She's standing in the kitchen, singing. The smell in here is heavenly – I hope she's made my favourite. I lean against the doorframe. "Hey."
"Hey yourself" she breezes, turning to look at me. "I've just made chocolate cake."
"With chocolate buttercream?" I ask hopefully.
She picks up a glass bowl with creamy brown mush in it.
"Can I lick the spoon?"
Her eyes meet mine. They match what I'm feeling – hungry. She smirks. "Just the spoon? "
"When I've finished with it." She giggles, and turns her back to me, waving her behind at me as she loads the dishwasher.
I watch her intently. Those hotpants are bordering on the indecent. And that body – good job only I see it properly, I'm sure it's an arrestable offence to be that sexy. I wonder...
I've had this little, fantasy shall we say, in my head for a few days, or weeks and I need to make it real – for both of us. "You trust me, right?"
She turns and looks at me in mock horror, her eyes twinkling, and I feign hurt
She sighs as she walks over to me. "Yes of course, you know I do." She places her hands on her hips and plants a swift kiss on my lips, then narrows her eyes in suspicion. "Why?"
"Because I want to try something. With you. Will you come with me?" I hold the key to the playroom out and she takes it, cautiously. "You don't have to" I say, sensing her reluctance.
"I...will you hurt me?" she asks in a small voice.
"God Ana no" I reach out to her and hold her to me, breathing in her sweet scent. She smells of Jasmine and Sandalwood; it's heavenly, and mixed with the smell of baking its heady and intoxicating. "No baby I'd never hurt you, ever."
"Then tell me what this something is."
"It's something I wouldn't ask if I didn't trust you. I need to show you how much I trust you, with my heart, my soul, my body, and my love."
She pressed her lips to my chest. "You're making me nervous now."
"Ana, promise me, promise me you trust me...I need you to, I need this."
She took my hand and kissed the pads of each fingertip, before leading me out into the hall. I watched nervously as she stopped at the locked door and dropped the key into her bra.
"You have my full promise" she said slowly, gazing intently into my eyes.
I took a deep breath. "I want to give you the ultimate, and this is the only way I know how. I want to be your submissive."
"You what?" she squeaked, her eyes darkening as they held my gaze.
That'll be a no then.
"Ana you own me, completely. You have everything, and I never want another soul to have anything of mine, it all belongs to you." I put my finger on her lips as she goes to speak. "Please, I need to erase any doubt you might have. I love you, and I need you. I need you more than the air I breathe. I want you, and I trust you."
"But you're...we can't...I can't."I see the panic in her eyes.
"You can baby." I am almost pleading with her. I didn't realise just how much I want this. I cup her cheeks in my hand and kiss her forehead. "You're one of the strongest women I know."
"I can't stand in there and hurt you, I can't do what she did." She looks close to tears, her face ashen.
"Oh my gorgeous girl, surely you realise it's not all about pain?" I stroke away a stray tear that escaped her eye with the pad of my thumb. "I know you'd never hurt me, and I need you to know that I know. That's what I mean by the ultimate."
Say you'll do it.
"But what if I start and don't like it?"
"Then it stops, and we do something else."
She's considering it.
"I'd never ask you to do anything you didn't like, but I think you'll like it." I hold her gaze. "You might even glimpse what I like."
Say something, anything, even if it's no.
She blinks. "Wait here."
I watch as she scurries off. I hear her feet on the stairs as she runs up them.
She's up there for ages. Have I crossed the line? Sadly, I think I have. I want to go after her but she told me to wait and I have to do as she asks, I don't want her thinking I'm completely incapable of granting a request, especially if, by some miracle, she comes down and says she wants to do this. I sit on the floor, my back resting against the wall. I don't think she'll come back down though. I'm disappointed in a way, being under her complete control, and having her not abuse the trust I have placed in her evokes a strange feeling in me that I've never felt before. She thinks she'll be like Elena if she does this, and I don't think my assurances did anything to allay that fear. My Ana could never be like her. She doesn't have a malicious bone in her delectable body, and she could never get off on hurting someone, not like Elena can. She'd never exploit me like that.
She smiles shyly and hands me the key. I slowly stand and unlock the door, standing aside so she can walk in. She's holding something else, but it's folded tight so I can't make it out. Hang on, are they...
I watch as she looks around, wide eyed, like she's never seen the place before, and nibbles her lower lip. I know she's thinking, remembering her first time in here, remembering the time before she left me, but then she smiles salaciously, and I know she's remembering the good times too.
She puts the blue bundle she's been cradling on the bed and beckons me over. I take her outstretched hand and suddenly her lips are on mine, moving softly and slowly against me. I hear a moan escape me as she runs her tongue over my bottom lip, asking for deeper access. My hand holds the back of her head to me as I deepen the kiss. Our tongues dance and duel, our tastes mixing, our needs and wants unspoken, but clear.
She breaks the kiss, panting and trembling. "I think I'd like to take them" she nods towards the bed "off you."
"Only think?" I tease
"Just put them on, no underwear, no shirt, and wait here." She seems to have remembered what we're doing now, her voice is steadier, and more authoritative, like I've heard her at work.
