone to share my love for that man. Here's the scoop: he's 21, won't be 22 until next year. Like I said before, Esme is his girlfriend from home, and has been with him since like, babies or something. He's a senior; Pre-Med." Jake wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh my god. I may see him in my classes."

"Doubt it, sophomore. Carlisle is smart. Super smart. He's probably working on just his thesis now." Jake gave me a pouty look. "It's okay, you can cry on my shoulder." I punched him in his arm as we made it back to our room.

The week passed quickly, and finally, we were starting our first official day of classes. My two classes that morning were mainly introductions, the professor's expectations, reviewing the syllabus, and general information on the subject. As I went over the first syllabi, I was floored by the material we would be covering before midterm. It looked like KWU was actually going to make you learn something. The geek in me rejoiced, though, the latent party animal, dying to be reborn, was a bit forlorn.

I was making my way to my Anatomy II on the other side of campus. It was only my first day in this class, and it looked like I was going to be late. Great! This was going to be a challenge for me on Mondays and Wednesdays – I had Calculus III right before in Kirby Hall, and would have to practically run all the way across campus to make it on time to the science building.

I rushed through the classroom door and quickly grabbed the closest seat. The lecture had already started, but it didn't seem like I had missed much.

"…and your lab will consist of 25% of your grade. You will mostly work individually in lab, but you will have a partner from time to time." Dr. Sam Uley was a well-respected professor, though a bit pretentious. He seemed bored already, so I guessed that this was either going to be an easy class, or he was going to make us pray that we could at least passed.

"I'd like to introduce you to my Teacher's Assistant for this class. Carl, stand up. Introduce yourself." Jeez, what a prick. I felt sorry for Carl.

I reached down to grab a pen from my bag so I could jot some things down, and didn't see Carl stand up, "Greetings everyone, I am Carlisle Cullen, the TA for this class."

Did I just hear what I thought I heard? I looked up, and there he was: my frat-boy-love.

He was leaning back against the desk wearing a pair of black slacks, and a button-down dark blue shirt with the sleeves rolled to the elbows, and the top two buttons unfastened. I felt my palms begin to sweat and I knew I was becoming flushed. I had never reacted this way over a guy. I'd had my crushes, and two boyfriends since I came out, but this was something new, something beyond my Cosmo check-list of "Do You Think He's Hot?"

He licked his bottom lip and continued to speak.

Heart failure in t-minus 5 seconds


"I will be assisting Dr. Uley for the remainder of the semester."


"I will also be teaching the class later in the semester, and leading the study group throughout."

3… Is it getting hot in here?

"I have been where you are now and I can tell you, this class won't be easy. I, however, am here to help."

2… Help do what again?

"Never be afraid to ask me questions; my email and phone number are on your syllabus. I also live on campus and have an open-door policy." He scanned my way and did a double-take. His brows rose slightly, his lips narrowing into a straight line once again, and he gave me that fucking soul piercing stare. "So you are welcome to visit me during my listed hours."


Death imminent

I sucked in a deep breath and watched as he slowly took his seat at the front of the class. I was done – there was no way I was going to hear anything else the rest of the class. I was lost in a fantasy in which I was going to see Carlisle during his designated hours at his fraternity. He was waiting in his room, dressed similarly as he had been today. He told me he could teach me so much, lesson one being that a doctor had to be good with his hands. He hooked his fingers in my belt loops and pulled me closer to him. I could feel his breath fan across my face as he tucked his head in the crook of my neck and ran his nose along it. Carlisle wrapped an arm around my waist while his other hand nestled in my mangled mess of hair. He pulled my face closer to his and….

"...divided the bacteria. And that's the end of class. DON'T forget to do the reading. This isn't a pleasure cruise, folks." Dr. Uley's harsh tones ended my fantasy too effectively for my tastes. So close, and yet so far. He's straight Edward, I reminded myself. But, that didn't mean I couldn't dream a little.

I got up from my desk after I knew things had settled below. I was going to have to watch the fantasies during this class. I walked slowly back to the dorms, wondering how in the hell I was going to get through the semester of Anatomy without zoning out completely in every class.

