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I started out with nothin'... just a kid from the streets, with nothin' to lose. Then I met Julius, and everything changed. Once I joined the 3rd Street Saints, everything started going my way. I'd run some jobs, get paid, and lady luck was on my side. But something happened, everything changed…Again. I found myself fucked in a boat explosion and I fell asleep for five years. When I woke up, I reunited my crew and went back on the mission, and I retook Stilwater for myself.
Then I started getting sloppy, forgot what life as a gangbanger was, then I lost a lot because of it. I used to market clothes, sell coffee mugs and even advertised an energy drink for fuck's sake…I went on to avenge what I lost, met a lotta more people, and upped my game in this world. Before I knew it, I was the capo of an international crime organisation.
Now I'm sitting on my podium, looking back at everything that has happened, and now, I'm full of regrets. There's so much shit that I could have done better, so many people I could have saved, and so many others that I could have killed sooner…But now, maybe…
Maybe now, I have a chance…Maybe now, I have the time...
"I'm here Kinzie…"
"Good, it's ready."
It's been a while since I last heard from anyone in the crew, well actually it's been a while since I've actually heard from anyone for that shit. After what happened with the statue, and Cyrus and Killbane, I can't think straight anymore…I've put Pierce in charge of running the city, making sure that everything stays ok, and since I haven't heard anything from him, he must be doing a damn good job. Oleg, Angel, I haven't seen them all for about a month; just kept myself in the penthouse, calling for saints to get me food and alcohol to stay alive…I can't face the outside world again; I've become a sellout. Over the course of six months in Steelport, I let three of my strongest gang members, and deepest friends, die for me…No, die for us all. Johnny…Shaundi…Viola, they're all dead and I could have done something; might have made shit worse or made life better, but I still could have fucking done something…At least now, I could wake up in the morning and know that I at least tried, that I actually proved to the world that I gave a damn 'bout my friends, but now, most of the world just looks at me like a sellout.
I took a shower and found some clean clothes; I barely ever moved from those chairs or bothered to look after myself; before today, what was the point? It would have just been a reminder about what has happened…I put some clean clothes on and managed to make myself look normal; well, normalish, I looked like my old self but inside, I was constantly stabbing myself. I was doing anything, to keep a reminder of what happened, what they did, what I did…
So that I'd never forget them, not now, not ever…
I looked at the phone on the table; had a lot of dust on it but it still somehow worked…I looked at the contacts list and found all my friends on it, well, the friends that were still alive…Every time I got around to deleting Johnny's, Shaundi's and Viola's numbers, I'd just throw the phone down in disgust...Why the fuck should I wipe them off my phone, as if they're just a memory I want to fucking forget? I saw Pierce's number at the top and began ringing him; Pierce may have been a pussy every now and then but I knew him well, I trusted him well, and I could depend on him well…
"Boss? Shit man, how are you? What's 'appening man?"
"Pierce…Kinzie's done it…It's finally done…"
"You're sure? She ain't just getting your hopes up?"
"More sure than anything…"
"Alright man…I'll come and get you from the crib-"
"I may not get out much Pierce, but I still remember where Kinzie's warehouse is…I'll see you there-"
"Boss…A lot has changed in Steelport over the past month…You won't know your way around these streets anymore…I'll come and pick you up."
'A lot has changed'? Fucking seriously? I don't like being babysitted, but I guess I have no choice. Within ten minutes, I saw Pierce pull up outside in a purple limousine and I went out to greet him; he looked really different, I guess his position as mayor of Steelport has really gotten to him, or at least, the power. He dressed in his old white suit but had a purple shirt with a black tie, and had replaced his old hat with a white fedora; he may be the mayor but he is still a Saint, and he still kept his taste in the gang's colours…We shook hands then hugged each other since it's been so long, and got into the limo, and I looked out through the windows towards Steelport; it looked like both Los Angeles and Las Vegas somehow had a child. Every single street had a small casino, with the purple, white and gold decals all over the seemingly normal urban houses, and skyscraper after skyscraper after skyscraper. I couldn't believe what I was seeing at first until I looked out towards the other islands, and saw lots of smoke rising towards the sky. Then I realised something; Pierce massively improved all of the industries in the city.
"You like what's been done with Steelport?"
