So this is my first attempt to a fanfic. Let me know if it's worth to keep working on

Chap 1

He was strutting around the flat, as he always did when the mind was bored. Get again stumbling upon the old photo of the marauders, seeing himself, Peter, James and the long gone Remus. The man he missed.

Soon after the graduation Remus had disappeared, no one knew where. The last they heard was when he talked about his plans to see Ireland, short after he left, never to turn up again. Not a letter, a word for two years. James and Lilly started to think the worst, but Sirius hoped with his whole heart, that one day he would come back.

Remus on the picture was happy, smiling and with that werewolfistic glimpse in his eyes. That was how Sirius always would remember him, at least until he turned up again. He sighed and fell back down in the armchair, only to finish his drink of golden whisky in silence. For the fourth night in a row he had turned to the bottle, drinking his problems away. He really wanted to see that man again, just talk to him a last time. All he needed to feel some kind of peace, a sign that he still were alive somewhere in the world. The alcohol made him woozy, it was time for bed, his lonely, cold bed. He stood up and put the glass on the coffee table, on top of the old photo albums before he walked down the hall.

Suddenly, a hard knock hit the door. He turned, only to see the wooden door he hadn't been opening a single time today. An other knock.

"James? Is that you?" An other knock and he sighed again. "James! This is really not the time." He opened the door to beg him return home, he was tired. But the man wasn't James. The man was well known to him, only... The clothes were hanging on the thin shoulders, non fitting, dirty, old ragged, and way to cold to be worn in this weather. The whole man was smashed, foul, stinking of cigarets and something Sirius dog nose could not recognise. Then, finally he saw who he was and he gasped.

"Oh my god." Sirius breathed. "Remus?" The werewolf's hair had grown long and thick, he looked like an animal now more then ever. Still, he had the shrunken position, hands in is pockets and looking at his feet. "Is that you?" The animalistic eyes were glowing as the looked up upon Sirius, he looked evil.

"Can I come in?" His voice had changed, he almost growled.

"Of course." He stepped back, letting the long lost Remus enter the small apartment. Looking around with the yellow eyes he saw the photo albums and the photos of he and his friends. No reaction, it was like he never had left, he didn't say a word as he limped over to the coffee table. The golden whiskey poured down his throat from Sirius old glass and he fell down on the floor, leaning back on his arm and lighting a cigarette with his wand. The smoke welling out from his nose he looked at Remus.

"I'm sorry." The petrified Sirius finally caught his breath.

"Where the hell have you been?" The anger started like a fire in his body. How could Remus be so arrogant? Turning up at his door step, only to smoke up the air in his apartment. "What happened to you? I have been so worried?" Remus cleared his throat and blinked, he was tired, the dark circles around his eyes had always been there but now they were just... scary.

"I've..." he started and suddenly looked at his smoke like it just turned out of no were in his hand. He put it out in the last drops of whisky, shoved it to the side and started to untie his shoes, his ruined shoes that almost missed their soles. He scratches his moustache and beard with his dirty fingers and lowered his gaze to the sore feet.

"Let me take care of your wounds."

Remus just sat there in silence while he treated him, twitching when the alcohol entered his infected wounds.

"Where have you been?" It was the second time he asked him. Remus watched while the animagus washed his dirty feet.

"Sirius." The growling was gone, and his voice was left with the soft tone that Sirius remembered. "Have you ever met someone that reminds you so much about yourself that it scares you?" He didn't understand, so he shocked his head.
"I guess not." Remus wasn't surprised.

"Well I did, in Ireland. I was going to stay for a week, drink some ale, see some quidditch games, just have a good time. Then, on the second day I met this... woman... this weird woman who..." His whole body started shaking, he trembled of fear and exhaustion. Sirius took of his bathrobe and threw it around Remus thin shoulders. "She thinked like me, read the same books, had the same... filosofi about books, life..."