I reached my room and fell face first on my bed in utter defeat, hoping that Jake might be able to give me some advice on this. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought. I looked up at Jake's schedule above his desk and noticed that he should have been back by now. Shrugging, I decided to get started on the shit-ton of reading Dr. Uley assigned.

An hour passed, and it was getting close to dinner. I thought about calling Jake to see if he wanted to meet me in the cafeteria, but just as I reached for my cell phone, our room door was slammed open. Jake was standing there, with an ear-to-ear grin, covered in mud. I was just about to ask him what in the hell happened when he raised his hand to stop me. Shaking his head, he grabbed his shower caddy and clothes, then headed back out the door.

Twenty minutes later, Jake had returned fresh and dressed. He sat down on his bed and waved his hand as if telling me to proceed. I rolled my eyes, but I asked because I was too damn curious not to.

"What in the hell were you doing?

"Nu Alpha Tau's Welcome-Welcome," Jake responded with a Cheshire smile.

"What's that?" I asked, even more curious than before.

"Dude, it's Rush Week!" Jake looked at me like I was a social pariah.

"And that is?"

If Jake's eyebrows rose any higher, they were going to fly off his face. "RUSH! WEEK! As in 'Hello, I like your frat and want in.' week."

"Oh!" I said in understanding.

I had heard about this before, from Emmett. Greek houses would promote their organization and offer entry into their group. From what Emmett had told me, I'd always thought it was just an excuse to have a weeklong party, but maybe there was something more to it. My brother mentioned how he was not limited to the guys' house events. He particularly enjoyed the Sororities Rush Week as well. If I remembered correctly, he called it the 'New Panties Raid' Week. I was glad there was to it than I was previously informed.

"Yes, 'Oh!', Edward. Jeez what school did you go to freshman year?" Jake stared at me in shock at my lack of knowledge.

I cringed as he mention freshman year. "It's a long story," I said quickly, really not wanting to talk about it.

"Never mind. Anyway, they are having a BBQ tonight. It'll be awesome, and Felix is on the grill. Talk about your hot man meat…UNF!" I gulped as Jake thrusted his hips into the air. I shook my head and thought about going, wondering if I could I see Carlisle again and not bumble like an idiot.

"Can't we just go to the cafeteria?" I asked hopefully.

"And miss out on free BBQ and eye candy?! Walk and chat. I could eat a moose right now!" Jake clapped his hands together and made his way toward the door.

I tried to reason with Jake again, but he just turned and glared at me. With Jake showing no signs of listening to me, I gave up. If I was going, I needed to change into something Carlisle hadn't already seen me in. I rushed to my closet and went through selection after selection. This was so pathetic; I was beyond the point of help.

Jake noticed my closet raid and took pity on me. He came over to my closet and pulled out a pair of Levi's and my t-shirt with a group of nuns on it that said, "All the single ladies." I looked up at him with questioning eyes and he nodded adamantly.

I noticed the catastrophe that was my hair in my door mirror. Jake and I glanced at the clock and shook our heads; there was certainly not enough time in the world, much less before his BBQ, to try and tame it.

We began our walk towards Nu Alpha Tau and I told Jake about what happened in my Anatomy II class. I even mentioned bits and pieces of my little fantasy. He, of course, wanted me to go back and start over, placing him where I was. He could do that in his dreams – there was no way he was starring in mine.

We were just about to arrive at the frat house when I paused. Many questions began to flood my mind. What if he thought my shirt was stupid? What if my breath smelled after eating all the BBQ? Would he even notice I was there? Well it didn't matter any way because he was in a relationship... with a woman.

"Oh don't be such a sour puss, Edward. I'm going to let you have Carlisle." Jake gripped my shoulder and smiled.

"Um, thanks?" Like he ever had a chance.

"Just be yourself, Edward. If you can't have his heart, at least you can have his friendship." Wow. Did Jake actually say something useful?

"Or, maybe if you join Nu Alpha Tau with me, we could accidentally see him naked." Jake stared off into the distance, probably lost in another fantasy.

"Okay, let's do this. Broken heart be damned," I said, throwing my hands in the air dramatically.

I marched forward toward the house, and Jake let out a loud whoop from behind me. There were people standing about the frat's lawn, chatting and laughing. 'Cage The Elephant' was playing through the speakers, and it was an easy atmosphere. We received a couple of head nods and greetings from some of our dorm mates, as well as what I was assuming were some of the current frat members.

