"Sorry about the trouble." The boy said, as I set down the last of his things in his room

"No problem." I answered dismissively, and walked out.

You know how when you look back on your life, and you can see certain milestones? Things that have changed your life forever? Things you say, "Thank goodness that happened. Otherwise I would have been a schmuck forever!" about.

Well, this was one of those things.

I suppose I need to explain this. See, the last of my little friend group had just died. Miroku had always been a trooper, and had outlived the rest of them by at least ten years. But, one hundred years definitely pushing it for human mortality, and he'd finally decided it was his time to go. Right after the Great War, the demons had left; gone to an alternate world, where they wouldn't have to deal with all the humans crowding their lives.

I'd thought it was the right idea to stay with my human friends. Things were going great with Kagome, and I didn't want to leave her, or any of the other friends I'd made over the years.


See, I forgot a about a little thing called aging. In very little time, humans got old, got ugly, and died. That was why, after twenty years of marriage, Kagome left me.

She was sick of my childishness, the stares and gossiping of the neighbors, and getting mistaken for my mom. I didn't blame her. I would have left me too. That doesn't mean I wasn't hurt. I spent two months trying to get drunk. It didn't work. I was forced to endure my pain in perfect sobriety. I finally left her world when she got remarried. I couldn't bear to watch her with anyone else.

So, I moved in with Miroku and Sango and their kids. Of their seven kids, I was "older" than only two, and the same age as their fifth child. But that was fine. I mainly hung out with their children, enjoying their company. They were refreshingly oblivious to my half-breed status, and the youngest even played with my ears.

But then, they grew up. They got families. Even the youngest, Mika, found a man, and started a family. Worse, they got boring, annoyed with my childish games. Miroku and Sango, were worse though, thinking my behavior was 'cute'. So, I spent more and more time by myself. I lost myself in the woods. I learned the language of the trees, and enjoyed their company. They were interesting, and had great senses of humor. They laughed some much about what the birds said and did, that I learned the language of the birds, too. And then the language of deer, and bears, and wolves.

After a while, I decided to go back to visit Miroku and Sango. It had been a couple months. It would be nice to see them again. To my astonishment, I found only Miroku. He said that Sango had died five years ago, age finally taking her. He told me I had been in the woods fifteen years.

Shocked, I resolved to stay with him until…well, until he forced me to say goodbye. And I did. But I still went to the forest, making sure never to stay their long. I preferred the company of the trees to those of the humans. Humans were so focused on the present. They couldn't comprehend the world as the trees could. It wasn't long before I began to see the humans as childish, not the other ways around.

Finally, Miroku fell into the final slumber. It was then that I realized how alone I was. I had no human friends, and I had passed to the point where I no longer missed them. I was about to go to the woods, but then I noticed something. I ship, bigger than I had ever seen. I investigated, listening to the ghost noises of the wood. Unlike humans, trees still spoke after death, telling their story again and again until they became ash. I was amazed by what I heard. They told of a world I'd never encountered before. One of daring exploits, of buildings, of blood. Where humans were building things I had never seen before. Where they were colonizing strange land. They spoke of a strange world. I had to see it. So, I stowed away in the lower chambers of the ship, listening endlessly to the trees' stories.

It was a success, because I realized that I needed no food. I had no reason to leave my place. With no food, I didn't even have to relieve myself. It was a shock, though. I was on the boat for two months, and I never needed for food. It was my first sign I wasn't normal. Even demons needed food, more than humans, in fact.

The second was when I was impaled during one of my human nights. I didn't die. Why? It shocked me. On top of that, I wasn't aging, but rather becoming more and more powerful. I no longer needed my sword for the Kaze no Kizu, or any of the other attacks, and I could make plants and animals do as I wished, as long as I knew their language.

And my ability for languages was growing. I soon learned the language of the water and the earth, and could control them, too. The wind came shortly after, constantly singing me songs. The only creatures beyond my control were humans. Intrigued by this, I walked through a city one day, listening. I definitely understood their language, so why could I not control them?

The answer came when I attended a church service in the city of Rome. Something about the language the priests spoke in felt more right than any of the other human languages I had heard yet. Latin, the language was called, was my key. If I spoke it, I could finally control humans.

When this finally happened, I realized how dangerous my powers were. I resolved never to speak again, and took to lying in trees and listening to the languages of the world.

That is, of course, until THAT day. I was lying in my favorite tree, when I heard somebody walking under me. It was nothing out of the ordinary; people often walked the particular pathway. But, suddenly, I heard a loud crash, and a boy's yelp. Looking down. I noticed a young boy had dropped what he had been carrying, many books, and a few large trunks almost as tall as he. Curious, I jumped down from my perch, landing effortlessly in front of him.

He screamed.

"I'm sorry, sir! Terribly, terribly sorry! I didn't know this was your forest! Don'teatmeDon'teatmeDon'teatme." He pleaded. I looked at him curiously, not understanding, until I realized that I hadn't bothered to hide my ears.

"I'm not going to eat you." I answered crossly. "Seriously, why do people automatically assume stuff like that? Just because I'm not human, doesn't mean I'm evil and like eating scrawny young boys. I just wanted to see what sort of a retard does something stupid like try to carry a thousand books when he obviously doesn't possess the coordination to do so."

"Well, sorry I'm not rich enough to get a carriage and I missed the Train."

"Train?" I didn't think those had been invented yet.

"Yes!" The boy's chest puffed out. "My school owns a whole train, and it holds one hundred people! One hundred! That's the whole school! And it doesn't even make us pay for a ticket! Isn't that wonderful?"

"Um, sure. But you missed it."

