A/N: So this is a new Multi-chaptered fic I'm pretty excited about! It's based on the movie of the same name, Friends With Kids. The idea (best friends who decide to forgo a traditional relationship and have a kid together) for the story comes from the movie and the plot will be loosely the same. If you've seen the movie, it moves pretty fast over different periods, I'll be spending some more time in each stage of the story. Some of the dialogue (especially in the beginning of the fic) is taken directly from the movie, most of it is changed slightly, some only have the same idea with completely different words, and all of it has descriptions and what not added since this is a written story and not a movie. As the story progresses, there will be less and less directly from the movie, since most of it is taken to set up the story (why they want to have the baby, the logistics, etc.)
Again, a lot of the dialogue, especially in this first chapter, is taken directly from the movie; I give complete credit to the movie, but don't want to quote it all because a lot of it has extra stuff added in.
Please enjoy and let me know what you think along the way, I am always open to changing and adapting and adding things in when readers make requests!
Chapter 1: I Can't Believe It
"Rach?" his groggy voice croaks into the phone
"Alligator or shark?"
"What time is it?"
"3:18. I can't sleep. Alligator or shark?"
He rubs the sleep from his eyes as her always rapid voice whispers through the phone, "Uhh…I don't swim in the ocean, you know that."
"Yes, but alligators swim in lakes or swamps and marshes." She counters, having already prepared this part of the conversation in her head.
"But sharks are only in the ocean, which makes it impossible for me to die that way."
"You can't change the rules, Finn. You have to pick."
"Yeah, but the rules only work if both deaths could actually happen."
"They can." She says, her voice determined even through her whisper, "You can't reduce possibility to zero."
He scoffs, "I can eliminate risk altogether on shark death if I never go in the ocean!"
"Unless you're in a plane crash that doesn't kill you on impact and you land in the ocean." She decides proudly, her mouth pulled into a pleased smile
"Ugh… fine!" he finally concedes, "Shark. It's faster. Alligators drown you before they eat you. K? Happy?"
"You wanna come up?"
She considers it for a moment, wondering if the three floor elevator trip to her best friend's apartment would be worth it, "Is Catherine there?"
She laughs, "Then, no thank you."
"Come on it's fine." He says, looking over at the girl still fast asleep to his left, "I'm gonna break up with her soon anyway."
"Eh." He shrugs, "I give it like three weeks."
She snorts at his brush off, "Poor Catherine." She says dryly
He smirks into the phone, "Oh she'll be fine. She's got a great-" his eyes rake over her body, clad in some lacy lingerie thing, her large breasts almost spilling out of the top, "… Sense of humor."
Her laugh is louder than her whisper, "You are such an asshole."
"I know." he chuckles, "Hey, wait. Why are you whispering?
"Oh. I've got a guy in my bed."
He sits up abruptly, his eyes amused, "What!? Rach! That's great!"
"No it's not. He's like eleven…he's a bartender! What is wrong with me?"
"Nothing! It's been like…years, hasn't it?
"Six months…and a week." She says without missing a beat. Glancing over at the man, and biting her nails nervously.
"Exactly! Rach, that's not natural. You gotta sweep out the cobwebs!"
She rolls her eyes, "Thank you for that."
His smile is huge as he continues knowingly, "You know? Like from your-"
"I got it, Finn."
He laughs at her, mindful to keep his volume down, "Oh, Rachel." He sighs, "I think you should come up. We can prank call Puck..."
She smiles fondly, prank calling Puck was one of their favorite past times. She bites her lip in consideration, as much as she would love to spend the night laughing at Puck's expense, she had a bar tender to tend to (Ha!) With her dating track record, her entire apartment would be gutted by the time she got back. "No, it's ok. I'll just take a sleeping pill."
"Alright." He allows, lying back down, "I'll see you tonight, yeah?"
"Is it going to be all of us?"
"Yeah, it's the six of us- and…Catherine. Unless of course you break up with her before then." She teases, smiling ruefully, "Keep me posted."
"Good night, Finn."
He shook his head, chuckling at her as he hung up the phone. He could only imagine the gem she had brought home this time. It wasn't often he got to meet Rachel's guys, unless they became serious enough for a third date, but he'd heard all the stories. Honestly, he couldn't believe Rachel wasn't married by now. Sure, she was like his sister, but even he could see how beautiful she was. When they first met, back when Rachel moved down the street sophomore year, he thought maybe something would come from the whole pretty girl next door thing, but then he actually met her.
She was the most intense person he had ever met. Her voice moved a thousand miles a minute and she had a one of a kind type of liveliness that endeared her to him immediately. She was the fastest friend he had ever made, even him and Puck had taken a little while to warm up to each other and they had met when Finn was six.