Jake pushed past me into the house, storming through the back patio doors to the deck. I could see the guy he pointed out to me as Felix slapping him on the back. Jake jerked forward a few steps, and I hoped that I never got that friendly with Felix. I was making my way to the deck tentatively, stopping at moments to glance around the house. I expected a disaster: dirty laundry, beer bottles, posters of half naked woman blanketing the walls. Instead, what I found were photos of past members, the Nu Alpha Tau Charter, clean and fashionable furniture, and a large dining room table with an ornate centerpiece.

It almost felt like home.

"Edward? C'mon, man! Burgers!" Jake startled me from the patio doors with a plate full of food.

I made it outside, but I could not stop my eyes from searching for him. And find him they did.

There, in the middle of the backyard, was the object of my obsession. Carlisle, in a relaxed stance that showed off his legs in a glorious pair of khaki shorts, wore a green t-shirt with a pig on it; the words, 'Bacon Anonymous' was written under it. I loved that shirt! I'd always wanted it, but all my usual online shops never had my size. I looked at Jake and he smirked at me. The knowing bastard – I should have guessed he knew Carlisle's attire. This persona was different from what I saw in Anatomy earlier. Here he seemed calm and mellow, more of what I hoped was his true self.

I moved closer, noticing that he was answering questions from group of potential pledges. He smiled often, and his grayish-green eyes sparkled in the late evening sun. He would place his hand on his chin when he was pondering a comment or question made by the group. I wanted to nibble on his chin. Damn. Carlisle was fucking Cary Grant reincarnated and I had to settle on friendship.

Carlisle started to discuss the frat's upcoming social calendar. I knew they held a lot of parties, but it was good to hear about some of their philanthropy work on and off campus. Carlisle shifted slightly when I came closer, and I guessed he could tell someone was near. I just stood there listening, hoping to catch his gaze. The group dispersed after a few minutes, and I noticed he remained.

Here goes nothing. "Edward." I blurted out.

"No, it's Carlisle, actually." He smirked slightly and held out his hand. "Carlisle Cullen." He must have thought I was nuts.

"Sorry, I meant to say that I'm Edward Masen." I reached out and took his hand firmly. His touch set me aflame. His hand felt rugged, like he was a man of hard work. It was comforting, and very inviting. My eyes fluttered for just a moment, and when I came to, Carlisle was staring at me inquisitively. I released his hand quickly and tried to act as if nothing happened.

I decided to move things along and ask him about the frat. I knew he had been talking about it all evening, but the way Carlisle spoke with such conviction, you wouldn't think so. He told me the history and the meaning behind their beliefs. I found myself more relaxed, and began to ask more questions. We must have been talking a while, because the evening sun had set and someone had turned on the backyard lights.

"Eddie, my man. Where have you been?" Jake said as he strolled up behind us.

Jacob Black was going to die.

"I've been talking to Carlisle; learning more about his brotherhood. Carlisle, you know Jacob, correct?" I said as I smiled his way.

"Yes, I think you attended a few of our functions last year," Carlisle said as he shook Jake's hand. He didn't linger.

"So Mr. President… Can I call you that? Or do you prefer Carl?" Jake said, flirting with my President. I mean Carlisle.

"Carlisle please. Only Carlisle." Carlisle smiled at him and looked back towards me, expecting to finish our conversation.

"Oh wonderful, Carlisle. That is such a wonderful name. We are thinking of joining, but we were curious. Does the frat accept individuals with different sexual orientations?" Jake said with the first serious expression I'd seen on him to date.

What the fuck Jake?! I looked to Carlisle, who had reddened slightly, but cleared his throat and responded eloquently.

"Yes, of course. All are welcome, Joshua," Carlisle said. I barely contained my smile.

"It's Jacob, but you can call me Jake." Jake winked at him and I wanted to claw his eyes out.

"Sure, John." I couldn't hide the chuckle that escaped my lips.

Another one of Carlisle's frat brothers, Aro Marcus, came over to introduce himself and answer some of our questions. He began to pull Jake away from Carlisle and I, suggesting that Jake come see the collection of paintings donated to the house. Jake sent me a mock glare and I had to fight the urge to stick my tongue out at him.

