Title: Friedrich und sein Albrecht
Warnings: Slash! Male on male, you are warned.
Spoilers: Yes… but I will be changing the end.
Feedback: Yes please!
Disclaimer: Sadly enough, the characters are not mine, but I wish they were.
Summary: What will happen after Friedrich saves Albrecht from drawning and they move to Albrecht's home so that he can get better again? How will their relationship change?
A/N: I really hope that you will like and I love feedback since that's the only way to know what you are doing wrong. But beware, this is my first fanfiction that I post here.
You drive me crazy
Albrecht woke up as the sun was starting to slip in through the windows and he couldn't hide his face in his pillow anymore – which happened to feel really, really soft! That was when everything dawned him, he was at home again because of his stupid mistake. Why had he done that, oh, well he had his reasons and they would always be there somewhere in the back of his head even if he would try to keep the away. He knew that he was still on the edge even if yesterday had made him feel… So much lighter. He guessed that he just needed Friedrich much more than he wanted to admit. He felt so stupid when he thought about it and he knew that it was wrong. Kissing another boy… God, if his father and mother knew he surely wouldn't be alive anymore and he started wondering if it maybe wouldn't have been better if he actually would have drawn instead. That way they would never get to know anything and he wouldn't bring any shame up on them. Since that's what he thought he did right now.
He thought about the painting of his father and his older brother again. No one talked about his brother since they all knew that both his father and mother would break down if he was mentioned but even so they still celebrated his birthday and held a party every year and invited their family members, his father's friends and every friend of his brother. They wanted everyone to remember him even if he would never come back and Albrecht knew he was just a consolation prize and everyone expected him to be like his brother but he was not him and he would never be.
Albrecht had never met his brother but he didn't need to since he already knew everything about him and apparently he was everything he is not. Brave and though, tall and well build.
Albrecht rose up from his bed and walked over to his bureau and looked at himself in the mirror. Yep, he was everything that his brother wasn't. No wonder his father hated him. Albrecht just wished that he would finally accept him for who he was and stop wanting to change him since it wouldn't work.
A pair of warm arms wrapped themselves around Albrecht's thin waist and he jumped in surprise but as the person behind him smiled at him through the mirror he smiled and leaned back against him.
"Good morning," Friedrich said, his voice thick with sleep. "Did you sleep well?"
Albrecht turned around and looked up at the blonde boy. "Yea, morning. I think I slept okay. I didn't have any nightmares."
"Do you have nightmares often?"
"I think I have them more often than other people."
Friedrich frowned and walked over to his bed and sat down. He patted on the mattress for Albrecht to sit down and the smaller boy awkwardly did. They sat in silence and looked at each other's hands which were placed on their laps. Friedrich raised his arm and placed it around Albrecht's shoulders and pulled him closer to his chest.
"What do you usually dream off?" he asked and looked into the brunettes eyes.
Albrecht let his head rest on Friedrich's shoulder as he begun talking.
"Usually I dream of what I would want my life to look like and when I wake up I understand that it will never happen and that's why they are nightmares…"
"What do you want your life to look life?" Friedrich asked as he took Albrecht's hand in his and the smaller boy smiled and squeezed his hand back.
"I actually dream of my brother."
"Yes, I have a brother, or had. I have never met him though. He died before I was born and it was actually the reason for me to be born."
Friedrich looked at his friend with confuse. He didn't understand what Albrecht was telling him. So what if he had a brother? Shouldn't that be wonderful? He meant, he had a little brother and he loved Hans as much as he loved his mother or Albrecht, which was a lot.
"My parents were crushed after his death and decided to get a copy of him, me. But I'm a failed one. I'm nothing like my brother was and I just wish he was here again so that I could be who I am instead of them trying to make me into him."
"Don't they know that there will never be someone who is the same as someone else?"
"Well, I think the reason why my father likes you so much is because you reassemble my brother a lot. You are just as thought and brave and I know he wished I was like that too but I will never be!"
Albrecht was shaking and tears started to flow down his eyes and as Friedrich saw that he started to kiss the brunette. First just small pecks on his cheeks, forehead, jaw, everywhere he could and then he kissed Albrecht's lips and time stopped. Friedrich's lips moved softly against Albrecht's and Albrecht placed his arms around his savior's shoulders to get better access and their kiss grew hungrier. Soon Albrecht tip of his tongue was begging for entrance into Friedrich's mouth and Friedrich gladly met him with his own tongue. Friedrich knew that Albrecht had never French kissed before since he was his first kiss so he couldn't understand were his boldness had come from but he didn't mind.
"You drive me crazy," Friedrich breathed out as he tried to slow down. He knew that if they kept going he wouldn't be able to stop his instincts, he was a man after all.
"I do?" Albrecht breathed out surprised. He couldn't understand that he could get someone to feel anything at all. He was just… he was just Albrecht. He didn't have long hair that tickled or soft curves or breasts. He was… a boy.
"More than anyone else has ever done!" Friedrich said with a mischievous smile. "I can't explain it but it just feels so, so good with you."
