A/N: What is this, a naughtyStyle fic!?

Errbody be 18+.



"I just feel a little left out," he said before taking another swig of the cheap beer Kenny had lifted from his dad. The blonde was watching him pensively but Stan didn't care.

Rescuing the bottle Stan was nursing, Kenny took a deep draw. Tasted like piss if he was being honest.

"They do this; you know that," he sighed, looking sidelong at Stan while the other boy's shoulders slumped. "You know Cartman could never replace you."

"Yeah, well I'm beginning to think I could never replace Cartman either."

"Don't be a dip-shit," retorted Kenny in annoyance. "Kyle's pissed at him right now."

Glaring at the blond, he tried to wrestle the beer back. "That just means they're going to get weird and obsess over each other."

"UST," Kenny stated sagely.

"Can you not fucking kick me when I'm down, please?"

Groaning, Kenny relinquished the beer. "So glad to be part of your pity party man, so honored."

"Shut up."

The front door slammed and they both whirled around to see Kyle standing in the doorway.

Stan was left gaping while Kenny jumped up to greet their friend with as little awkwardness as possible considering that he and Stan were holed up in Kenny's living room with PBR, sans pants.

Waving Kenny's offer of a PBR off, Kyle looked around. "Is Fatass here?" He sounded irritated.

"No, he's not," Stan snapped. "So leave."

Arms akimbo, Kyle refocused his attention on the other boy. "What the the fuck is your problem?"

"Hmm, let's see," Stan raged sarcastically, leaping to his feet and only swaying slightly. Though Kenny still stood close enough to make a valiant attempt to catch him if he were to fall. "My fucking problem has a stupid green hat, stupid red hair and has a stupid obsession with Cartman!"

"Smooth," Kenny mumbled, facepalming.

Kyle sputtered, "I don't have a fucking obsession with the fatass!"

"You are hanging out a lot. And still fighting," Kenny added helpfully. "It's like you're an old marri-"

"DON'T SAY IT," Stan wailed. "Kenny, you used to call me and Kyle an old married couple!" He threw his empty can of PBR at Kenny's head. The blond didn't even have to dodge as the can completely missed him and instead bounced harmlessly off the couch. "Well, I'm not just going to stand by-"

"More like sway drunkenly by," Kenny snorted.

"-while you shit all over your super best friend!" Stan dragged his sleeve across his nose, sniffling pathetically. "We were supposed to be together 5-ever, Kyle."

"Stan," said Kyle, stunned.

Marching up to his super-best friend, Stan grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and yanked him forward. "You know what? I'm gonna prove to you right here and now that the only person you should have UST with is me." Eyes going to Kyle's parted lips, Stan dove in and captured them passionately in a searing kiss. Kyle's hands snapped up to grab his shoulders and Stan wound his arms around the redhead's back, pulling them flush together. He tilted his head, angling his mouth to reach deeper, moaning when Kyle opened beneath him, their tongues winding in a flurry of heat.

"That isn't technically, 'U' ST, Stan" Kenny weakly interjected. He stared, dumbfounded, as Kyle and Stan wrapped further around each other, Stan hitching Kyle's leg up over his hip while the redhead continued to pant and moan. "Guys," Kenny interrupted loudly, voice strained. "Uh, guys? My house, remember?" He squawked as Stan wrestled Kyle to the floor, pushing aggressively between the boy's legs while Kyle violently ripped Stan's shirt over his head. "My floor. Guys!"

It didn't take long for Kenny to realize that Kyle and Stan had completely forgotten he was there. And after a bit longer he decided he didn't mind in the least. Plopping himself down on the couch, he cracked open another can and settled in to watch Stan prove just how well he could resolve sexual tension.

THE END /dies

A/N: For anyone who might not know, UST is "unresolved sexual tension". ; p