"You've put a lot of emphasis on the name Pierce…"
"With Steelport a city-state, we've either had to beg or steal from other countries for food which didn't work out originally…Then we just, decided to make everything ourselves-"
"And in doing so, you've put God knows how many factories and shit across Steelport, but you've also turned the Downtown district into an amusement park…It's as if Las Vegas had a one-night stand with Los Angeles, and had an unwanted child-"
"-You don't like it?"
"It doesn't look like a city Pierce…It looks tacky…Looks like what Ultor did to Saints Row…"
Pierce was silent after I told him that; he must have been hurt inside after my criticism but he had to take it; he needed to learn from it. Block after block, streetcorner after streetcorner, all I saw were flashy lights from the rooftops, pimps and hos on the corners all doing as they pleased and cops running around in purple police uniforms, dancing and not giving a damn at all. Sure when I saw a robbery taking place, the cops did something, but it didn't feel the same…It felt…Out of touch.
The drive was taking too long, it was making me think too much. I sat whilst Pierce opened a bottle of wine and started drinking early, looking out of the window and thinking about everything that had happened, everything that I lost…
"Boss! You need to bail!"
"No! Not without you! We've all got to stick together-No one gets left behind!"
"But...I can take 'em…"
"Johnny…You don't have to-"
"-Go! I got this!"
"Johnny! We're about to jump!"
"Right on…I'll see you in Stil-"
His face, his face when I last saw him…It was bright and full of delight; he had spent far too long before getting to fight again, like really fight again, against another bunch of assholes who were trying to prove themselves. Gat was my right hand, the one man I could trust with my life…When I was in my coma, he tried to take care of everything himself; he tried to round up all the remaining saints, led them into hiding, tried to keep hold of all the money that they had. But man by man, they were all killed or busted; Johnny couldn't do everything on his own, he could try, but he couldn't…
That's what killed him in the end…
"So what do we do now?"
"What's next is you go back to Stilwater…This is going to get messy, and you don't need to get involved..."
"What? No! This is my fight too! I'm doing this for Johnny!"
"Gimme the Goddamn gun Pierce!"
"Boss, with Johnny gone, we need a new right hand man!"
"Pierce…It's too soon to have another right hand man; Johnny was the best at that…But that doesn't mean we can't have a right hand woman!"
"Really? You mean it!? You think I'm ready for it?"
"I don't think Johnny would have wanted anyone else, Shaundi…It's your time now!"
"What he did to Johnny's funeral…That's over the fucking limit!"
Shaundi…God I was too harsh on that girl; I remember when I first recruited her…She was young, sometimes shy and sometimes outgoing depending whether she was high or drunk or whatever, and strived to prove herself. She had her own ways of getting information on other gangs, and getting shit done; I never liked it and always wanted her to work like Pierce or Carlos, but her ways were more...Effective. She always knew how to take advantage of the unloved bitches that she needed to pull, all she needed was a sombrero and some tequila...After she got knocked out by Veteran Child, I lost faith in her which really pissed her off. I didn't bring her along on most of the jobs on taking down the Sons of Samedi, and starting giving more attention to Pierce, which really ticked her right off...Even after we retook Stilwater, and after I started bringing her along on more jobs, she still felt the need to prove herself to me, to Johnny, to the Saints, and anybody who thought she was weak. And hell did she prove herself to us…
She fucking gave her life for us, she gave her life just to avenge Johnny's...
"Look, I'm not here to fight...We need to work together...I can help you."
"Right, right...Johnny's dead because of you! Because of you, your sister, and your fucking French Boss!"
"Johnny's dead – Because he thought he could do everything on his own!"
"So what's in it for you, Viola?"
"I get to watch Killbane suffer…My sister's dead, Loren's dead, and Matt will probably be dead in a couple of weeks...The Syndicate isn't anything anymore..."
"We'll make them all pay, Boss…For Johnny, for Kiki..."
"My name's Viola, Pierce! Remember the Goddamn name!"
"Just gimme a fucking chance!"
Viola; she was a very troubled one in the gang. She was once one of my enemies, and was prepared to kill us all for her employers. She might have actually killed Johnny, or helped put the final bullet in him, or just stood and watched him bleed out...But, revenge isn't everything, I know that now. Sure, I still have morals and what Viola did was wrong to all of us, but she knew that and didn't show any desire to kill Gat...She wasn't a true gangbanger at the start, just a hitgirl for hire for Loren...But after the death of her sister, she realised that money wasn't everything, and that she needed loyalty and friends more than money and power, and so she came to the Saints, and we gave her the home she needed. She wasn't a member for a long time, but when I knew her, she could definitely handle herself in those gunfights…Whenever I saw her fighting, she'd seem reckless at times, always prepared to give anything just to piss off her enemies.