"Even if I don't have breasts?" Albrecht knew it was a stupid question but he just had to ask. He knew he would always feel insecure but he wanted to hear from Friedrich that he was good the way he was. That he didn't have to change anything.
"You are even better than breasts," said Friedrich with a broad smile and kissed Albrecht's cheek. "Much better!"
Albrecht couldn't stop himself from smiling back. He felt wonderful, he was finally enough for someone and that person was Friedrich. The one who he loved. Yes, he loved Friedrich.
"Albrecht, Schatz! Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes," Giesela said outside of the door and knocked before walking in. If she wouldn't have talked before the boys would have been caught in the act but they just enough time to move further away from each other and try to tidy up a bit.
"Ah, I see you are awake!" Giesela smiled at her son and Friedrich. She walked over to Albrecht's closet and started to pick out clothes and placed them on Albrecht's bureau. "We are going shopping later boys. I thought since you will stay here a while, Friedrich, we might just buy you some new clothes since I guess you didn't bring anything with you."
"Yes, that's true ma'am," Friedrich said awkwardly but smiled at her. He liked Albrecht's mother but she did destroy the moment earlier.
"Please, Giesela feels so much better since you already say Heinrich to my husband," Giesela said and smiled at the two boys who were still sitting on Friedrich's bed. "You can use these for now," she said and poked down at a pile of clothes still smiling but this time dreamingly. The clothes were her death son Robert's old clothes. She just couldn't bring herself to throw them away, one day they might fit Albrecht, she used to think so for now Friedrich could use them. She knew that Heinrich would see it directly but hopefully he wouldn't mind. "They are too big for Albrecht, but I do believe that they will fit you."
"Oh, that's sweet of you," Friedrich said as he moved over to hug Albrecht's mother. He didn't know her ulterior motive even if she also just meant it good. "I do think they will fit," he said as he held the clothes up in front of him.
"Great! Albrecht I lay yours down here," Giesela said before she walked over and kissed her son on his cheek. "Good morning, Schatz."
Albrecht smiled at her. Maybe this suicide attempt was what they needed to understand that he was a living person and not just a statue. "Morning, mother," he said and gave her a small hug before he got up and walked over to get her clothes as she left.
"Ten minutes, don't be late!"
"Okay!" the two teenagers yelled and smiled at each other as they once again were alone in the big room.
Giesela walked down the stairs and into the big dining room. She loved her house so much but sometimes she did miss their old house. Their old house had been very small but it felt more like a home than this big mansion since at that time they were always together. They did so many fun things but here it is like they live in different worlds. Albrecht was in his room or in the library most of the time and Heinrich was ether in his study or at work and she, yes she was in the garden most of the time or in one of the many living rooms sitting by the open fire reading a book.
Giesela loved reading just like her little Albrecht and she missed the times when he was at home and they would sit down together in the sofa and cuddle while she read out loud. She understood that he wasn't a baby anymore but for her it was like she had missed his whole childhood since he was sent to the military school. She had missed him a lot, only seeing him on the holidays and on birthdays wasn't enough if you asked her. It would never be and that's why she decided not to read the texts that he had written since it would only make her miss him even more.
She was pulled out of her thoughts as she saw her husband walk into the room and sit down on his chair. It was always the same one and she knew that he would never let anyone sit there or on her place on his left side. That was only for her.
"Good morning, Liebling. How come you are up already?" she asked with a smile on her lips. "I thought you would sleep until noon since you were up late yesterday."
"Yes, that's what I planned on doing but I just didn't sleep very well after you left earlier," he answered with a bitter tone. He had a hard time to actually sleep that night since his head was overworked with thoughts about Albrecht. He hated that his son was such a weakling but it seemed like it was not something he could change so he might just start and accept it.
"Oh," Giesela said with a surprised tone, it had never accorded her that her husband would have problems sleeping without her after so many years of her waking up earlier when he had been out the night before. "I'm sorry, dear."
Not really wanting to talk about it Heinrich tried to change the subject. "So how do you think Albrecht is doing?"
"I don't know, dear. It seems like he's a little bit happier now that he's at home again but I don't want to say anything yet. We just have to wait and see."
Heinrich sighed, he wanted his son to get better as fast as possible. Even if Albrecht was weak and he would try to accept it he still wanted the boy to finish his school since it would be good for him in the future but Heinrich understood that with the Führer as their leader there was no place for someone like Albrecht.
"Yes, I guess we do. I want to take him and Friedrich out after you have finished shopping and go hunting with them and some of my friends."
"That sounds wonderful, Liebling," Giesela said as she went over to kiss Heinrich on the cheek before she sat down on her chair and listened to the noises the boys made as they rushed down the stairs. They must be hungry, she thought with an amused smile.
"It smells delicious!" Friedrich said as he sat down by the table and his mouth was starting to water as he saw all the food in front of him.
"Plesase tell Suzanne that, she would love to hear it," Giesela said and explained that Suzanne was the housekeeper and cook in their house and she had been working for them since they moved there for some years ago.