Carlisle definitely seemed relieved that he was gone. I was too. We went to grab some sodas and sat at one of the tables to finish talking.

He began to open up more and more, and finally I got to know the other Carlisle. He was twenty-one, and came from Sioux Falls, North Dakota. He was finishing up his last year of Pre-Med classes before heading to Medical School, and had hopes of going back to his home town when he graduated.

I was like a sponge, absorbing it all, but I didn't let him do all the talking. I shared with him a few of my thoughts and feelings on my life. I admitted to him that I was gay and glad to finally be able to be out. I knew that the judgmental glares and comments would not stop completely, but it was nice to go a day without being ridiculed. I told him how I wanted to become a doctor, mainly to better take care of my family. I worried about both my moms so much. I was selfish and wanted them around for as long as possible. He called me a momma's boy, and I told him that if he had my mom's Eggplant Parmesan, he would be right there with me.

Carlisle told me that he knew my brother Emmett, and I was shocked. Had he been checking up on me? He assured me that Emmett had been very excited about my coming to KWU, and hadn't stopped talking about me. Then he went on a rave about stats, points, and how my brother was the best quarterback KWU had ever seen. He asked if I played like my brother and I practically spit my soda out all over him.

"No, I'm a man of more intellectual tastes," I said very smoothly.

I didn't mean to flirt, and I suddenly became nervous, thinking I made him uncomfortable. Instead, I was rewarded with the slight hint of pink coming over his cheeks.

We wrapped up the evening and I mentioned that I would see him next class. He nodded and told me to make sure I did my reading, then went searching for Jake by the grill. He wasn't there, so I grabbed a plate for Emmett. Mostly everyone was in the backyard or in the house playing video games, so I went in, figuring that's where Jake would be, but still could not find him. I gave the house one more look before heading toward the front door to leave. I was just about there when I saw a door open at the top of the staircase. There was Jake, rearranging his clothes, while coming out of a room. No Way! A head poked itself out the crack and all I saw was black hair and a bare shoulder. Jake leaned in for a kiss and was pulled back in the room. I chuckled and quickly left the house.

I called Emmett to tell him I had food – he never passed up a meal. He was just getting back to his apartment on campus after working out when I called. I was glad I made a hefty plate – I was barely in the door before Emmett had snatched up the food and plopped down on his sofa. I told him all about the frat BBQ. His face quickly fell, and I was worried.

"I seriously hope you're not pledging." He bit the rib in his hand and I struggled to listen.

"What? Why not? They have a lot to offer, and this would look great for medical school."

"You can't trust them Edward. Especially Carlisle. He's the leader and looks the other way," Emmett said between bites.

I was shocked. Carlisle came across as someone very genuine and nice, gentlemanly. Plus I had already planned out our wedding, house, dual practice, 2.5 kids, and a chocolate Lab named Bella.

"Well, I met him, and I didn't think he seemed that way. Look, Emmett – I am my own person, and you have to let me be. What happened at my old school will not happen here. Nu Alpha Tau has so much I believe in. I really think that I want to be a part of it."

"Is Carlisle one of those things?" Emmett asked.

His comment was somewhat joking, but I could see by the look on his face he was curious. Was I interested in more than just the frat? Well yes, but I wasn't joining for a man.

"He's a great guy that has done a fine job with his frat. Carlisle or not, they still hold great values."

"Don't get all dramatic on me. I'm just trying to look out for you. Just… Be careful. Okay?" Emmett sighed and put down his food. This must be serious.

"What happened anyway?" I had to know.

"Embry Call was a running back on the team a year ago. He wanted to pledge, but was beat up instead by your fancy group of shits. He told me Carlisle just watched as it all happened. Some brotherhood." I was shocked as hell. It had to be a misunderstanding.

I was going to have to ask Carlisle about this if I wanted to join. I was honest when I said they represented something I wanted to be a part of. So, leading up to my next Anatomy class, I gathered all the things their website said I would need. Yet it all depended on this Embry situation. I trusted my brother, but I didn't know Embry Call, and there were always two sides to every story.