She was suicidal; after her sister's death, she couldn't give a damn about anything, but revenge…If she lived longer, she would have learned that revenge wasn't always worth it; she wouldn't have made the same mistakes I had made...
As I thought about the three Saints that I lost to the Syndicate and STAG, I realised that it wasn't just those three friends that I could save with what I was about to use today; I could change everything. I could save every single one of the friends I lost; Lin, Carlos, Aisha, I could save the Saints from all of its downfalls…Stop Dex from going to Ultor, stop Johnny from getting arrested…Stop Julius from blowing me up on that goddamn boat, and sending the Saints to the ground. Every single mistake I have ever made, whether it was letting Johnny get kidnapped by the Vice Kings, or killing any of my enemies quicker or sooner than later; Fuck, I could do anything I wanted with what I'm about to see…The endless possibilities…
"Seriously, movie deals, commercials?
Saints name used to mean something more than body spray and some ass-tasting energy drink!"
"I had him – I fucking had him!"
"They failed you Johnny…But I never will…I'm your number one fan!"
All of a sudden, I thought myself in this old arena with fire circling around me; it looked like the colosseum in Rome…I heard roars coming from all around me, but I couldn't see anybody around me. The fire and the screams were getting louder, and I was getting pissed.
"Get the fuck out of here, pussy!"
"Oh I'm the pussy, am I Boss?"
"You fucking sellout…We're all think you're a fucking disgrace. Eesh, Lin, Carlos, Shaundi, Viola...You're a fucking embarassment to the Saints...You'll pay for what you did, what you did in our name!"
"What I did!? Johnny! Johnny, I did what I could do, there was nothing more-"
"But it's what you did, that fucking got me in the ground! You sat on your ass for months, signing autographs and licking other people's asses…Then when you had to step back up and rob a fucking bank, you couldn't even do that right!"
"That wasn't…My fault…"
"Really? When did we ever try to rob a bank like that before? When did we go and shoot some guys, then sign an autograph to a random fan-bitch! When did we ever use a fucking skycrane to steal a fucking vault out of the Barrios? Boss, the Saints stood for more than this! You've become what you've always hated…All you care about is making sure your head is above the water…
You've become a lot like Dex, a lot like Julius even-"
"Don't fucking say that Johnny! I know, we abused our fame, and forgot what we were supposed to do…But one of my new friends has built something – She's going to help me fix all of this!"
"Will it even matter, will we ever forget about the mess you made?"
"You had the chance to fully avenge Johnny, to get revenge on all of the Syndicate, and set things right. But you didn't. You let Miller live just for some fucking discounts, bought your fucking territory instead of wiping out the bitches in it, and you didn't even kill Hughes after she sent a goddam airboat after you!"
"Shaundi…I did avenge Johnny…And I avenged you and Viola…I did everything I could have…I killed all the bitches that fucked us over; Matt was just a kid, he couldn't do shit to us even with his techno-shit, I made sure all of the Syndicate were out of Steelport and I'll get around to Hughes on day. Shaundi – I did everything I could!"
"You didn't have to go after Killbane…You could have just told Pierce, or Oleg, or Zimos or anybody to help Angel finish off Killbane, then gone to save us…Or you could have just been a man and sent Pierce and Oleg to save us while finishing off Killbane!"
"Viola…Things were more complicated than that..."
"But no, you had to be the drama queen you are, and had to make 'that hard decision'. And what did we get afterwards? A toast. You had a fucking party after Killbane died, and you gave a few words on Gat and Shaundi-"
"You're wrong! I did what I had to do! If I saved you, would you have been happy that I let Killbane get away, after all the times you were prepared to sacrifice yourself just to kill him? And would you have been happy Shaundi? And Gat, you would have done the same thing…You'd be pissed off about it for a while like I was, but you would have done the same…"
That shut the three of them up for a while, but they didn't give up, they were still pissed off for what had happened, and the fire grew stronger, and I was handcuffed to the ground. I fell and could barely kneel, but as I looked forward, I could see every single person I have ever killed; the Alderman, Julius…And everyone who had died because of me.
