Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition
Disclaimer: I do not own Saturday Night Live, Celebrity Jeopardy, or the King of Fighters series. Just to let you know.
The Celebrity Jeopardy theme song had played again as the host Alex Trebek is now standing alongside three new fighters and a returning fighter ready to test his skill again.
"Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition." Trebek replied to the camera once again feeling low. "I thought that our second episode would be our last, but since God hates me, it was popular enough to order a third episode. Let's just look at the scores. Kula Diamond is in first place with a score of $5."
"It feels so good to be here! I don't think I've ever been good at something like this before! I bet with this money, I get all the free Ice Cream I could ever get!" Kula exclaimed happily.
"Yeah, wouldn't we all?" Trebek said with a stressful sigh, "Next up, we have Mai Shiranui in 2nd place with -5,000."
"Wow, I'm never been so nervous in my life." Mai said feeling a little shy, "I hope my sweat doesn't pop open my top! That would be just so silly... but who cares! I'm on TV and I'm having a blast! HAHAHA!" Mai laughed as her big bouncy succulent breasts was bouncing happily with her jumping. Even one of her breasts came very close to flashing through a network audience.
"Just like the blast I'm gonna hear when the gun gets pointed to my head." Trebek sighed depressingly as he looked at the final contestant with such groaned intent, "And finally, in last place with -9,000... Kyo Kusanagi is here... yet again."
"I wouldn't miss it for the entire world, ya crap-filled dope fiend." Kyo said to Trebek, smirking his butt off. "I never get tired one bit, unlike your mother last night..."
"Oh, woe is me..." Trebek said as he rolled his eyes constantly, "It's now time for Double Jeopardy, let's take a look at the board. They are: 'Potent Potables', 'How Many Sides a Circle Has', 'Animals That Ends With The Letters 'ird', 'News', 'Figure It Out Yourself', and finally 'Don't Say Anything' in which if you don't say even one word, you get points. Kula, since you're in the lead, you start."
"Start what?" Kula said, who looked at Trebek like she wasn't even paying attention.
"The competition. You get to choose a category." Trebek said, just informing Kula to choose.
"Nah, I don't feel like it. I want some ice cream! Do you have any?" Kula replied to Trebek, just smiling.
"We can't eat in the middle of the show!" Trebek said with a stern voice.
"You suck..." Kula muttered angrily at Trebek as she crossed her arms and turned the other cheek.
"I know..." Trebek muttered sadly as he now focused on Mai, who was still adjusting her boobs. "Mai Shiranui, you start instead."
"Okay, let me have 'Go To The Bathroom' for $400!" Mai suggested as he raised her hand on the air while her breasts flopped around doing so.
"Miss Shiranui, that was a category in our last episode. It's not a category this time. So let's just go with Animals That Ends With The Letters 'ird' for $400. " Trebek replied as the clue popped on the board, "This is the only animal that ends with the letters 'ird'."
Immediately, Kyo decided to buzz in.
"Mr. Kusanagi?" Said Trebek.
"Suck on this, ya appletard!" Kyo exclaimed to Trebek as he gave the host of Celebrity Jeopardy the middle finger. Trebek looked at it and was disgusted at the sight.
"Not that kind of animal!" Trebek said to Kyo, just fuming right at the mouth. Mai decided to take her shot at it by buzzing in, "Miss Shiranui?"
"What is Turd?" Mai said with a guess. Trebek was just astounded.
"No." Trebek replied.
"Ha! She said 'turd'!" Kyo said, just laughing his ass off and pointing at Mai's response to the question.
"I hate you so much..." Trebek said just putting his fingers on the top angle of his nose like he was ashamed, "The answer was 'Bird'! B-I-R-D! Bird!" Trebek then focused his attention to Kula. "Ms. Diamond, you have control of the board."
Kula wasn't paying attention again. Instead, she was busy eating a bowl of strawberry ice cream just to pass the time, indicating she didn't even care about this competition anymore.
"Kula, you're NOT supposed to eat that in the middle of the show! Don't you even care about winning?" Trebek said to Kula as he was just upset by this, "Don't you even wanna win."
"Nah, it's way too hard. I wanna eat ice cream! That's way more fun than winning! Even Diana says so! You wanna meet her?" Kula replied to Trebek as a dip of Ice Cream landed right on her red-purple suit. Most notably her chest.
"No I do-you're dripping it all over the place!" Trebek said right to Kula, who was making a total mess of herself.
