~Chapter 4: Mistyfied...Or Not~
A/N: Finally...after a long and painful hiatus, I have returned!
After the commotion (and hair pulling, scratching, biting, slapping, and any other vulgar catty things you could imagine jealous female teenagers would do to each other), the group had dispersed, leaving Ash and Pikachu to their own endeavors-with the ever watchful Gardevoir lurking about of course!
Ash: Man Pikachu that was so weird! Why did everyone get mad at each other?
Pikachu: Pi Pika? (I don't know, is there any food in this place?)
Ash: I don't understand a word you're saying Pikachu! Why can't you speak English?
Pikachu: Chu... (I hate my life...)
Meanwhile over at the hidden snack bar, Gardevoir was helping herself to a strange human concoction known as cotton candy.
Gardevoir: Why does this melt in my mouth? Am I being poisoned right now? Oh well, poison type moves are weak against me anyway. Hmm what's this?
The willowy pokemon had spotted a certain orange-haired gym leader sitting alone on a bench, her arms folded across her chest in a huff. Curious, Gardevoir glided closer to the clearly annoyed Misty.
Misty: Hmph. The nerve of those girls! They wish they had that special bond that Ash and I share!
At this Gardevoir gasped in both shock and anger.
Gardevoir: WHAT?! Did this...this bimbo deflower Ash?!
Suddenly, a sad, squinty-eyed man sulked up and sat down next to Misty.
Brock: Hey Misty...what's up?
Misty: Oh hi Brock. Nothing much...why are you so sad?
Brock: Well let's see. No girl likes me, I'm still a virgin, I hang out with little kids for years on end...did I mention I'm still a virgin?
Misty let out a sigh.
Misty: I feel your pain Brock, there's a certain someone who doesn't seem to get it, you know?
Brock: Uh sure, whatever you say. Hey Misty?
Misty turned to her friend with a quizzical expression.
Brock: Uh since we're both down and vulnerable right now, why don't we head back to Viridian City? I know this really great, shady motel down by the Poke Mart. We can just get it out of our systems you know and...
Brock would be out for approximately eight hours thanks to Misty's mallet. Her fury back tenfold, she began screaming wildly to no one in particular.
Gardevoir saw this as her chance and sauntered over to the screaming beauty.
Misty: Who the fuck are you?
Gardevoir: My name's Gardevoir.
Misty: Oh you're one of those cosplay idiots. I bet you're an ugly dude in that costume you freak!
Gardevoir frowned, clenching it's er...fists?
Gardevoir: That's not very nice.
Misty: Well you know what else is not nice? YOUR FACE!
Gardevoir had heard enough, reaching out to grab the surprised girl's shoulders.
Misty: Hey what's the big idea? I...zzzzzzzz
Gardevoir: Silly potty mouthed girl, you just fell victim to my hypnosis! Now let's infiltrate your mind.
Gardevoir as Misty (GAMI): Hmm...this body is rather clean, as if she bathes herself often. I wonder if she uses that type of language when conversing with Ashy?
Speaking of Ash, the wannabe Pokemon master had just emerged from the crowd with a clearly starving Pikachu in tow.
Pikachu: Pika? Pika... (What the hell man I'm gonna die here! I'm not on that diet anymore! Please give me some pizza with ketchup!)
Ash: Shush Pikachu, we can go find Waldo later.
Pikachu: ... (FUCK ME!)
Ash then noticed Misty who waved him over, with a quick flutter of her eyes.
Ash: Hey Misty! Something in your eyes?
GAMI: Uh...no Ash you dumbass! I mean let's go somewhere more private ok?
Despite the coy body language that Gardevoir was trying to portray through Misty, Ash stared at her with the usual happy go lucky expression that we've all come to know and love from Ashy boy.
GAMI: I think you know...
Gardevoir gave Ash a wink that apparently flew right over his head.
Ash: Sorry Misty I don't know. But whatever let's go I guess.
Gardevoir squealed in delight as she used Misty's hands to lead Ash through the crowd and into a surprisingly roomy supply closet. She locked the door and then turned to face the confused boy.
Ash: Hey Misty why'd you lock the door?
GAMI: Well Ash I just thought we could get some alone time together...
Fluttering her eyelids once more, she slowly approached Ash, swaying her hips with each step.
Ash: Eh Misty is something wrong with your feet?
Gardevoir ignored Ash's typical remark and continued her seductive walk, ending up mere inches from Ash's face.
GAMI: It sure is hot in here Ash, don't you think so?
On cue, Gardevoir slipped off Misty's top, revealing a mermaid styled bra.
Gardevoir observed that Ash began to twtich and wondered if her plan was finally working.
GAMI: Like what you see big boy?
Ash: The private room...the swaying of the hips...the stripping! This can only mean one thing...
Gardevoir practically screamed inside, thanking the gods above and below that Ash had finally gotten it! As she closed her (Misty's!) eyes and leaned in, she was shocked to realize that Ash had dashed to the other side of the room.
Ash: It can only mean one thing! YOU WANT A POKEMON BATTLE!
Gardevoir stood there stunned beyond belief.
Ash: Don't worry Misty, you'll get your battle! Right after I feed Pikachu-he looks even skinnier than usual for some reason.
Pikachu: Pika-chu! (YESSSSSSSS)
A flabbergasted Gardevoir watched as Pikachu used Growl to scare the door down. Ash and Pikachu then ran off in the direction of the hidden snack bar.
Looks like Gardevoir has her work cut out for her! What will happen next? Tune in to find out!