By the end of my class, my leg was bouncing. I sat and tried to calm down while I waited for the eager sluts in my class to back off my man. Your man?! I had to get a grip. Carlisle was not mine; he was only a starring actor in my dreams.

The last girl left, and I walked over to him. I asked if he had time to talk more about the pledging process. I couldn't talk to him about Emmett's friend here, so I suggested we go someplace to chat. He ended up taking me to one of his favorite coffee shops on campus, The Coffee Grounds. I watched him as he found us a table and I had to recover swiftly after checking out his ass.

We sat, and Carlisle began describing the requirements for pledging. I met all of them. In fact, I come prepared with a copy of my transcripts, letter of recommendations, and an essay. I would also need an official vouch from a member of the frat. I was hoping it would be Carlisle. He told me that Jake had submitted his already as well and was very enthused about the process. We shared a laugh, and I told Carlisle that he shouldn't have to worry about Jake coming after him anymore as I remembered what I saw at the BBQ. I began to tell Carlisle about seeing Jake's possible fling with a frat brother whose room was at the top of the staircase. Carlisle's face turned pale, and then angered.

"Did I say something wrong?" I thought we were getting along great. I didn't want to ruin this.

"No. Sorry, it's fine. I just know whose room that was. Can we keep this between us? I want Jake to get fair treatment." I nodded at his request. Jake had worked hard for this. I didn't want someone taking advantage of him.

"Before I officially pledge, I have to know something first." I took a deep breath and Carlisle leaned in. That was so not helping. "I told my brother I wanted to pledge. He told me about Embry Call."

Carlisle sighed heavily and I worried that it was all true. "Your brother and Embry were really close, but not close enough for him to know that Embry was using steroids. I caught him more than once. The football team always uses the pool, and I was on the swim team up until last year."

He shook his head and I touched his arm in comfort. His rewarding smile did the same for me. "After the third time, I knew he was not heeding my warning, so I had to go tell the coach. I also told the president of the frat at the time and had his membership pulled. In one day he lost it all, all because of me."

"No, Carlisle, it was not because of you. He made the wrong choices."

"I know, but maybe I could have…." He paused.

"You did all you could," I assured, giving his arm another squeeze before letting go and allowing him to continue.

"Well, he came after me, and we fought. He was doped up, and I definitely couldn't take him in that state. Luckily, Felix, Jasper, and Aro were walking by and helped me out. We did not beat him up. It took all four of us to keep him down."

And that was that. It was all I needed to hear. So I handed him my docs and gave my official bid for their fraternity. Now all I needed was for him to be my vouch, and I would be set. Who would I go to if I didn't? Maybe Felix. I hadn't even ever seen Jasper. Carlisle looked over my documents and smiled.

"A man that is prepared – that is definitely Nu Alpha Tau material," he said as he looked at me intensely.

"Now, all I need is that vouch from a current member…" I said slyly, hoping he'd get the picture.

"I'm sure one of the brothers may do that for you." He was playing along with me. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was coming on to me. It was probably just a figment of my imagination.

Oh he's in trouble now.

"Yes, I am quite sure that Aro might. He has been rather helpful." I smirked, teasing him a little.

Carlisle's face turned into that hard line again. Maybe I went too far.

"No. I don't think that will be necessary. You have mine," Carlisle said strongly. I shook his hand and could not hide the grin on my face.

By the end of the week, Jake and I were restless. We were waiting to hear something – anything – from the frat. Around two am Friday morning, I heard noises in our room. I opened my eyes to see Carlisle, Felix, Aro, and a man who I had learned to be Demetri, Felix's brother. Carlisle flipped the switch and the light blinded me. They told us to get dressed and when we were, they guided us over to the frat house. There were twelve other guys there. I knew the frat only took in half that. People usually quit, not from hazing, but because they were apparently, "lazy fucks only in it for the parties." Carlisle's words not mine.

We were lined up and told that we were the new pledge line for the year 2010. Should we make it, we would be fully fledged brothers by January of 2011. We were all excited. They outlined to us the rules: School first, public service, frat house chores (to which we all groaned), study hall, and we were the new source of entertainment at the frat's events.

