"Are you the next character I have to round up for this stupid crew? I mean, um, for my highly-trained elite team of experts?"

"Maybe... who are you?"

"Seriously? I'm Commander Shepherd. Yeah, yeah, I know, I don't look like I did in the last game... the developers let the player change my appearance when they imported me. Just roll with it, it's cool."

"Huh. So, how did they explain your lack of skills this time?"

"Trust me. You don't want to know."


"Look, do the words 'thresher maw' and 'gullet' mean anything to you?"



"So, anyway, why, yes, I am the next recruit on your roster. Rest assured, I am a phenomenally skilled annihilator of things that need annihilating."

"Sounds awesome. Let's get this over with: so, I need you to help me, blah, blah, blah, fate of the universe, blah, what dumb thing do you need to get taken care of before we can go?"


"Look, work with me here, okay? What do you need me to do, before we can go save the universe. Because I just know there's got to be something more important to you than saving all life, yeah?"

"Uh... hand me that duffle bag?"

"Um... here. So, like I was saying, what..."

"Okay, I'm packed. Let's go."


"Come on. You said this was important."

"What, that's it?"


"You don't have some task to do, before you'll go with me?"

"Naw, I'm good. I'm packed. Let's go."

"That's it?"

"Which way's your shuttle?"


"Is it at the dock, down on the..."

"No, no, hold it, hold on, look: seriously, you have no personal quest that you want done before we can go?"


"Oh, I get it, going to spring it on me later, after we've had some conversation, and all that?"

"No, man, I got nothing. Let's go."


"Anytime, now."

"No missing siblings, vengeance that needs inflicted, something you want blown up..."

"No. Look, I've spent my whole life training to kill people and break things, how much time do you think that leaves for social activity and getting up in people's grills? I got nothing. I train, I eat, I sleep, I watch holo-ball... so, no, seriously, no personal quests, no vengeance, nothing. I'm ready to go with you and fight for the fate of the universe."

"Thank you, God."