Okay, Hey Guys! This is my first story on Fanfiction! So please review and tell me how I am doing! I really want some of you authors out there to give me ideas and advice on how to make this story even better! Thanks! Well, here's the story or the start of it...

I'm a young 13-year-old girl with blue eyes, black hair with red highlights, and slightly pale skin, and I was staring at one of my brother's band mates and best friends. I couldn't help but love his pearly white smile, his dark brown coco eyes, his spiked brown hair, and pale skin. I knew I couldn't date him because he only saw me as a little sister; not a girlfriend. My brother wouldn't even accept the idea of his band mate and I going out! I just couldn't help it, it just came to me one day and I suddenly saw him as more than a brother, as a crush!

I know he wouldn't go out with a girl like me! I'm too short, ugly, too young (of course), weak, pathetic, and not lovable! I'm not beautiful and I know that he knows that. Wait! Scratch that! EVERYONE knows that! I don't get why my brother, Carlos Garcia, brought me here. Probably because he felt pity for me. Typical Carlos, trying to make everyone feel all happy inside and never sad. I hate to break it to him that I'm depressed not happy, AT ALL! I don't get why James tries to help me out with picking out clothes whenever we both go to the mall, so I could get a new video game. Maybe James also feels pity for me, and he's showing it by trying to make me look prettier than I am already. I know that's not possible. Kendall also feels pity for me because he's giving me guitar and singing lessons. I suck at singing and playing guitar. I have a terrible voice; maybe that's why Kendall always hurries out of the room when we are done with the lessons. EVEN Logan feels pity for me. He always helps me on every single piece of homework I get from school! I can't even think how Logan would have a crush on a 'Good-For-Nothing' like me. YUP! That's right!

I, Alexis Corcello Garcia, have a crush on The Logan Mitchell!

"I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up."

I woke to my alarm clock ringing out, "GET UP GET UP! TIME TO WAKE UP!", yeah it's very annoying, that's why it's my alarm. I finally got so annoyed with it, that I slammed my fist onto the snooze button.

"ALEXIS! TIME TO GET UP! WE ARE HEADING TO THE STUDIO SO GET UP!" my brother pounded on my door, sounding excited.

I guess he was excited because it's my first time going with them to see how they work. I wasn't very thrilled to meet this Gustavo person! He sounded scary and mean. I mean if he called my brothers(and crush) 'dogs', I wonder what he would call me. Puppy? Cat? Kitty? Midget? Lil Carlos? Okay well maybe not the last one. I groaned and dragged myself out of bed, flying to the carpet floor. Suddenly the carpet felt comfy enough to fall asleep on.

"LEXI! COME ON! WE'RE LEAVING IN 30 MINUTES! HURRY UP!" exclaimed Carlos, from the other side of my door.

I muffled a reply and got up. I sleepily threw on a big gray sweatshirt that had a hoodie attached to it. Oh did I mention I cut because of all the pain I feel? Oh, we'll now you know! I couldn't take the pain of knowing there was no way I could have Logan love me as a girlfriend (and not as a little sister), so I started to cut myself. I also remembered the day when Kendall was so close to figuring out that I was a cutter.