I tried not to get excited. Jake and I both loved to plan parties (Yes, our gay was certainly showing). Next, we were assigned a current frat member to be our guides. It was to be the one that vouched for you. I looked at Carlisle and smiled. He smiled back at me and we fist bumped. Epic. I would have settled for a kiss, but this was good too. Carlisle then cleared his throat and the room fell silent.

"I will be addressed as Big Brother Farmer. You must learn ALL the brothers' frat names. You will address them as Big Brother and their frat name. Failure to comply will result in dismissal. Welcome probies, to the beginning of the end."

Had I known then what I knew now, I would have seriously reconsidered pledging. The last three weeks had been grueling. Jake and I were currently scrubbing the kitchen floor with toothbrushes. Felix was monitoring us while he played Dragon Age and drank a beer. I wanted to throw the toothbrush at him. Between school work, lack of sleep from all the hot steamy dreaming, and now scrubbing the floors on a daily basis, I was beat.

Then the reason why I kept pushing walked in. Carlisle was in a pair of black slacks, white button down shirt, with a green tie hanging loosely around his neck. He came over to greet us and praised us on the fine work we were doing. He bent down to our level and chatted with us. I had no idea what he was saying. I was lost in his smell, a mixture of Carlisle and cologne I've never smelt before. Jake noticed my sniffing and plucked me. Carlisle reminded us of our duties for tonight's Nu Alpha Tau-o-Ween. We nodded and I watched him stand gracefully and excuse himself to his room.

"Damn Edward!" Jake threw his toothbrush at me. "I thought you were going to crawl into his lap and eat him." We laughed, and I couldn't honestly deny his charge.

"Do you know the name of the cologne he was wearing?" I almost pleaded. I wasn't above spraying it on my pillow. Dork, I know.

A dork in love though. All this time I had been trying to deny it, but I couldn't any longer. I knew from the first moment I'd met him that he had my heart. However, he was with Platt, and very, very straight. It didn't matter that I noticed him sometimes staring, or if we had become friends that both loved reading medical journals before bed. We agreed that Ren & Stimpy was the best cartoon of all time!

Argh! Obsessing about this again was not going to help.

"Ha! I knew you were sniffing him. It is called 'Black' by rue21. Not really my kind of scent." Jake shrugged and I made a mental note to buy a bottle.

Jake and I got up and began to prepare the house for the night's party. The probies had to do everything. We were decorating, getting the food and drink, cleaning up, and making sure no one under twenty-one was drinking. It was like a fulltime job. We called the remaining guys to get things done. After three weeks, there were only nine of us left, so we had our hands full. The down part of tonight was that we had to come dressed as female leading horror characters. I was pissed – I hated my legs and knew we most likely would end up in a dress. I may like men, but I was not into cross-dressing. Jake, however, was way too excited.

With the house done, Jake and I ran to the basement to change and get ready. My awesome roommate was channeling Elvira for the evening. He fluffed his hair and even added extensions. I shook my head so many times by the time he was fully done, that I had a neck cramp. I must admit, though, he came close. Too close. I, however, just bought something off the rack and "allowed" Jake to help my make-up. I had to kept showing Jake the picture. How could he not know Sally from "Nightmare Before Christmas"? I questioned whether he even had a childhood. There was no way I was putting on a damn wig – my hair was perfect for this, especially after I added a little bit of red highlight to it.

The probies met Carlisle upstairs for inspection of our costumes and to receive our duties for the evening. I got lucky – I was just assigned to music and was already prepared. I had made an awesome playlist for the evening, so I wouldn't even have to stand there. On top of our tasks, we were each in charge of our voucher for the evening, making sure they didn't over- indulge.

A while later, the party was well on its way, and a total success. Even though I was "working," I had a great time. Carlisle had reappeared as a classic vampire and I imagined him devouring my neck. He was the only one that got that I was Sally, saying that it was one of the best animated holiday films ever made. Really, if I could convert him, I totally would.

Jake and I even got a chance to share a dance together later. I didn't see Carlisle again until I saw him chatting with my brother, but I kept my distance and watched from afar. As I turned the corner more, I could see that Emmett was holding hands with a blonde girl and Carlisle had his arm around her, Esme Platt; she was smiling up at him like a good little future wife. She was never mean whenever she was here; in fact, she was always nice to me, maybe even nicer to me than the others.

