Title: Misery loves company

Author: cracon

Rating: R

Length: 490

Characters/Pairings: (romantic (but not really)) Hummelberry, unrequited Faberry, unrequited Kum, mentioned Fabrevans

Spoilers: oh dear, I think it's set somewhere around the christmas episode (Fabrevans is still together) of season 2, but I don't mention anything specific

Summary: They're not in love.

A/N: Compared to my other fics this is an angst fest. You have been warned. (The first time in months that I actually write and it's this? Please don't hate me.)


They're not in love.

They're not.

That's not what this is.

They love each other as friends, yes, but they're both in love with other people.

(That's the crushing reality every time Rachel urges Kurt to move faster, to pump just a little bit harder into her.)

It also feels a lot like cheating (whenever Kurt angles his hips a certain way and she rocks back against him, whimpering when he nips at her neck), if it weren't for the fact that they're both single and the people they're in love with are together.

It feels like they should've waited, maybe; for what, they're not sure. Because they're pretty certain Quinn and Sam aren't waiting for anything. Or anybody. And why should they, really.

It tears open the freshly scarred wounds Rachel has on her heart every time she sees Quinn kissing Sam in the hallways and in Glee, giving him a loving smile before turning around, asking her if she wants to see a movie with her, because they're friends now, and because Sam has football practise that evening.

It makes Kurt want to pull his hair out or burn his Marc Jacobs collection or kick a chair (a sure-fire sign to spend less time with his stepbrother) every time Sam confides in him when he plans to do something with Quinn, or to her. But because they're friends he grins and bears it, giving him pointers so he won't mess up with his girlfriend.

(The words "just friends" echoing through their minds makes them bite down on the other's lips just a tad rougher, makes them push and pull just that much more firmly, leaving bruises in their wake.)

It's love that brought Rachel and Kurt together, certainly, but not the burning passion for each other.

(Rachel's fingernails leave angry red marks on Kurt's back when their pace gets frantic.)

It's desperation, the need to know that they're not completely alone in this (they're not, they're close). For all the talking they're doing during the day they're both incredibly bad when it comes to expressing their feelings without musical quotes or songs.

They're sick of singing all day. This is the next best thing they can offer each other for comfort when stumbling over even the simplest words isn't enough.

Finn doesn't understand, he never did. He pretty much steers clear of them these days.

(Kurt's almost religious skincare regiment makes it easy for Rachel to imagine that the smooth cheek she's pressed against is actually Quinn's. Rachel's lips are so soft that there's no doubt left in Kurt that they're like Sam's.)

No one understands them and their plight like they do.

(They both come, silently, biting back the names they really want to whisper (yell, scream from the rooftops, write in the sky), a few errand tears sliding down their cheeks.)

They're not in love.

(They just are in these moments.)

They are hopelessly in love.