Can I apologize?

After what seemed like months I thought my life was over until mello, mello solved all our problems "oh yeah Christmas is 3 days away you know what that means!" mello shouted I didn't bother to look up it didn't matter "alright suckers lunchtime" roger yelled I still stayed in place "river lunch" Matt poked me in the head "I'm OK" I whispered "alright but you gotta eat sometime" he groaned I continued to work on the puzzle it had been a gift from near last Christmas I could barely stand to look at yet touch it, it was taking all my will to not flinch and throw it away I stood up and walked to the room when I got there I fell to the bed and tried to sleep but it wasn't working I couldn't sleep anymore not with the nightmares I couldn't stand the nightmares not again I shivered beneath the comforter.

"HELL NO RIVER YOU ARE NOT SKIPPING DINNER GET YOUR ASS UP MOVE GOD DAMMIT!" mello shouted and when I didn't move he grabbed me the ankle and pulled me out "mello let me go" I mumbled he then pulled me up and over his shoulder "skipping meals isn't healthy you know" he stated I sighed "fine I'll go just put me down" I murmured he sat me down and quick as cat he pulled me down a hall. "Yo Matt you get him?" he whispered in to the darkness "yeah over here he ain't puttin' up much of a fight" came the reply with that mello dragged me over and pushed me into a closet locking the door behind me I looked into the dimly lit place only to see two piercing gray eyes "near!" I whispered backing up I slid against a wall "you two are gonna kiss and make up near your only making river feel bad take a close look at her and tell yourself is this how you want her to be because this is all your fault and you river explain to him about why you wrote that song oh and both of you look up" he snickered slightly at that part. I looked at near and he at me I saw his eyes widen at my stature I had grown very skinny, paler, had an un-healthy look to my face and bags under my eyes I looked up and couldn't believe my eyes sitting there taped was a very big sprig of mistletoe "that's right if you haven't looked up yet or don't know what it is it's mistletoe which means..." I got his meaning and so did near I wasn't going to do it but it's a tradition and I don't know what to do! I took a deep breath and tried to relax thinking screw it I'm gonna do it whether he likes it or not I have to know what his feelings are with that I closed with little space there was between us and pulled his head closer to mine taking his top lip as mine gently sucking on it I quickly got into a smoother pace going from one lip to another then I noticed that he had wrapped his arms around me pulling me closer and deepening the kisses we both pulled back breathless, as the tears slipped down my face "I'm sorry near I never meant to hurt you it wasn't about not thinking that you weren't enough it was about my mother she never loved me, never cared and then I lost my father please forgive me!" I cried burying my face into his shoulder "I'm the one who should be apologizing river I never should have jumped to such conclusions please forgive me?" that shouldn't have even been asked I smiled and kissed him again this time with more passion as he deepened it "I'll take that as a yes" he sighed heavily glad to have been reunited with his friend.

"Man now we sorta have a debt with mello" I thought out loud after taking a warm shower (by ourselves so don't get any ideas) I snuggled up to near on his bed "yes I believe we do don't we" he laughed well screw mello I got other things to worry about I thought and tugged at nears pajama shirt "wha..." I cut him off by pulling him closer tentatively kissing him he pulled me closer but broke the kiss "we need to talk river" inwardly I sighed but went along "what do you want to talk about?" I asked "us" should a seen that one coming I nodded "were is this going river I mean do really you know love me can you?" he whispered I smiled and looked up to him I grabbed his collar surprising him, wrapping my arms around I continued my attack on his lips "river hm river" he groaned damn it near stop talking and as if getting my message he stopped finally joining me we made-out for a good ten minutes "damn you two made up quickly or should I say made out" near pulled away "go away mello can't you see we're busy here?" he rolled his eys and walked out "near I'm going to sleep" I announced he nodded ,curling up under the blankets I drifted into a peaceful sleep.

I felt something warm on my back so of course I woke to inspect it, near was lying there absently rubbing my back "hey near is everything alright?" I asked startling him out of his thoughts he nodded and wrapped a arm around me pulling me closer "yeah it's fine just go back to sleep" he ordered "no not until you tell me what's wrong" I protested he sighed at my stubbornness "a stubborn girlfriend I should have known" he sighed "and what does that mean" I retorted though he escaped that question. Leaning over he kissed me on the forehead "just go back to sleep river" he smiled I rolled my eyes and curled up against him trying to fall asleep.