Chapter One: Meeting Infinite Soul Mates
Sheldon was alone in the apartment, not that he would have it any other way. With Leonard and Penny having continued their carnal relationship, they'd moved to her apartment, doing what they normally did which involved the unsanitary exchange of bodily fluids. Raj was elsewhere, probably with Howard at work or in some other uninteresting location where the two regularly hung out. And, being that Amy was no longer his girlfriend, Amy was with Stuart at a comic book store, or as her facebook status was updated, she was located apparently at the movies.
Sheldon clicked off the internet, feeling unusually alone. He didn't care for human companionship; he could take it or leave it. Before Leonard, he didn't want or need it, but the friendships he'd obtained were almost…necessary. He was alone, all right, and for once in his life, Sheldon was compelled to seek company.
He found it on his MySpace, where he had over two-hundred friends, or would-be friends. He felt neither compelled to associate personally with them; he merely blogged his ideas, they responded, and the commentary below aforementioned idea would continue.
Clicking to this site, Sheldon glanced around the apartment, knowing he was alone. For some reason, he did this constantly. It wasn't a crime for him to be on the internet, granted it was his bedtime; it was three minutes past nine o'clock, but he knew finding friends at this point of time would be not only unnecessary, per the time, but also unlikely. Leonard and Penny would be performing coitus, and he definitely didn't want to barge in on that, or even wish to hear it.
Howard was probably with Bernedette, and Raj was most likely transpiring in his apartment, arguing with Priya, who was still sore about Penny's ability to obtain Leonard. None of this mattered to Sheldon; the problems in relationships were no cross for him to bear. He bore such things with Amy, merely because she was his equal as far as intelligence was concerned. Her carnal pleasures had taken to Stuart; Sheldon was still considering that perhaps he was jealous, but it didn't concern him.
He moved the mouse over 'notifications' when his MySpace alerts made a soft 'pop'. Seeing them, he smiled ever so faintly.
'You have been Followed by Kate Burns.'
Sheldon made a quiet 'hm'. He was curious. He had followers of each gender, for who would not like to hear his thoughts on the topics of every day life. He clicked on her profile, and a picture of a blonde female came to the middle of the screen. Her full name was Kate. A. Burns, which in her profile, she specified her middle name to be 'Amy'. It was odd.
It's not a coincidence, Sheldon thought. Of course not. Coincidences were not real; in fact, they could easily be calculated. Still, it was interesting to know that there was follower. It made him smile. He looked further into profile, reading her biography, the general details of her stature.
'Height: 5'6.' She was a great deal shorter than him. Who needed stature?
'Occupation: Trauma Surgeon, Ph.D., M.D. (MMMS)'
Sheldon was a little impressed at her credentials. The abbreviations were easy to understand, and in what they specified was hardly cryptic. Kate Burns, or so said her name to be, was a trauma surgeon—doctorate, masters—the MMMS—Master of Medicine, Master of Surgery. Still, even his friends—well, except Penny and Howard—were doctorates. What intrigued him more was that he was actually interested in his new follower, or more really, that he even recognized her to be remotely appealing to the eye. Her physicality was very attractive; her profile picture had bright green eyes, a peculiar gleam to them, and her smile was almost plastered to be constantly a grin.
Sheldon continued on, forgetting about her appearance. He continued reading. Of course, it was no longer a multiple choice/Selection process for the rest of it. In fact, the rest of the bio was pretty much all fill-in-the-blank, which Sheldon enjoyed as his answers were spot-on to his preferences. Hers seem to be her own making as well.
'Religion: What religion?'
Sheldon exhaled a breathy laugh, ha-ha. Her question to the question was humorous.
'Sexual Orientation: Straight.'
'Hobbies: Video games, Fate, Skyrim, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Star Trek, Batman'.
Sheldon was perplexed. How could a hobby be Batman? More or less, how could a hobby be an object, idea, or anything in particular? Unless, she was stating that her interests and hobbies frequently coincided so rather than answering a question twice, she joined them together as one to spare her the tedious typing. Sheldon shrugged; smart girl.
"Batman," Sheldon muttered. He smiled. No real hero but the caped crusader—apparently, she liked the masked bat a lot. "Continuing on…"
'Favorite Movie: Refer to Hobbies/Interests, i.e. above.'
'Favorite Books: Anything.'