"Yes miss" I say, doing a mock salute.
"Behave" she says as seriously as she can and slaps my behind before running for the door. Jeez that was unexpected! "And none of your cheek! I'll be ten minutes." She closed the door softly behind her.
Chuckling softly, I shuffled out of my cargo pants and slipped my playroom jeans on. I think she's going to enjoy this. Actually I think I'm going to enjoy this. I wonder what she's going to do and a frisson of excitement runs through me as all kinds of things run through my mind – with so much at her disposal it could be anything. I look to the corner where the canes and whips used to be. I think them not being here will make things easier, make her feel more comfortable. I wonder if she'll take the lead naturally or if I'll have to coax her, teach her how to be, how to act. I wonder if she'll like it, if she'll want to do it again.
My stomach does a little flip as I hear the door open. She's changed. I raise my eyebrow questioningly at her and the tray she holds. I can't see what is on there because it's covered with a towel.
"Never you mind Mr Grey" she says, answering my unspoken question and putting it down on the table, and closing the door. "Now I have you all to myself..." she giggles and bites her lip, and slips her robe off. She's standing there in a black lacy panty and bra set, and black stilettos. I slowly reach a hand out to trace the swell of her breasts, but she bats my hand away. "No touchy feely Mr Grey" she scolds, her voice still holding that playful edge.
"But..." I protest
"Did I say you could?" She's sterner this time.
Pouting, I look to the floor.
She laughs, and snakes her arms round my neck, kissing the tip of my nose. All of a sudden she's kissing me fiercely, her hand fisting in my hair as she plunders my mouth. She tugs gently as I nip at her lip, a small mewing sound escaping her throat as I suck it. I can taste her lust. My hands hold her hips, pulling her to me, but she wriggles away. "No touchy feely" she repeats.
I fist my hands at my sides, trying really hard to keep them there as one by one she undoes the buttons, then the zipper of my jeans, and tugs then down. She's so close; I didn't envisage not touching her would be this hard. I know she can see my inner struggle, as she smiles and takes my hand, inviting me to kick my jeans off, before gently pushing me down onto the bed. It's a touch I savour; I don't know how long she's not going to allow me to touch her. I can feel her body heat as she kneels next to me. This is insane! If I can just...
"Dear dear Mr Grey, I need to restrain you so early, you disappoint me."
I hear her fiddling with the cuffs on the posts, and for a second I don't mind. She's leaning over above me and I get a tantalising view of the underside of her breasts - creamy white flesh encased in black lace, just begging to be tasted. Then I feel the first cuff snap round my wrist, then the second. Shit now I really can't touch her. I must have had a fleeting look of fear or something in my eyes, as she studies me closely for what seems like an age, her beautiful blue too-big-for-her-face eyes staring at me, asking me if I was okay, asking permission, seeking reassurance. I wink and she smiles. I watch as she reaches behind her and unclips her bra, her beautiful breasts falling free from their lacy restraints inches from my face. I strain my neck and pull at my restraints but I can't reach her...bloody hell she knows how to torment me!
"Head up" she whispers, and she slips a blindfold over my eyes. Immediately all my other senses are heightened and I fidget in pleasure as she nibbles my earlobe. "Relax, and go with it" she whispers. Her breath is so warm. "This is what it's like for me, just feel." Then the warmth is gone, just like that.
"Ana" I whisper, and I feel her kiss my shoulder. I hear music, soft and melodic, and I recognise it as the playlist I put on Ana's Ipad. I smile as I relax like she told me, and let the notes wash over me. It's calm, soothing, and I feel myself relaxing further, the restraints forgotten as I absorb the sound.
"Christian" she murmurs, "If this gets too much you must tell me." I know exactly what she's going to do, but even so I'm shocked and surprised by what I feel. It's so soft and light. It should tickle but it doesn't, it just feels...what is that? I didn't have time to dwell as I feel her fingers on my shoulders, light touches, idly skinning down my chest, feather light. My skin prickles with anticipation, yet I could feel myself stiffening against my will. No! I cry silently, this is my Ana, not some cigarette-wielding asshole using you as an ashtray! She must have been watching me as intently as I watch her as her touch immediately shifts to my face, cupping my cheek. "Okay? I can stop" she whispers at me.
I want this so bad it hurts, I need this. "Don't stop."
I feel the mattress dip in between my legs. She's changed position. Her hands rest on my hips and I hear her giggle softly, as she slowly slides her hand up, over my abdomen, over my chest, her touch gentle but more assured as she splays her fingers over my shoulders, my throat, and back down to my chest again, gently kneading my flesh. Her lips and tongue tease my skin, finding first my right nipple, then my left, as she, expertly it seems, traces patterns down my sides. As she hovers over me her breasts graze my erection which must be, I'm sure, like a rod of iron by now – it sure feels like it to me. Hell fire she's driving me crazy! Her hands move back to my hips. She's kissing my belly, and when her tongue flicks over my arousal I almost combust.
Growling, I move my hips, trying to reach her mouth again.
"Keep still" she orders, her voice low.
