Hamza – Wednesday 11:00
It had been tense for about fifteen whole minutes since Hamza had entered the room. Sweets had decided to attend the party but that was not the reason for the tense atmosphere in the room.
"If I am going to be honest with you, professor, I was really not expecting that to happen." said Sweets.
"I don't think anybody was Doctor Sweets." said Hamza.
"Where are you staying?"
"In a hotel. Its two hundred and fifty dollars a night but I can afford it. Zainab doesn't want to see me at all. I don't blame her at all. She was humiliated."
"Have you talked to Kale about the incident?"
"I don't want to speak to him. He had no right to bust into my house and declare those things."
"Would you say he was doing you a favour by telling your family?"
"No. It was supposed to be for me to decide when and where I tell them. Now, I am an outcast among my own family."
"Okay. We both knew that either way would not benefit anyone, you especially, but would you say a truth is easier than a lie?" asked Sweets.
"The truth may be easier on my conscience, but it isn't any easier on my beliefs. I cannot be happy at all until I am happy with who I am now."
"Who you are now? You think that this is going to go away and you are going to live happily ever after?"
"No of course not. I know now that I cannot do anything about this. I can try but nothing can be done. This is who I am and I need to accept that."
"Would the religious you accept that?"
"Probably not. There will always be a conflict with my faith and my orientation. It is the way it is meant to be and will always be." said Hamza.
"You are right, many religions with an omniscient god believe that marriage should be between a man and woman, but today's society believes that anyone can get married. I read in a paper many years ago about a woman marrying herself to the Berlin Wall. The problem is America is still a rather conservative country. We still aim for the American dream of two point two children, marriage, and a white picket fence." said Sweets.
"There isn't a thing as the American dream. The American dream is for people like the governor who tried to become president in 2012 – the rich basically. What is left for those who are struggling? More work for less pay, with five children to support. That isn't what I would call a dream."
"What would be your dream?"
"I thought my dream was to be with my wife, my family, having a decent job and live to see the day where I can retire to a beach house in the Caribbean. I would not have any worries or cares in the world. I wish that there were no debate whether loving another man is right morally."
"Do you think that you will now pursue a relationship with a man?"
"If I am going to be honest Doctor Sweets, I deserve to be without a relationship. I used both Zainab and Kale, and I understand why they are both mad at me. I think I used you as well Doctor Sweets."
"I came to you in the hope you could cure me of these feelings, however I used you to help me come to terms with them."
"I think that is my job. I did say this was not a psychological problem. The most I could do was to guide you to the right decision for you. I think that you have made the decision not to pursue a relationship with anyone because of all this."
"Have you ever felt so guilty about something you did that you don't want to hurt anyone else because of it?"
"I suppose that makes sense. You can still have a relationship but you have to be honest with them."
"Doctor Sweets, I would like to thank you for the help you have given me these last few weeks."
"Are you leaving?"
"I think the problem has been solved itself and like you said, this was not a psychological problem."
"So what will you do now?"
"Maybe go back to Iraq and discover my roots. I was a kid when we left so I don't remember much of it."
"That sounds like a plan."
Pay my respects to grace and virtue;
Send my condolences to good.
Hear my regards to soul and romance.
They always did the best they could.
And so long to devotion,
You taught me everything I know.
Wave goodbye, wish me well.
The Killers – Human