Kendall and I finally finished my guitar lesson, and singing lesson. I was so tired from all the vocals he got me to somehow do. I think he bribed me with money? Well I have $50 in my pocket now! Kendall was already gone, so I took this as a perfect time to cut myself before everyone got home. I sprinted into the bathroom and locked the door shut, so no one could come in and catch me in the act of cutting myself! I always take precautions whenever I'm going to cut myself in the bathroom. I don't want anyone finding out about my addiction because then they will force me to go to a mental house full of other mental people! I bet everyone would like that, that I'll be gone! Our of there lives! FOR GOOD! No visiting Carlos' ugly, mental little sister! I sighed and grabbed my pain reliever; my razor. I gently laid the sharp end onto my already abused arm (it's full of cuts that's what I meant by 'already abused arm'), and then I quickly jabbed the blade into my kind of tan skin, making it bleed. My blood resembled my tears that never flood out of my lifeless, metal colored eyes. 'No one would have to know about this. No one would! I can only know!' I thought I myself as I continued to drag the blade down my bare wrist."HEY LEXI?! YOU IN THERE?" I jumped at the sound of Kendall's voice on the other side of the bathroom door.This was bad, he could see me cutting myself and send me to one of those mental hospitals! Crap! This is VERY BAD!"Uhm... Yeah! One second!" I answered, grabbing some bandages and wrapping up my cuts.I then applied some of Mrs. Knight's make-up on the bandages, making them look like my bare skin. This just had to work, and if not I'm ruining my chances (like a 1% chance) with Logan, FOREVER! I opened the door to come face to face with a concerned looking Kendall. "Yes?" I asked in a boring way, looking up at him. "What were you doing in there?" demanded Kendall, crossing his arms, while staring at me with this 'You-Better-Tell-Me-Right-Now-And-Don't-Lie' look in his eyes."Just going pee and poop!" I smiled innocently.Even though I was lying to cover up the fact that I was cutting, I couldn't help but feel proud of myself for not caving in and telling Kendall about me being in love with Logan which led me to cutting knowing he wouldn't ever love me back! So I was very proud of my lying skills that Logan taught me back in Minnesota!"Okay, FYI!" said Kendall, looking disgusted."Hey! You asked! Not me!" I laughed silently, as I walked back to my black and red themed room.~End of Flashback~

I groaned again; as I finished getting dressed into a gray sweatshirt, and light gray sweat pants, and gray tennis shoes. Plus I added a touch of make-up and accessories.

I hate make-up, and jewelry, but I need to get Logan to notice me even though I know it's never going to happen. The only piece of Jewelry I loved, was the clock heart locket I'm wearing! It has a picture of Carlos and my dead parents. On one side it has my mom and dad, and the other side has me as a baby in Carlos' arms with our parents right behind us smiling big, bright smiles into the camera. I looked so cute back then, I remembered all the times Carlos and the boys helped me learn how to talk when I was four; yeah, it took me a long time to learn how to talk, I wasn't very bright back then like Carlos. I guess it ran in the family genes. My mom said, when I was around 8 and still in Minnesota with the other guys, that Logan helped me learn how to walk. He was the first person I walked to without falling down. I loved hearing that, because I developed a small crush on Logan back then, but it went away and then came back.

I guess it will never go away, the feelings I have for Logan, the pain I receive whenever I see other girls flirt with him, or whenever I realize he wouldn't be in love with a girl like me. I guess this was the way god meant it all to be.

I sighed as I walked out of my room, and into the Kitchen to see the boys waiting for me. They're always rushing to get to work, just so this Gustavo person won't get all so worked up and have a fit or a tantrum! It drives me insane when they make too much noise in the morning. I need sleep too! I don't even know how these boys can get up so early and go to work to meet a yelling producer or whatever Gustavo is.

"GREAT! You're ready! Now let's go before Gustavo gets mad for us being late…. Again!" exclaimed Kendall, as we all ran out of the apartment and into the elevator, after saying goodbye to Mrs. Knight and Katie, who was still asleep on the orange couch.

When we reached the lobby, we actually sprinted out of the elevator, which made Mr. Bitters yell at us for running in the lobby, but who cares about that fatty? Haha! We slow down to a halt and hopped into the Big Time Rush Mobile. This was my very first time going ANYWHERE with the guys, since we first moved here for them to become famous pop-star singers! The mobile came to a complete stop at this big building that had the name, "Roque Records" on it, in big, bold letters! I gulped; maybe this isn't a great idea for me coming here with the guys. I wasn't a big fan of heights, nor crowds. I'm very shy to anyone I just met.

"Come on Lexi! You can finally hear your big bro sing!" announced Carlos, smiling like a big goof ball.

Oh, whom am I kidding? He is a big goof ball all the time! That's one of the reasons why I love him as a brother, minus the fact that he is my brother!

"Fine…" I mumbled, as I ran to catch up with the other boys.

I just hope that I won't do anything that I would regret doing! Or even ruin the chances of my brothers (and crush) staying here, by being a burden and an idiot to Gustavo.