"I will," Friedrich laughed as he started to spread the butter on his bread. "Hey, Albrecht are you only going to eat that?"
Albrecht looked up at his friend surprisingly. He had a slice of bread on his plate and a small apple was placed to its right. He thought Friedrich knew that he never ate much when they were in school ether but now that he had mentioned it his father looked at him with a suspicious eye.
"Do I ever eat more?"
"I don't-," Friedrich begun but was cut off as Heinrich looked over at his thin son and said;
"He is right. You should eat more son, you look thinner and thinner after every time I see you."
Albrecht sighed, this was just too much! Why in God's name were they picking on him and his eating habits? Did they always just have to see the bad things in him instead of the good, he wondered. At times like this he just wanted to disappear down under the ground until they would let go off it.
"Please excuse me," Albrecht said as he rose up and walked out of the dining room, his food untouched.
"Great," Heinrich sighed and leaned back in his chair with an disappointed look on his face.. "Would you please make sure that he'll eat it later?" he asked as he looked straight at Friedrich, eyes pleading.
"Of course, sir," Friedrich said with an unsure voice. He didn't really know what to do since he was the one who started it since he thought Albrecht ate way to little.
"Heinrich, Friedrich. My name is Heinrich."
"Right," Friedrich said as he finished his food and walked out of the big room to search for Albrecht. He walked out in the garden sand down the footpath to the little lake that he knew was just behind the huge house, hidden by trees and bushes. He had never been there before but Albrecht had once mentioned it and it had just suddenly popped up in his mind and it was as if something in him knew he would be there and Friedrich could just smile at himself as he saw the beautiful boy look at the lake –his eyes filled with longing.
Albrecht was sitting on a small bench build for two that had already been there when they moved here but at that time it had stood in the porch and his mother had decided that it wasn't pretty enough to be there so she wanted to throw it away but Albrecht had convinced her that they could place it out here since then she wouldn't see it and if someone of them decided to go down there to just think they didn't need to sit on the ground. Perfect, Albrecht had thought and still did.
The bench was white and was made out of steel and it had beautiful patterns carved into it. Albrecht guessed that the whole reason why she didn't want to have it there was not because it was not pretty but since she wanted to make their house a bit more German-like and the bench wasn't. But Albrecht loved sitting here alone and philosophize since it was like everything didn't matter anymore once he was there.
"Hey Albrecht," he heard Friedrich say and his footsteps got closer to him. Albrecht wanted Friedrich to be here as much as he wanted to be here alone. He figured that he may as well let the other boy stay here since. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that when your father was there…"
"Sometimes you have to think before acting," Albrecht answered simply. "But I guess it's true. I just can't eat anymore. I feel like someone else could use that food much more than I!"
Friedrich sat down next to Albrecht on the white bench and looked out over the small lake. He wanted to make his best friend feel better so he placed his arm around his shoulder and pulled him close to himself.
"Well, don't you think that it is better that someone –like you- eat the food instead so that it won't go to waste?"
"I know but I just can't do it."
"You stubborn idiot," Friedrich groaned and leaned down to ruffle his friends hair. The smaller boy tried to get away but instead Friedrich pulled him down in his own lap and started kissing his neck. "You should take care of yourself."
"Doesn't seem like you do. Maybe I should just grab you on my shoulder and walk to the house again so that you will eat something."
"Don't you da-," Albrecht begun but it was too late since Friedrich had already placed the brunette on his shoulder and was heading to the mansion. "Friedrich, put me down!"
Friedrich just smiled as he saw the look of the cleaners when he walked down the halls with their young master struggling to get away from him. This will definitely be a day they won't forget very fast, they all thought.
"Heinrich," Friedrich called out as he was in the dining room again. "Look who I bought back! Where should I put him down?"
"Now that's what I call muscles!"
Friedrich turned to Giesela and smiled at her as he once again asked where he should put the purr boy. She just pointed at where he sat before and Friedrich gently placed down his friend on his chair again and patted him on his hair that now was a mess.
"Friedrich," he gritted between his teeth. "How dare you-!"
"Albrecht, please eat your breakfast," his mother told him with a stern voice. "Afterwards we will go to the town."
Albrecht rolled his eyes as he saw his mother smile at the word shopping but he did like she said and begun to eat his breakfast. He couldn't say that it did not taste good, since it was a lot better than the food at Allenstein –which actually was really good- but it just made him feel so bad since he still thought that someone else could need it more.
Friedrich smiled at his friend and he felt his whole body become warmer as the smaller boy finally ate. Friedrich was so scared that he would somehow lose Albrecht for real if he didn't watch his every movement and took care of him.
After Albrecht finally finished his breakfast they walked together to the front yard where the car waited for them. Giesela decided that she was going to sit in the front since it was an opportunity that she didn't get a lot since her husband always wanted to sit there.
"Where to, ma'am?"
"Just drive us to the city, you know where I like to do my shopping the most, don't you Heinz?"
The driver, Heinz smiled at Giesela and nodded his head. "Of course I do, ma'am."
"Good," she said and smiled sweetly back at him.