There were a lot of people.
I screamed and begged to be release, but they didn't listen, and brought out the knives. Carlos took out one knife and slit my left cheek with it, then Julius walked over and began trying to tear all of my fingers off. Before I knew it, everyone was standing above me, kicking me into the ground, and I could barely breathe as my mouth was filled with soil. I could feel my face burning off the heat, and my arms being trapped by the soil, then the worms eating my skin…All that shit for this? They didn't even hold a funeral for me; a few words, a few smirks and they all walked off into the fire…I couldn't let them do that to me, after all this, I couldn't just lie there and grovel, I couldn't!
I FUCKING COULDN'T!
"Boss? Boss! Wake up, we're here!"
"Pierce…I'm out of time…We have to do this now…Make the peace...And end the questions..."
"Shit, where are your pills? You're not having the nightmares again are you?"
"So what if I am? I have a lot of…Demons, to face…"
"But most of them ain't your fault!"
"Johnny…Shaundi…Viola…Carlos…Aisha…Lin…They were all my fault...I could have saved them all..."
"NO! Just forget about them man, you have to move on!"
"How can I ever move on?"
"Maybe what will happen today will help with that…Now let's go and meet Kinzie!"
"Alright, let's see how everyone is…."
Pierce handed me another bottle of those damn pills, and I pretended to take some when he walked ahead of me, but I spat them back out to the ground. I didn't want to forget about any of them, not now, not ever, even if their deaths were my fault…They were my responsibility, I was their leader, and I failed them...Even that fucking nerd, Jimmy, knew what I've fucking done. The warehouse looked bigger than I had remembered and there were a lot of neon purple and light blue lights all over the warehouse, presumably Kinzie had decided to pimp out the warehouse…She must be getting more sociable and 'Normal'. I walked in, and saw all the younger saints working and moving computer stuff around; a few of them stopped and stared at me for a bit, then whispered to each other, then walked away after Piece glared at them. Stuck up bastards. There were a lot of soldering equipment and lots of scraps of metal as well as some small sparks of fire in the air, and the smell of crispy remains of machinery in the air. And there was also…Pancakes? Pancakes and syrup? Wow, Kinzie really is opening up a lot more, I wonder if it is Oleg that's getting her to do that...
They were all standing in the centre of the warehouse, all grouping around the machine. Angel, Kinzie, Oleg, Tag and Zimos. Angel was wearing some kind of boxing robes that would be worn before a wrestler went into the ring; they were purple with the same decals as on his mask, meaning that he has been fighting a lot again in the ring. Kinzie had straightened her hair and unbuttoned her FBI jacket, and let the purple hoodie underneath emerge; huh, it was what teachers would call a 'metaphor', if I knew much about literature back at school. Oleg pretty much looked the same, he never changed the way he looked or acted, same old Oleg that I could trust. Tag was wearing a newer jacket and pair of jeans that fit him, the armholes were sown properly to fit his size and he looked more sophisticated; he stood in a formal manner and sounded a lot more like the real Johnny, but it wasn't exactly the same…This shit was just creepy, but I just couldn't turn him away, he was what remained of my best friend, could I really let that go? Could I really just put that down and pretend that it never happened? And then there was Zimos, whom looked a little older, but his taste in clothing wasn't as his jacket was a brighter purple, and he was holding a pimp cane shotgun as well as his auto-tuner.
"It's been a while, Boss, the machine is ready."
"You're sure Kinzie? I don't want to get my hopes up for nothing…"
"No…It is definitely ready. Ever since you gave us the word to do this after you killed Cyrus, I've had the smartest of the Saints working in here. To be honest, we've never actually left the warehouse; we had other guys coming in with takeaways and drinks for us, and all we've done is focused on getting this done. I admit; I'm stunned by how this worked – Newly discovered energy sources, technological advancements that I could never have prepared for, and the endless possibilities that we could use this for – It is life-changing."
"Yeah, um…What exactly is it Boss?"
"I'll get to that Pierce-"
"He has a point, keeping secrets within your own armouries and with specific members leads to many different scenarios…And most of them are very destructive for us. You really shouldn't have needed to keep this from us Kinzie, from me…"
"I'm sorry Oleg, but it had to be done."
"And with that aside, are you going to tell us what this is all about?"