"Ana..." I don't recognise my voice. I'm begging, I know I'm begging but I don't care. My skin is on fire. I've never felt like this before. My mind is reeling; this is so new, definitely nothing like before and...and I want more. I need more. I need Ana.
She slaps my thigh. It stings. "Keep still" she says again, her own voice thick and potent.
Then I smell it. Just a hint in the air. It smells...I concentrate. It smells sweet, sexy, musky, like sex and flowers and her shampoo. It fills my nostrils.
I hear a tinkling sound, like ice in a glass. Then her lips are on mine, letting me drink. The water's so cool, that glass definitely had ice in it. It slips down my throat as I swallow it gratefully, doing nothing to douse the raging fire inside me. That sound again, she's taking another drink, and I've never wanted water more than I do now.
Her cold lips almost sizzle against my skin as she kisses licks and nibbles my inner thighs, her tongue flicking the sensitive skin of my balls. I groan. "Always so eager Mr Grey" she giggles, and I can feel my groin twitch, my stomach muscles curling. I need to move my legs, but her hands resting on my hips say no.
Her mouth closes over me and I hear myself make a noise I've never heard before. Her tongue licks and swirls around me with eager fervour, greedily enveloping more of me in her mouth, as her hand makes its way to my belly, resting quietly, fingers splayed. Her teeth lightly scrape over me and I shudder. I can feel my thighs tensing, the pit of my stomach flooding with that familiar warmth. She stops.
"Ana!" I almost scream, "Please, I can't take...I need to...please!" I pulled as hard as I could at my restraints, my self control slowly slipping away. I want to be free...I think.
"Do you know what this is doing to me" she whispers as she grasps me, positioning herself to slide down onto me. "The look on your face, the sounds you're making, the way your body is reacting..." Her voice is low and seductive, calling to me, and don't think I can take much more. I need to touch her. I'm consumed by it.
"Take these off" I plead, pulling again at the cuffs I know full well won't budge. I try another tack. "Miss, please..." my request lost as she sinks onto me. Fuck! It's never felt like this before. It's so hot and wet, familiar yet, as I try to focus on just feeling, it's strangely new. I can feel my heart beating wildly; hear the gentle thrum of blood rushing in my ears mixed with her gasps as she starts to move against me, slowly tilting her pelvis. I know it won't be long for either of us as I feel her grip me in her velvety vice. She lets out a small moan as she slows to almost a stop, and I feel her shudder. I throw my head back and coax her with my hips and we move together, bucking and twisting, building higher and higher towards our shared goal. I feel dizzy, my head exploding with all these new feelings, it's exquisite. I never knew these feelings existed. The feel of her enveloping me, her hands on me, the smell of...whatever it is in the air, the music, her moans and squeals, its sensory overload. She grabs the mask and pulls it off just in time for me to see her screw her eyes shut as her body began to tremble and flush. Her head goes back as she starts to convulse around me, clenching me, milking me, drawing on my own release. She slows as she fights to get her breathing back under control, just adding to my beautiful torture. I'm fighting against every instinct to just slam into her. She starts to move against me.
"Look at me."
"Ana, I need..." My toes are tingling; my thighs are hot and tense. Holy hell, there's something to be said for slow.
"Its okay" she whispers, "let go."
I fight to keep my eyes open as I feel myself coming apart beneath her. I shudder as she places her hand over my heart; I swear it's trying to escape from the confines of my chest. I feel...I don't know, strangely self conscious maybe? This is so erotic, I'm hot as hell. I've never had anyone watch me so closely, especially when...sensations heighten and overtake and my back arches as I cry out my baby's name, riding the waves as they swell and crash.
I stroke her back as she curls up beside me. "That was...different."
She shifts and looks me in the eyes, her expression suddenly anxious. "Good different or bad different?"
"Oh good baby, definitely good" I say, immediately wanting to dispel her fear. "Although, I should punish you for not letting me go" I murmur playfully.
"Are you mad?"
"Livid" I smile. "You pushed my boundaries so far."
"But you said..." Her eyes grew wide and watery.
"I know" I murmur, stroking her cheek. "I felt things I've not before, experienced feelings I've never known I could. If I didn't know better I'd say you've done that before."
She sat up and shrugged. "I know what I feel when you do that to me. I know how much everything is heightened when my sight is taken away. I wanted to show you what I feel, and I just tried to play on those senses with the music, the candles and the cold water."
"And the other thing? Before you touched me" I elaborate, seeing her questioning look.
"Oh" she flushes and looks at her hands. "My hair." She giggles. "You're always telling me to keep it long so..." She looks up at me again, her eyes serious. "For me it wasn't about taking control of you, although I did enjoy it. I just wanted to please you like you do me."
"But you did take control, you controlled all of me." I sat up and faced her. "And I gave you permission to have that hold over me."
"It was nothing like that" I soothe, knowing exactly what she was referring to. "You love me, and I love the way you love me. You held the trust I gave you - I give you – close to you, held it tight and cherished it, just like I knew you would. She never cared about my pleasure, it was never like that for her. She just took what she could get."
"Can I ask you something?"
I take her hands and kiss her knuckles. "Anything, Anastasia."
She smiles. "Would you like to lick that spoon now?"