That was the last of the 'favorite'. The next category was simply questions answered by those who spent their life on the internet and figured if they were spending that much time on something as that, they can spend time answering the questions. Sheldon was one of them. He saw that Kate Burns, or rather, Dr. Kate Burns, was another.
'Who is your favorite super hero? Batman.'
'Who is your second favorite super hero? Flash.'
'If you could meet anyone in the world, who would it be?'
The answer to the question more than flattered Sheldon Cooper as he saw his name written as her answer; she even put his title, Doctor, before his name, and the following degrees he'd obtained, and were written on his site. Sheldon's eyebrows raised; he was slightly impressed.
The last question of the survey was what 'The One' would be like if she ever met him, or pending sexual orientation, her. Sheldon wasn't interested with things like this, but because his name was on her profile, and the fact that her interests included his as well, he became very interested in her answer.
'What is your ideal mate? I believe there are many mates in the world that can be or would be ideal to me. In a multiple universe, we have infinite numbers of ourselves in infinite universes. Despite my knowledge in this, I have only myself as one person to figure out this question, so my ideal mate would most likely be, in any universe, intelligent. I have no qualms with physicality, just as long as I can connect with him on an intellectual level.'
Sheldon thought of how Raj and Howard and put him on a dating site, and found an equal mate that matched his caliber. Amy, of course, was the match, and she had been the only match that the internet had, as Howard mentioned, 'spat out'. But Sheldon agreed with Kate, or at least, she had agreed with him, with the multiple-universe theorem. The fact that there were many universes was tangent, the fact that Kate understood the world was filled with idiots was yet another that intrigued Sheldon. Perhaps he was not the only more-evolved humanoid on this Earth. But he suspected that like Amy, Kate was susceptible to baser urges; what girl wasn't?
"We can come up with some agreement, some contract," Sheldon muttered vaguely. He didn't intend to meet this woman anyway; he was looking for company, not another difficult relationship as Amy had given him, or rather, trapped him in. Sheldon shrugged. He could use this as a second experiment. Were relationships all that bad as long as he found a disproving experiment? He'd have to find out.
As he thought about communicating with her, it wasn't long before a chat bubble popped up in his lower right screen: Kate Burns would like to Chat, Accept?
Sheldon glanced at his clock. It was nine-thirty. Lord, where did the time go? Still, he was alone, and he didn't have to work tomorrow. His routine would suffer for it though, but his uncertain need for the company was very unnerving. He'd not sleep a wink feeling this way, his insomnia would overpower.
Sheldon sighed and accepted the chat bubble's invitation. When he did, the next line boosted his ego.
Thank you for accepting my invite, Dr. Cooper. I was wondering if I would get the opportunity to speak to you.
Sheldon grinned broadly. He typed back.
I only hesitated for a few milliseconds before divulging. I noticed you are now one of my followers.
Her response was immediate as his.
I am. You should also investigate Twitter.
Why is that?
I'm a follower on there as well; I find your blogs quite intriguing.
Most people do.
Sheldon found the conversation, so far to date, very stimulating. He wondered why Penny couldn't talk as Amy or Kate did, then again her lacking in educating further than half a degree in Community College would have explained that. He should have known better than to ask himself that before knowing the answer. Oh well.
The woman's reply was longer than her last responses.
Does it not irk you that my following status of your Twitter and MySpace account is intricately odd, if not more disturbing or perturbed? For all you know, Dr. Cooper, I may be a creeping fan girl? What are the odds that I am as I say I am, or furthermore, that you are the true Dr. Sheldon Cooper? You know how people are on these websites. If I'm not mistaken, one of your followers as well, a Howard Wolowitz, fell under the impression that he was, as most people say, 'boinking' a rather attractive Glasinda the Troll, when in fact, it was a male janitor, working at your university.
Sheldon frowned. The complication of that last statement was oddly perplexing. How she came to find out that Bernedette and Howard had the so-called misunderstanding of that inquiry was surely befuddling. But twitter was like Facebook; gossip spread just as quickly and although Sheldon didn't participate in such hokum, he was acquainted with the situation. He responded.
Howard is a friend of mine, yes, and he did have an unlikely encounter with your aforementioned Troll. He was moronic to fall for the illusion, but then again, he only has a Master's Degree. As for my true identity, I'm the one and only Dr. Sheldon Cooper. The idea that there would be someone another the same world depicting my thoughts is an abomination.