"More stripper poles?"
"Fine Angel, I'll tell you, I'll tell you all. As you remember, Killbane sent his Luchadores to destroy all of Steelport, and Cyrus fought back hard. In the middle of it all, we joined in the fight, and did everything we could. We thought we were actually going to die, but we managed to survive. Killbane was trying to leave Steelport whilst that bitch Kia had Shaundi, Viola and Reynolds tied up at the statue on Magarac Island, rigged to blow…
I had a choice; a choice to either let Killbane go and save the three, or get revenge on him for everything that has happened and let my friends die. In the end, I saved another one of my friend before he got killed, and we went on to finish off Pryor…Their deaths were not in vain, and we finished off all of the old business. Then I realised something; we could have done so much more. We could have handled the situation better, done so much better, fuck it; done a lot of shit better. But today, none of that matters. If Kinzie is right in what she has said, then we'll have the chance to correct every single one of our mistakes…
The time machine – Is ready!"
They were silent for a while; Oleg scrunched his eyes up and rubbed his eyes whilst Kinzie looked towards him in a troubled state, Pierce was moving his head back and forth as he kept on mumbling "Get the fuck outta here…", Zimos was laughing beyond belief as he too was excited with what we could do and Angel calmly smiled at what he had heard, and gave a cool nod towards me. It's nice to see that at least some of my crew are happy with the choices that I'm making...
"A fucking time machine?"
"I know, I know…But think of it Pierce; to go through all of our biggest mistakes and be able to save those who died; if we went back in time, we could save Shaundi and Viola, whilst past us kills Killbane!"
"It is a good idea, I'll admit-"
"Good? Good? Mexy, it's a mightay fai-ine idea!"
"It will not work…"
"How so Oleg?"
"Time travelling is enwrapped with multiple paradoxes and difficulties; if one simply removes an action in the past, then all of the consequences of that action will cease to exist. Then one must question as to whether or not the action that drove the time-traveller to travel back in time would happen…And then the complications increase heavily from that point onwards."
"What did that book said I was reading earlier this week about time travelling? Oh yes; 'Step on a butterfly, then the children of that butterfly will cease to exist, and eventually, the butterfly species will become extinct in the future'. Actions, have consequences. And these brutal actions, will have devastating consequences…We are talking, not just devastation within this city or across America, but across all of Earth, and maybe across the whole of our galaxy…"
"Oleg, I have known you for a long time, and your intellect has been your one quality that I have never questioned. But I need this. I need to know whether this is something I could do to save my friends. I need to experience every single opportunity I can have, and see whether or not my friends can still be saved. Imagine the greatest failure in your whole life; imagine it eating away at you for years and months…How far would you be prepared to go to stop it?"
"A FUCKING TIME MACHINE?"
I burst out laughing with the rest of the crew as despite the long debate, Pierce was still in shock at the very creation of the time machine.
"Kinzie, I know your super smart and everything, but how the hell did you manage to get this to even work?"
"I'm glad you asked-"
"Nice one Pierce…"
"Oh ha ha…With the large expansion in the empire, I've sent hundreds of Saints across the globe, unearthing and stealing things that could be of use. Rare elements, strongly built gadgets, we even discovered a couple of new elements ourselves…Bringing everything together was not easy, but it eventually worked, and all of the energy sources fused together. Electricity, geothermal sources, these nth metal remains…All renewable and non-renewable sources combined together…To create the ultimate source of energy…"
"So…It works then?"
"Yeah, it works Pierce…"
"Then let's get down to it!"
I jumped into the small machine and watched as Tag and Oleg brought the front and back of the metallic box together, and the neon-light blue and yellow electricity lines ran through the box. I thought for a moment that this was just a joke; it looked too small to be a time-travelling machine. All the movies either had the time machine to be a whole car, or a seat with a spinner, or even a freaking hot-tub. This was just a small box that I sat in with flashy lights, was this the real thing?
"Recognition required. System analysis processing"
"The fuck is this Kinzie?"
"It's just making sure that it's you and not somebody else…I wanted to make sure that the security was good before letting this loose; who knows what could have happened."
"Good thinking Kinzie, and incidentally, how am I even talking to you?"
"Small micro-speakers placed within the grid inside the time-box. I amplified the loudness of me speaking through them by upgrading the energy transformer for me to speak through-"
"Ok, ok, it works, that's all you need to know…"
"Good…I'm not out of time anymore!"