Even if Sirius didn't want to listen to Remus story about a woman he seemed to love, he still did. It was just so long since he had heard his voice, his wonderful voice. He just sat there waited for the story to be over. "I killed her." The sudden line made the breathing stop for them both. The shaking got worse and he bring his hands to his face. Choking his tears. "It was an accident." he stuttered. "My potion... it... it was a scam, and... I turned." The tears started to flood and he sobbed like Sirius never seen him do before. "I woke up... behind the quidditch arena..." He started to hug his own body in panic. "Covered in her blood and... the rest of her body next to me." He bit his nails and the sobbing got worse. "I fucking killed her Sirius!" He kicked the supplies and the alcohol and potions feel over the floor as he covered his face in his hands. Crying like he had never cried before.

The anger was gone, he forgave the man in front of him, understood what he had been going through all these years.

"Remus." The man covered his face in the dirty hands, almost curled up to a ball, pressing his forehead against his knees. Sirius put his arms around the crying man when he suddenly pushed him back.

"Don't!" he screamed, quickly wiped the tears of his face and left patterns in the filth. He shocked his head while he stared at Sirius. "Don't." Sirius felt the tears burn his eyes.

"Please." he plaid. "Let me hold you." He shocked his head again and Sirius slowly understood what was going on. "Remus, you're not going to hurt me." The sobbing started again, more violently the before. He put his arms around him held him tight against him. "I'm so sorry. So sorry." Almost fearsome Remus hugged him back, digging the nails into his skin. He hid his smashed face unto Sirius shoulder.

"You are the first person I've seen for two years." he sobbed. "I have been hiding in the woods all this time, I... I didn't want to hurt anyone again. I..."

"It's okay." Sirius tried to comfort him the best he could. "Don't worry, I wont judge you. It was an accident."

"I didn't even got her name." He swore out of sorrow, gritting his teeth so he wouldn't scream. "I fucking killed her! I fucking ate her!"

Sirius sat there quietly and held his friend, tried to understand what he had been going trough. While Remus tears were flooding, he stroke his hair, carefully rocking him and ensured him that he wouldn't let anything like that happen to him again. Eventually Remus calmed down, still shaking but the sobbing eased. He had almost fallen asleep in Sirius arms.

"You're tired." Sirius whispered. "Did you walk here?" The nod was slight and almost unreal. "From where?"

"From Wexford." he answered, almost laughing. "I have been walking everyday for two years, a little at the time, back and forward, here and there."

"Where have you been living?"

"Everywhere." He almost choked as he swallowed. "I had ha bag with a tent and supplies, it got stolen on my way trough town. They beat me up pretty bad." Sirius glanced at all the bruises again.

"This just happened to you?" He nodded again, soon to be sleeping with the head on Sirius shoulder.

"Let's get you into bed."

"Sirius. Weird question." he started and lifted his head, looked at him, with now more human eyes. "Don't misunderstand, but..." He cleared his throat again and lowered his head. "Can I sleep beside you? I... I don't want to be alone." Something jumped inside Sirius, was this a joke, the dream he had since school, was it finally coming true? He tried to keep calm.

"Of course." Sirius answered, trembling as his heart skipped a beat. "Come."

A sharp pain hit Remus sore feet as he stood up and Sirius caught him before he hit the floor. "Oh god, Remus!?" He coughed and he felt the fever boiling from his body. "You're ill." The he saw the deep cuts beneath the sleeves, his arms were ruined. "What happened to you? Who did this?" The werewolf didn't want to answer that at the moment. It was way to painfully to speak of. "Remus?"

"Let me tell you about it tomorrow, I need some sleep."

Oddly enough, Remus had no memory of the walk between the living room and the bed. Before he knew it, sheets and pillows surrounded him. Heaven, was his first thought, for two years he had spend his nights on a cold mattress in the forest. Slowly, Sirius removed his clothes until he only wore the blue boxers and then folded the sheets around him.

One big question tore Sirius mind apart, he needed an answer soon. He had to ask.

"Remus, what made you come back?" The eyes glowed in the dark. The answer was simple.

"You." he sighed, almost happily.