Something about Dan was different, it hadn't been a sudden change, it had been a gradual slide into someone else. He wasn't sure if Dan even knew it himself, but Phil could see it. There was a war going on inside him and even if he wanted to, Phil couldn't fight it for him.

There were the good things, like the way the corners of Dan's mouth would lift up when Phil said his name and the electricity between them in a quiet room. There were days however, when Dan would lock himself in his room for hours at a time and times when he looked like he had something so important to say but could never quite find the right words or the right time to say it.

With every shift in Dan, Phil could feel himself changing as well. Phil couldn't help himself, sometimes he would catch himself watching the way Dan moved. He wasn't as awkward or clumsy as he thought. There was a fluidity in his movements that pulled at Phil's heart and then there were the scary things. Sometimes during Dan's absence it cause Phil physical pain in his chest and made it hard to breathe. Even worse, were the times that Phil entertained the idea that physically harming himself would drown out everything else he felt.

At night, Phil would lie in bed with thoughts of Dan wearing a hole in his head he would close his eyes tightly, hoping to God that he was dreaming. The carefully placed facade that Phil had been been wearing for months was cracking and every time Dan looked at him and smiled another crack appeared.

Dan spent the majority of the time on his room pacing back and forth fighting with his thoughts. Despite his best efforts, he was loosing the battle and he had no idea how to cope with what he felt. He had to escape, he could handle this anymore. There was a bottle of whiskey sitting in the bottom kitchen cabinet and he was going to abuse it. He kept refilling his glass over and over, waiting for the liquor to put out the fire he was sitting in. He sat there in the floor whispering to himself, "I know you can't hear me, but I need you to save me tonight."

Phil woke to the sound of breaking glass. He walked into the kitchen to find Dan sitting with his head between his knees surrounded by broken glass and smelling strongly of alcohol.


Dan lifted his head and his chocolate almond shaped eyes widened.

"Phil" he whispered.