"Nope…your actually within it!"
"System analysis complete. Please enter the wished date, time zone and exact place for time-travel."
I had to think for a while what I wanted to do first; who I wanted to save first or kill first, and what I really wanted to use the machine first for. It was slightly scary as the control panel thing just appeared out of nowhere on the bright white screen in front of me, and for a while, everything around me made me feel like I was dead. The whole spiritual feeling I was getting only made me more excited, and it was then that I realised what I had done.
I had the power to bend time to my will. I HAVE THE POWER!
"Um…I want to go five years in the past…Yeah, the day that Julius set up that bomb on the boat, the day that the Saints died, the day I got sent into a fucking coma! Alright, I think it was…September 1st, 2006?"
..It was silent for a while, then I heard sparks, and the screen in front of me started turning from a bright white to a dark red. It looked and kind of felt like I was getting shot in the gut, and then in the back of the head…I heard the frantic tapping of laptops and the sound of Pierce bitching like his usual self.
"Damn it! What the hell is wrong with this thing!?"
"Kinzie…The fuck is happening?"
"It's…It's malfunctioning…I built this machine and hacked through all the databases and files of thousands of governments across the world in the past month; no one on Earth has built something like this before…I-I've tested a lot of theories, and one of them strongly suggests that if two people try to time-travel in two separate machines, the end results are disastrous."
"But…Who would be trying to build a time-machine?"
"Is that really a question Angel?"
"But you've said that no government files or databases have kept a record of such developments. What about criminal agency groups or even mercenaries across the globe?"
"I can't figure it out Oleg…I've checked through all the intel, had Saints sent across the globe and wiped out anyone who posed a threat to us…There isn't a single person alive who has in the past wanted to fight against us or shown an interest in time-travel that has actually been used to develop something good enough to actually work…"
"There will always be people wanting to fight against us Kinzie…"
The screen then turned a pale red, and the electricity was running through the box more thoroughly, and the electricity turned to a dark orange colour whilst the screen kept blinking one and off. At this point, I was panicking beyond belief; I couldn't feel my hands or even hear myself screaming for that matter, all the annoyance from outside was silence now.
All I could do was remember; remember what I was doing this for, and I remembered the risk that I took to do this. I then closed my eyes, and waited for the action to have a consequence.
"Date entry 'September 1st 2016' registered. Time-travelling sequence, activated."
"Wait what? No! NO!"
The box started to shake, and I could feel the vibrations and electricity running through my whole body, and every single fibre of my being shook violently with the time-travelling. This wasn't normal, the pain wasn't normal, what I was doing, was far from normal and like Oleg said, what I was doing was unethical. I could see the end of a vortex in front of me, and I could feel strong winds clashing with the skin on my face, and then the electricity grew until I closed my eyes and screamed. I screamed, and screamed, and screamed, until all of a sudden, it all stopped…
"Time travelling sequence, complete. Recharge time period required. 5 hour recharge time period required."
Fuck, it worked, it fucking worked. But not the way I planned; I wanted to go into the past and correct my mistakes, not go into the future…That would just cause more mistakes. The box opened, and I stretched my arms in delight and finally getting out of the damn thing, then kicked it for what it had done. Then I looked around the room and realised where I was; the warehouse, well, 2016 version of the warehouse. It was really, really dank; darker and filled with more spider-webs and rats than usual, but there was also no lights, no flashy purple lights like Kinzie had built. There were also a lot of holes in the walls of the warehouses, and all of the light in the room seemingly came from the cracks, until I looked towards Kinzie's room; the laptop light was on and I could see a familiar shadow standing tall.
I ran eagerly up the stairs to see what was happening, where my success had gotten me over these five years especially with my track record. The stairs were very creaky and I could see a lot of guns and ammo sprawled all over the steps, then I looked through the door. My jaw dropped and my eyes widened as I saw the familiar face; a large scar was across his entire face, he wore a jet black suit but with a purple Saint pendant and a purple Saint tattoo on his neck. His hair was slicked back and he had a small goatee underneath his stern mouth, and it was also slicked in a similar matter. I looked at his empty face, until it clenched with anger and frustration, then I paid more attention to who he was.
He was me, that broken, pissed off motherfucker was me.
"You…What are you doing here?"