All rights and characters belong to Suzanne Collins. Also, I have used some quotes from the book in my story.
The Way She Broke His Heart
"It was all for the Games," Peeta said. "How you acted."
"Not all of it," Katniss admits.
"Then how much? No, forget it. I guess the real question is what's going to be left when we get home?" Peeta asked, looking into her eyes.
"I don't know. The closer we get to District 12, the more confused I get." Katniss said.
Peeta waited for her to say more, but she didn't. "Well, let me know when you work it out," He said, his pain pouring out of his voice. He didn't wait for Katniss to say anything this time; he just walked back towards the train, and climbed aboard.
He silently strode to his room, brushing past the servants and not giving Haymitch and Effie a second glance as he passed the dining car. When he got to his room he let the door glide shut and then he pressed the lock button. He sat down on his bed and stared out the window without really looking at anything.
He was so stupid. How could he have thought that Katniss had truly loved him? He knew that there was something going on between her and Gale, and he shouldn't have believed that she'd toss that away for him.
She was a great actress. The way she looked at Peeta made his stomach do flips. The things she said to Peeta made his heart swell. But everything he had said to her, everything he felt towards her… that was real. It was so real it ached. He loved her so much.
But Katniss was acting to get them sponsers. She was indifferent towards him when his feelings were genuine. It was humiliating, actually, to have been so in love with someone who turned out to have been faking the feelings that you genuinely felt for them. Somewhere deep down, no matter how much he was hurting right now, Peeta knew that she was doing what she had to do to survive, even if she used him. She used his feelings and made a story that she was blinded by their "love" and she didn't want to live without him. She just didn't want to kill him.
Now though, he wasn't sure what he felt about her. Was it love any longer? How could he love someone that had fooled them so badly? A person that Peeta had shared so many things with now made him feel hollow. Was it possible to go from absolutely in love to absolutely broken so quickly? Even if he didn't want to admit it, he knew he'd still love Katniss once he calmed down. He'd loved her since he was five, how could he stop now? Even if she'd used him and his feelings, he really had seen her heart. She volunteered for her sister to protect, she saved Peeta and had taken care of him, and she had gotten them both out alive. He may have fallen for her harder after the Games.
Peeta buried his face in his hands. How would he feel when he saw Katniss? He hoped that he wouldn't feel as bad as he did now. He wanted to be left alone for a while. When one feels as awful as this, the only thing that can help them is solitude. And that's what he wanted; no one to talk to him about anything, leaving him alone to his thoughts and allowing him to sort out his feelings. He curled up on his bed, not bothering to change his clothes, and lay there until he somehow managed to fall asleep.
Peeta didn't come out of his room until they arrived back at District 12. When he did, he saw Katniss and offered a nod. He felt emotionless, and he was sure that his face showed it. They stood there watching the station come closer. He didn't say anything to her until the train stopped.
Peeta knew that they still had to act like they were in love, so he extended his hand out to Katniss. She looked at him, unsure. "One more time? For the audience?" he said hollowly.
She reached out and grasped his hand tightly, surprising Peeta a bit. He looked over and studied her face. She looked distressed. Her brow was creased, her mouth set in a small pout, and her eyes were desperate. Peeta knew that she knew something was wrong; felt that something was wrong with him. Why would she care about that? Hadn't she just done what Haymitch told her to do? Hadn't she just done what she did to stay alive?
Yes, Peeta told himself. No matter what he thought or felt then, he had to move forward and forget that it ever happened. He needed to stop dwelling on this and face the fact that Katniss didn't and wouldn't ever return his feelings. He had to pretend like nothing had ever happened, and that life would go back to normal.
No matter how much it hurt he just couldn't remember the way she had broken his heart.