"That's what your mother said last night!" Kyo said shooting right at Trebek with one of his insults.
"I can't believe I said that..." Trebek said right to himself, looking very ashamed. "Let's just go to 'How Many Sides A Circle Has' for $800. 'This is how many sides a circle has.'"
Kyo then decided to buzz in once again.
"Two!" Kyo exclaimed in a trance-like state. He seems to be staring at something and not paying attention to the clue.
"No, Mr. Kusanagi. How can there be two sides to a circle?" Trebek said with such stern annoyance.
"Oh, I have my reasons, Trebek..." Kyo smirked as he seems to be staring at Mai's luscious breasts. The look on Kyo's face felt like he was some sort of wolf in heat. Mai looked at him in this state and giggled. Oh, so that's what he meant by two sides of a circle.
"He really does like my circles!" Mai spoke right to Trebek as she mushed them together so that Kyo could make a speedboat sound with them.
"MPBHBHBHBHBHBHBH!" Kyo said, just speedboating her rack.
"You're a very disgusting perv, Mr. Kusanagi." Trebek groaned sternly because of the display, "Let's just skip all the questions and go right to Final Jeopardy. The category is..." Trebek added as the rest of the contestants, including Kula looked at him in anticipation of what the final category was.
"You know what? You bastards don't deserve to know the category." Trebek told at them angrily as he ripped up the note cards. "Instead, just write the name or a picture of a fighter. Do that immediately and you win."
Hearing this, Kula, Mai and Kyo all grabbed their pens and began writing on their podiums as the Final Jeopardy theme music played.
"Remember, it can be any fighter you want. If you want to draw Terry Bogard, draw Terry Bogard. If you want to draw Ryo Sakazaki, draw Ryo Sakazaki. Or if you want to draw nobody, then draw nobody. I really don't give a damn." Trebek replioed to them as the rest of the fighters had finished with their answers and wagers. As the Final Jeopardy theme song ended, Trebek approached them, "Let's see what rare gems you came up with. Let's start with Kula Diamond. She wrote..."
Kula's answer happened to be, "Ice Cream".
"Ice cream. That doesn't count as a fighter, Kula." Trebek said right to Kula with disgrace.
"What can I say? I scream for it." Kula said to Trebek, just smiling at him.
"Whatever." Trebek said with a distressing sigh, "And you wagered..."
Kula's wager happened to be "More ice cream."
"'More ice cream... you need some counseling, I assume. I intend you get it..." Trebek said to Kula with such scorn as he approached Mai Shiranui's podium. However Trebek doesn't realize that Mai has disappeared onto the other podium, "Let's go to Mai Shiranui. Of course, she's wandered off somewhere. I assume she didn't write nothing..."
Mai's answer happened to be just a blank screen.
"I'm right..." Trebek replied, And I'm hoping she didn't wager anything..."
Mai's wager happened to be nothing. Zero. Zip.
"And I'm also right..." Trebek said with a sigh, "How typical of Miss Shiranui... let's go right to Kyo Kusanagi..."
As Trebek approached Kyo's podium, he saw the only thing that surprised him. A huge, hot and heavy make-out session between Kyo and Mai. There was so much passionate moaning and kissing all around them that it made Trebek a little dazed.
"And I'm certain he has his tongue inside Mai Shiranui..." Trebek said, just looking on the makeout display between the two flame-bringers. "I'll ignore that, but let's see what Kyo wrote down..."
Kyo's answer happened to be: "Andy Bogard,".
"He just happened to write down 'Andy Bogard,'." Trebek said with such satisfaction in his face, "Well, Andy Bogard is a fighter, I assume. So despite his best efforts. Mr. Kusanagi managed to answer correctly."
Trebek then looked right on to the love-making twosome once again as Kyo took Mai in an all-around-the-world on his own podium.
"Okay, that's not normal..." Trebek replied right to the pair, who was too busy kissing and smooching to focus on the host himself, "Let's see what Mr. Kusanagi wagered..."
Kyo's wager happened to be: I f***ed Mai Shiranui
"You wagered that you're doing Mai..." Trebek replied right to Kyo, who just shooed Alex right away. "You're definitely one homewrecking pinhead." Trebek then focused right on the camera. "That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy, I'm gonna go try to kiss my own ass. Good day."
Andy would just flippin' lose it one bit. No doubt about it.
Who will be safe come next chapter? Read and review, science bitches! WINNING!