Her response was apologetic.
Your defense is reasonable; I apologize. I wanted to be sure you were the true Dr. Cooper and now some addlepated twit. A question of interest: What is Howard majored in if not a doctorate?
He's an Engineer for the NASA program.
That sounds interesting.
Hardly; the field lacks definition of science; it's all mechanical. A simple-minded mechanic for the Deep Depths plumbing agency could figure it out.
That's rather insulting.
Sheldon figured the woman would exit out of the chat like all the other interviewers did. His honesty was truthful, his opinions were his own, and if asked, he stated them. Mrs. Mary Cooper raised no liars. However, her response was more than agreeable.
I agree that Howard Wolowitz could be able to go for a doctorate; after all, it's presented in his field; the doctorate would only make him more appealing to science inquiries. At least it gives him an edge to associate with lesser minds.
How is that appealing?
I never said it was appealing; I said it gave him an edge, not you.
Yes. I'm actually not interested in Wolowitz; it was pleasant conversation.
This is a pleasant conversation, I agree. I was reading over your personal biography, as it is meant to be read. I noticed your occupation features surgery.
Yes, I'm a trauma Surgeon. I work in Pasadena General Hospital; it's a few miles from where I live. I enjoy the field.
I can't imagine why. The germs you accompany from the hospital would be terrifying.
I acquire no germs. I'm actually very…oh, how can you say…overt when it comes to dealing with germs and any other diseases that are acquired and transferred in the hospitals. You'd imagine what I can come up against therefore I wear gloves all throughout my shift—bathroom, during the shift, during my break.
Sheldon smiled. It was ironic that a doctor—more or less, a surgeon—would be as hygienic as he. The thought was interesting, that was for sure.
I believe your situation VS the diseases in the hospital are, as the terminology states, 'dramatic irony'. Truth be told that if people were more concerned about their welfare and less concerned about quick transfer, we'd have broken through the biological warfare long ago and never need to worry about any of it.
Dr. Cooper, I could no more agree with you than I have already. I understand your field of expertise is physics.
I'm an expert at really anything now and days, but yes, I'm not a stranger to physics. One can certainly learn to fight these atrocities accommodated throughout hospitals with physics if one would learn to do so.
One has to understand physics in order to do so; some people are ignorant in that regard. I, myself, allude to the fact. I'm a surgeon and do not understand many physics but respect the people that do.
Sheldon was a bit disappointed. She proved to be exceptionally intelligent but her lack of knowledge in his work was quite offensive, still, he had grown to accept Amy with her lack of knowledge in the field, even somewhat admired her knowledge in neurobiology. Then again, the acceptance had taken a wrong turn and thus ended that they were in the friendship-only zone, or as Leonard states, 'the friend-zone'. Sheldon shook it off.
I am a bit disappointed you don't understand the field. It's a fascinating practice.
I can only hope we can surpass the difference. You don't like my workplace, and I don't completely understand your area of expertise, but I'm sure we can overcome that in order to continue our supposed friendship, if friends you wish to be. If not, I completely understand that as well.
I can teach you physics; I'll never grow fond of your workplace. Then again, I've lived with a man who delves himself in experimental physics, so I'm guessing it won't be too hard to befriend a woman who delves into the anatomy of decapitated and otherwise doomed sickles.
Morbid, but understood, Doctor.
It's getting late, Dr. Burns. I'm retiring for the night. I keep a well-strict routine and as much as I enjoyed our conversation, I'm afraid I can't have you interrupting it.
Understood. We shall have future conversations.
Indeed. Good night.
Good night, Doctor Cooper.
Oh nonsense, I think we can at least advance our friendship to an initial step in aforementioned friendship. Call me Sheldon.
More than obliged; You may call me Kate.
Very well. Good night, Kate.
Good night, Sheldon.
Sheldon exited the window and he glanced at his clock. It was nearly ten-thirty; he'd spent an hour typing to a surgeon. It was interesting how lonliness could depart your soul to Hell and back. Then again, it wasn't a bad conversation. It was almost as stimulating as those he'd had with Amy. Ah, Amy. Sheldon frowned.
"The beating organ of a humanoid has no boundaries; it even welts in this homo-novus. Oh damn." Sheldon stated aloud. He shut down his computer and proceeded to his bedroom. Although his circadian rhythms would be slightly out of whack tomorrow, he knew he could sleep a little better.