Just scribbled this down, couldn't remember if they said where the hospital was so I'm saying it was Ohio. Deal with it.

John Winchester has died four times in his life.

The fourth and final time was, of course, at 10:42 a.m. at the hospital in Ohio, while Dean lay dying several floors above him. He had never felt more right in anything than in the deal he made with Azazel that night, and he had slipped from the world feeling, if not happy, then satisfied with what he was leaving behind.

The third time, only a few years earlier, was the night of the most devastating fight in John's life. There were no vampires, no demons, no monsters of any kind. Just a headstrong son who was the mirror image of himself, the genius one who wouldn't accept a bullshit answer and wouldn't lie down without one hell of a fight. Wouldn't lie down at all. Silence had permeated the Impala for weeks after Sam left, while John tried and failed miserably to accept the gaping hole where his second son should have been.

The second time was the beginning of the end, John realized as he died in the hospital. That was the night he fell asleep watching Band of Brothers reruns on television, after putting Dean and little Sammy to bed, and awoke to screams and the smell of smoke and burning flesh. He remembered the sensation of his heart exploding inside his chest, even as he gripped his youngest son in his arms so fiercely, as though afraid he too might disappear, vanish forever from his life. Before Mary died, he had been sure he was in the clear, that everything was going to different, was going to be alright.

Because the first time he died was the same day he changed his named to Winchester and his accent to American. The same day he left the flat on Baker Street, with the image of the man that he loved plummeting to the ground below still searing in his mind, and the cracking voice of Sherlock Holmes ringing in his ears.