I still didn't like her.

Emmett came over and said he was proud of me for holding my ground. We did a man hug and he nodded to Carlisle before leaving. I guessed they were good then.

Esme pulled Carlisle to the dance floor. She kissed his cheek and he blushed slightly. That was my blush you cock-blocking mega slut! Okay, I needed to calm down, but I couldn't. The music had switched to some Brazilian hip hop I found. I thought it was awesome yesterday, but I now wanted to burn it. Esme was all over Carlisle and he was smiling down at her. She would whisper to him from time to time. He was just swaying his hips, downing yet another drink. He had quite a few, now that I thought about it.

They danced for at least three straight songs. The more they danced, the angrier I got. Yet, my anger was thrown off by my worry. Carlisle had really drunk a lot tonight. Esme was grinding herself on Carlisle, her back to his chest. He was looking down at her, but then his eyes flashed towards me. I froze in my spot. These eyes were feral and I felt like he was reaching deep down within me. His gaze on me was intense as his hands started to move over Esme. I was imagining it was me he was touching instead. As Esme moved, and Carlisle's hands roamed, his eyes never left mine. Then I began to wonder again if Esme was just for show, or if this was me wishing for a reality that would never come.

The party was coming to an end. I asked Esme if she would be staying, but she said she had an early class, so I had one of the other probies escort her home. I needed to get Carlisle situated. After the house emptied, I found Carlisle lying on the pool table. Felix was semi-sober and told me that Carlisle hardly ever drank, and when he did, it was never this much. I took that information and stored it for later. Maybe something was wrong.

I lifted Carlisle up, and he was mumbling something I couldn't understand. I dragged him up to his room and sat him down on his bed. I took his shoes off first, but it was very hard, as Carlisle kept giggling. Carlisle started to run his fingers through my hair. I was a little shocked, and couldn't stop the moan that rolled out.

"It won't stay down," he slurred slightly. Carlisle was trying to tame my hair. I chuckled at his hopeless efforts.

"It has a mind of its own Big Brother Farmer," I told him. Carlisle laughed.

He tried to stand up to take his pants off. He was just not getting it, though, and ended up falling into me. I sat him back down and helped him out of his pants. I had always wanted to do this for him, but for entirely different reasons. I was sure he was going to puke on me before the night was over. That thought alone was helping me stay focused.

"You're such…a good probie." More slurring from Carlisle. I found it endearing.

"Thank you Big Brother Farmer." I smiled at him and continued my work.

Carlisle looked at me and searched my eyes for something. In that moment, he seemed so sober.

"So…so green." He breathed deeply and recited, "For half his flock were in their beds, or under green sods lay."

"Quoting Yeats to me now, Big Brother Farmer?" I laughed and took off the blasted cape that kept getting in the way. Next was his vest and fluffy white shirt. I left him in his black t-shirt and pumpkin boxers.

"We have lost two…no, three pledges. They weren't good. You… you make me so tired, Masen." He sighed and started to lie back on his bed.

"How do I do that, Big Bro…,"

"For the love of Christ. Why we chose to make you all say that is stupid. Call me Carlisle." He started to get settled in the bed and burrowed his head into his pillow. So cute. I went into his bathroom to get a glass of water and pain pills to sit by the bed. He would need them come morning. While in the bathroom, I quickly washed the damn makeup off my face. How women did it was beyond me. When I returned he was reminding me of his name.

"Carlisle it is then." I pulled the blankets up over him. I watched him as he started to drift. He was beautiful. I had turned to leave when I felt a hand grab me.

"Hmm, stay," Carlisle spoke softly. I made my way closer to him to make sure I heard him right.

Carlisle then pulled me down to kiss him. It was nothing like in my dream, nothing like it at all. It was better. It was like an eruption of every feeling I had in me. It was more passionate, with an edge to it. A roughness that felt like a desire that had been locked away. We finally broke for air and I was on a high.

"Nite nite, Edward." He passed out and I was left standing there, dumbfounded.

"It's official. I'm dead," I said, sinking down beside his bed.

I was still shocked, but I stayed and watched him sleep.

A/N: The second to last chapter will be up next week. It will be Carlisle's take on things. Thanks for reading.