"It's not my fault! I just realized that I had bought the wrong book, so I had to go all the way back to freaking Diagon Alley, and use my last galleon to buy the right one, and by the time I got back, the train had left!"

"So it basically is your fault."

"Shut up! I'm having a bad day, okay? First I miss the train to my one chance to actually become something in life, and then I have to walk miles and miles in the wilderness, and I'm going to be days late getting to school! Maybe weeks late! And this is the third time I dropped everything, you know! It's just Awful! And today was supposed to be the best day in my life!" He started to cry.

"Jeez! D-Don't cry! You're a man, aren't you? Look, kid—sorry things didn't go your way." I shifted uncomfortably. I couldn't take children crying at me. And nothing I said was working. "um, okay. How about this? Wherever you're going can't be too far away. How about we walk there together? I'll carry your things, too."

The kid finally stopped crying at that, reducing himself to little whimpers. "you'd do that?"

"Sure! It's not like I have anything better to do. And we can talk on the way. Maybe you can tell me about this awesome school you're going to. How does that sound?"

"Good." He mumbled, giving a wavering smile. I grinned back, beginning to pick up his things. You know, you could probably put some of these books in your bag. It would be a lot easier to manage, then." I picked up one, reading the title. "Spells for the beginner. What is this? I spelling book?" I asked. That was really bad grammar if it was. I flipped through it, and to my surprise, was met with Latin.

"What is this?" I asked quietly, getting angry. This kid knew about the languages of power? Since when? Was this getting taught at a school? Humans that knew languages of power. Talk about dangerous!

"Um, It's nothing." The boy fretted, trying to steal it from me and at the same time, hide the rest of the books.

"Nothing. These are spells, kid. You know, magic? Why do you have them? Is this sort of stuff taught at your school?"

"Okay! Yes! It's a wizard school! I'm sorry!"

"A school. For wizards." I sighed in awe. Humans were crazy. "Explain."

"Okay, well, I'm not sure about a lot. I'm not even a first year yet."

"Tell me what you know." I said patiently. Well, if he knew about magic, I might as well use the Languages to carry this stuff. I told the wind to do it, and the things lifted in the air.

"Wahh! How did you do that?" The kid was in shock, waving his arms about wildly.

"The Languages, kid. Magic. Duh."

"But you didn't even use a wand! You just whistled, and Bam! It levitated, just like that! How did you do that?"

Crud. My kid of magic wasn't the same as his. This is what I got for just assuming things.

"I've just got a different kind of magic than humans do. So, you guys need wands?"

"Yeah, and spells! So, if I want to do that, I gotta wave my wand just so, and say the spell, which I don't really know yet." He looked enviously at the trunks, obviously jealous of my abilities.

"Maybe I'll teach you how to do this one day." I said, noncommittally. "Now, It's more convenient, so I'm gonna fly us to your school. You just point me in the general direction, Okay?"

"Yes, sir!" He did so, chattering on more and more about this school. I enjoyed listening to him talk. It was different than the trees or animals. He had aspirations, and complexity. Unlike the animals, he cared about knowledge and kindness. I was almost disappointed when we got to the school.

"Wow! We actually got here early! You are really fast, Mister!" I smiled.

"It's a good thing too. Let's find your room, and put your things in. I said, and looked around for a teacher.

"We don't get our room assignments until after the opening ceremony. Maybe we should just talk some more." He said hopefully.

"Sure kid. How about you tell me about your family?" I asked, and he told me excitedly about his mother and brother, but got oddly secretive about his sister and father. I didn't pry, and actually enjoyed the secrecy. Secrets were another thing that was purely human. Animals will tell you everything that comes to their mind. Humans are different, more secretive and untrusting. After nearly four hundred years, such an attitude was refreshing.

After a while, It was time for the ceremony to start. I walked in, saying in Latin, "None of you see me!" Just like that, I was invisible. I watched as the kid joined up with the rest of the first years, laughing and joking with them. I sat down patiently, as I watched the kids get sorted into their respective houses. The kid was a Gryffindor, and seemed to get along well with them, especially a young boy with some form of pox. When it was finally time to go to his room, I tagged along with his belongings.

"Sorry about the trouble." The boy said, as I set down the last of his things in his room "Thanks for helping me out."

"No problem." I answered dismissively, and walked out.

That instance started my new fascination with human beings. I began to live with them, getting a job, and even going to Oxford. I ended up with degrees in Anthropology and Psychology, and made a point to talk to as many people as I could. In fact, I became almost famous for my listening skills, and soon found my whole day being filled with people telling me about their lives. I couldn't be happier. Suddenly, I felt wanted, and even needed. Not to mention, I got to listen to interesting people all day long.

In addition to that, I started studying human magics, keeping an eye on everything they were doing, and everything they knew. They weren't too powerful, I noted with satisfaction. Nothing to worry about.

Another thing that changed was I became involved in giving favors. It was easy. One of the people talking to me wanted to become famous, say. So I see if they've got talent. If they don't, I'll suggest they do something else. If they do, I put a good word in with one of the major company presidents I know. The president gives them a job, and they feel indebted to me for their whole career. So then, say some kid wants nothing more than to meet that famous person. I call in a favor, and they are more than willing to meet him, and sign some autographs. Then that kid remembers how I did that awesome thing for him one time. So if that kid becomes a lawyer, he can support me in court, or one of the other people that I know that needs one. And if I know the jury, I can get out of all the trouble I want.

By the time 1996 rolled around, I knew most every successful person in seven different countries, and every person in show business. And all of them owed me some sort of favor. I was rich, and my house had a large pool I let the neighborhood kids use whenever they wanted.

Life was finally looking up.

That was, until a witch appeared at my door.

"My name is Minerva McGonagall." She said. "And you, sir, are the new headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."