I still don't own anything! Who's shocked? I'm not!
"So, Sheldon," Howard said around a bite of pizza. "I owe Raj ten bucks because it's been two months and you haven't changed the roommate agreement back to forbidding Leonard and Penny from engaging in, as you would say, 'amorous activities' without telling you. And yes, it is 'forbidding'!" he snapped at Raj in order to stop the astrophysicist from waving a hand in protest.
Sheldon looked up from his plate and turned his attention to the engineer who was sitting on the desk chair he'd wheeled over so he could be next to Bernadette, sitting on the chair from Penny's apartment next to Raj who was on the couch. "And you're telling me this because you'd like me to help you with your gambling addiction?"
Howard rolled his eyes. "I don't have a gambling addiction."
"Well, clearly you do, seeing as you engage in it all the time with Raj and rarely ever come out the victor. Admitting you have a problem is the first step, Howard."
The engineer glared at Leonard and Penny when the couple smirked at him. "Anyway, that's not what I was getting at."
"Alright, you can change the subject, but that's not going to make your problem go away," Sheldon stated calmly.
"In any case!" Howard said, his loud voice displaying his frustration. He cleared his throat, bringing his decibel level down. "Should we be taking this little experiment with the roommate agreement as an indication that you're warming up to the idea of nightly fun time?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"Nightly fun time?" Penny asked, looking repulsed.
He shrugged. "Hey, at least I didn't use Raj's name for it: bouncy, naked yum-yum night."
Bernadette put a hand to her face. "How did we get on this topic?"
Amy pointed her fork at Howard. "That'd be your husband's doing."
The microbiologist narrowed her eyes at him. "You're not allowed to start conversations anymore."
"While, I agree, I'm not fond of your topics of dinner discussion, Howard," Sheldon said. "To answer your question, no, I remain uninterested in participating in coitus. As I've stated many times, it's messy, loud, and involves appeals to a deity." He held up a hand before continuing. "And I must argue your point on it being good for a relationship; recently all I've been hearing from these two" – he pointed to Leonard and Penny –"is argument after argument over who loves said unknown deity more. Which reminds me, I thought the two of you promised to be more quiet." He raised an eyebrow at his roommates.
Both members of the couple grimaced. "New topic, please," Penny said in a pained voice. Bernadette covered Howard's mouth before her husband had a chance to make a suggestion.
The theoretical physicist ignored his roommate. "My relationship with Amy should be the perfect example of why intercourse is not necessary."
Amy nodded her head and smiled. "Exactly. Though, that's not to say that it wouldn't be nice once in a while..."
Sheldon stared at his girlfriend for a moment, as if wondering if he should respond to her subtle hinting, but then seemed to think better of it. "In any case, I haven't re-edited the agreement as both Leonard and Penny have been living up to their ends of the roommate agreement and have, on the whole, made life here rather enjoyable."
Howard shook his head in disbelief. "Sheldon enjoying having Penny as a roommate and openly saying so. Never thought I'd see the day."
Penny grinned, looking proud of herself. "He even likes to come grocery shopping with me."
Sheldon nodded, smiling. "She lets me push the cart," he explained. Then he narrowed his eyes at Leonard. "Unlike some power-hungry people."
The experimental physicist rolled his eyes. "The last time I let you push the cart you let go of it because the handles were sticky and sent it careening right into the store manager."
"I always clean the handles with those sanitary wipes he brings," Penny said, giving her boyfriend a triumphant grin before running a hand through his hair.
The theoretical physicist nodded. "You see how it's done, Leonard?"
Leonard merely rolled his eyes again. Oh well. He certainly preferred being Sheldon's second favourite roommate to him and Penny engaging in a roommate war. And grocery shopping with Sheldon had never been his favourite thing anyway.
Penny bent down and pressed her lips against Leonard's forehead. She was seated on the right side of the couch with her boyfriend's head in her lap while he lay stretched out across the length of the piece of furniture, his feet in Sheldon's spot. She kissed his head a few more times before straightening up, running a hand through his hair.
Leonard grinned up at her. "Thanks," he said. "I should let you know when I have a headache more often."
Penny shook her head at him playfully. She slid her left hand from his chest down to his stomach, beginning to slowly move it back and forth. It was nice to get some alone time, just the two of them. Once Sheldon had decided to embrace Penny's living in apartment 4A he'd quickly taken to spending time with both of them, wanting to play video games, or accompany them to movies or other forms of outings. The waitress was pleased that he was enjoying her company so much now and most times she was glad to have him along, but, still, it was good to be alone with Leonard, getting little tastes of what it was like living just with him.
"So," she said, tipping her head down to look at him. "Things are looking good, huh?"
Leonard's eyes – which had been closed just before – fluttered open and he smiled up at her. "You mean, just sitting together on this couch right now?" He let his head tilt to the left so the side of his face rested against her stomach. "Because, then, yeah, things are great."
"No," Penny said in a teasing voice. She let the fingers of her right hand push through his hair a second time to keep him from shutting his eyes again. "I mean us living together. You said living here with Sheldon would be kind of like another beta test, so, evaluation time, Hofstadter. Where do we stand?"
"Oh, I see." Leonard closed his eyes again, snuggling his head in closer to her. "Then, yes, things are looking very good."
Penny rolled her eyes. "Stop being cute and get more specific."
"That's about as specific as you were when we first evaluated the relationship beta test," he pointed out. "And, technically, I was more specific because I added a 'very'."
The waitress shook her head. "Smartass," she said fondly, sliding her right arm around his shoulders.
Seeing how relaxed her boyfriend looked, Penny was thinking about closing her eyes herself when Sheldon came down the hall, the latest issue of The Flash in his hand.
"Leonard, your feet are in my spot." He came to a halt in front of the couch, staring down at his roommate's shoes expectantly.
"He has a headache," Penny explained.
Sheldon blinked. "I fail to see how resting his legs in my spot would help in curing that."
"You're right, keeping them there is making it worse," Leonard sighed, sliding his feet off of the left side of the couch. Sheldon promptly sat down.
"Oh, hey," said Penny, just as the theoretical physicist opened up his comic book. "Did you guys hear that someone's moving into my old apartment next week?" The moment the words had left the waitress's mouth, she regretted them. Sheldon's whole body tensed up, his left eye starting to twitch, and he clutched the edges of his copy of The Flash so hard that he was probably doing more damage than Howard Ham-fisted Wolowitz could ever do. She really needed to start thinking these things through.
"The horror," Sheldon whispered, looking off into the distance. Suddenly, he sprang to his feet, darting down the hall and towards his bedroom.
Leonard frowned up at his girlfriend. She bit her lip apologetically. "Sorry, she mumbled.
"You realize you and I are gonna have to move now, right?"
"Because I'm not sticking around to be punished for whatever horrible things Sheldon plans to do to get rid of this new neighbour," he explained, rubbing his temple as though he expected the headache to get much worse in the coming hours.
"Aw, we can't move out yet, he loves having me here." Leonard smirked at her in spite of his wariness. Penny grinned back and grabbed one of his hands in her own. "The three of us aren't done here yet."
So, that's that. I really wanted to focus on Sheldon and his reticence to change and how he could overcome that for the people in his life, which of course offers a lot of room for Leonard/Penny/Sheldon family dynamic as well as the Shamy dynamic, so I hope you all enjoyed it. Also, regarding the comments on the Shamy sex, that was in no way a slight to shippers who want that to happen; the idea for that scene simply came to me and I liked it, so I included it, but it was not intended to insult Shamy shippers who want them to have sex eventually. Anyway, thanks to all who read this fic and, again, I love reviews, so feel free to leave some. :)