Rachel was the least guarded person he knew, she was open and honest and warm from the second they met which pretty much made it impossible not to be her friend. He never thought his best friend would be a girl, but Rachel had pretty much obliterated any and all his expectations for friendship from the very beginning.
Everyone always accused them of being more than friends, everyone. But the romantic part of their relationship just never appeared the way people expected it to. She slept over his house all the time, he knew all her deepest, darkest secrets and she knows his but…nothing. He thinks it's because his affection for her runs too deep; he cherishes Rachel and values her in a way that he never has with any woman he's dated.
Rachel was more than the pretty girl down the street, and now she's more than the pretty girl who lives upstairs, she's his family.
He was still on the phone as he got out of the cab. Handing the driver the fare without counting out the bills,
"Yes. Yes, I know. Just make sure the proposal is on my desk when I walk in on Monday." He ordered, rubbing his hands through his hair as his assistant continued to make him more and more agitated. His job in advertising was a pain in the ass, but it was lucrative enough to allow him his comfortable lifestyle, a fact he needed to remind himself of daily.
He hangs up the phone and rushes towards the restaurant, eyeing his watch and cursing under his breath when he realizes it's 7:15.
He pushes into the crowded elevator, pressing the "Close Door" button when a familiar voice reaches his ears,
"Hold the elevator!" Rachel calls out, squeezing through the already closing doors
"Fancy meeting you here." He teases, nudging her with his hip
She smiles at him and he can feel the stress of his day dissipating. Seeing Rachel always feels like home. Comfortable, warm, familiar. Happy.
"Cutting it close huh, Hudson?"
He smiles back, glancing down at her, "Ugh, did you have to wear those shoes?" he groans after seeing her dangerously high heels.
"Why? Feeling inadequate?"
"Yes." He deadpans, "That's exactly how I always feel around you, Rach. That my height is inadequate to your massive 5 foot stature."
"5 foot 3, thank you very much. Don't act like you don't know how tall I am."
Finn knew exactly how tall she was; she used to make him measure her weekly to see if she had grown at all. She hadn't. Ever. His house in Lima had a row of perfectly even pencil dashes on his bedroom wall to prove it. But that's not the point,
"I don't care how tall you are Rachel. I care about you stumbling down the streets four glasses of wine from now. I am not carrying you home."
"Mhmm." She says knowingly, rolling her eyes, "That's what you said on Quinn's birthday."
"Yeah, and I should've kept my promise. Then I wouldn't have had you slurring Barbara Streisand in my ear for 10 blocks."
"I do not slur Finn, I sing." She explains with a flourish of her hand
"Whatever." He responded, receiving a swift punch in the shoulder for it just as they approached their table
"Hey!" Tina and Mike cheer in unison, their faces bright and excited
"Hi!" Rachel says, kissing Tina on the cheek and then switching with Finn to greet Mike as well.
"Puck and Quinn aren't here yet?" Finn asks, his forehead creasing as he checks his watch, "I thought for sure they'd beat us."
"Oh they're here." Tina tells them, her eyebrows rising at her husband who was stifling a laugh, "They went to the bathroom….20 minutes ago."
"Oh my god!" Rachel squeals "Do they just have sex everywhere?"
"They literally do not stop." Finn says, laughing
Tina laughs along, nodding her head, "It's so true, they have sex more than anyone I know."
"Well," Mike interrupts, his finger in the air, "Finn has sex a lot."
"Okay, yeah, I do. But not at that level! I haven't had sex on a boat or in a public bathroom!"
They all laugh until Tina interjects, "Hey! Speaking of Finn's sex life…Where's Catherine?"
Finn's innocent smile was the only answer they needed, erupting into groans and laughter.
"Oh my god, dude!"
"Hey, hey." Rachel yelled, her voice breaking through the teasing, "We all know Finn has commitment issues."
"Yeah, whatever." Mike nodded, "Listen, Finn, we know no one will ever be able to live up to your mom, but you gotta work past this!"
"Ha Ha. Very funny. Can I just point out that Rachel is the one who can't get past a first date?"
"Hey!" she squeaks
"What?" Tina asks, "You didn't like that guy I set you up with? You didn't like Dave?"
"He had a record, Tina. And I'm pretty sure he was gay." She rolls her eyes, giving Finn knowing look, having already told him the horrific tale of her date with the closeted, tense man.
"You could make that work!" Mike teased
"Really?" she laughed, "Is that what it's come to?"
Just then, Puck and Quinn finally returned to the table, fixing their hair and clothes respectively, "Hey guys!" Quinn greeted
"Where were you guys?" Rachel questions, a knowing smirk on her face
"Oh, we were just- um, we saw- we saw Puck's…friend downstairs." Quinn attempted pitifully
"Oh yeah? What's this friend's name?"
"His name's mind your business alright?" Puck scolded, "You pervs."
They all laughed loudly at his ironic anger, even Quinn, who was currently hiding her face in Puck's shoulder.
"Right, we're the pervs… and how were the bathroom accommodations?" Finn teased, hiding behind his menu while Rachel pinched him from behind hers, giggling madly.
"You ass." Quinn laughs, shaking her head as they all laughed at her and Puck's expense.
"Anyways," Tina says, clearing her throat and waiting for the laughter to die down, "We have an announcement to make, we-"
She was interrupted by the loud shrieking of a toddler two tables away. Screaming and fighting with his mother who was desperately trying to get him to eat some pasta.
"Jeez, you'd think for the money this place charges, people would leave the kids at home." Finn scoffs
Rachel nods, eyeing the messy kid skeptically, "I know, are kids even allowed in here?" she says, sharing an annoyed glance with Finn
"We're pregnant!" Tina blurts
"Oh." Finn and Rachel both stutter
Rachel shoots them an apologetic look, "Sorry, we didn't mean anything by it, we're so excited for you it's-"
"Oh stop!" Tina says, waving her hand, "I don't think kids should be allowed in here either! Our kids will be angels; they won't ever leave the house." She jokes, lightening the mood
"Wait," Finn says, pointing a finger at Puck and Quinn, "You guys don't seem surprised… you knew?"
"We knew!" Quinn squeals, "They just told us before you guys got here, and-"
"We're pregnant too!" Puck yells
Rachel almost spits out her wine, "What?!"
"Wh- Seriously?" Finn sputters
Quinn doesn't answer him, her face an inch away from Puck's, they're hands clasped in front of them, "Babe, you said I could tell them."
"I know." He coos, "But I was just so excited!"
Quinn's bottom lip goes out into a pout, awing at her husband before kissing him, the chaste peck quickly escalating into something more.
"Alright, Alright! Take it easy." Finn says, his face twisted in disgust, "I know a great bathroom you guys can take this to."
Puck punches him in the arm and just like that they're all laughing again.
"But seriously," Rachel finally says, "You guys are really having a baby?"
Quinn nods energetically, a beaming smile threatening to split her face in two.
Finn downs a gulp of wine, "I mean that's just math right there, you can only have sex so many times before a baby makes himself comfortable."
Rachel swats him with her napkin, snorting when Finn raises his eyebrows at her.
The rest of dinner passes as it normally does, with teasing and laughing and silly stories. The boys share dirty jokes and the girls pretend to be appalled, the girls swoon over each other's outfits while the men roll their eyes. They've all been friends for a long time and it's always been like this. Rachel and Finn share a look at a quiet moment and they both know they're thinking the same thing; about how it's always been and how everything is about to change.
"I can't believe it." He says for the fifth time on their walk home, Rachel shakes her head.
"I mean, I can believe it. Tina and Mike have been married for like, eight years now and Puck and Quinn fuck like bunnies I just-"
"It's crazy. It's ridiculous! I mean both of them pregnant? I just- they still have time!"
He shrugs, "Not really. Tina's 28, Quinn's 30, they're actually past their prime-"
"Don't go there." She says, pointing a finger up at him, "Quinn and I are the same age."
"Oh I know. You past your prime too." He says plainly, raising his eyebrows at her
She gasps, punching him in the shoulder, "Ow!"
"You are such a jerk!" her eyes are bright as she shakes her head at him, smiling even though she's punching him. If anyone else ever insulted her like that she would go crazy, but this was Finn. He's like her brother; their relationship was like 80% teasing.
"Easy Rach. Keep hitting me and I won't give you a piggy back ride. We still got five blocks to go." He taunts
She crosses her arms over her chest haughtily, "I don't need a piggy back ride."
"I can't believe it." She whispers, her tone turning serious
"I know." He agrees, "Maybe it won't be so different, I mean Tina said nothing would change…"
She shrugs her shoulders, looking pensive for a moment as they wait for the light to change.
He eyes her carefully, shaking his head at her, "Your feet are killing you aren't they?"
"Oh my god, so much!"
He sighs and tilts his head backwards, giving her the go ahead. She jumps on his back with a squeal, her weight familiar on him, her voice soft in his ear.
He laughs, and starts walking again, "What would I do without you?" she asks, patting his head
"Hell if I know."
He couldn't shake the feeling that everything was about to change, but at least for now he knew he had Rachel, his best friend, and that would never change.
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