Something To Tell You
As he was walking down the bustling hospital corridor in a world of his own, he deliberately slowed down, counting each heavy step. He could feel his heart tightening in his chest. What was he going to say to him? He hadn't really thought this through. He owed him the truth. The full story before someone else stuck their nose in and broadcast his news to the village. He hadn't wanted him to hear it second hand. Part of him wanted to prove he could look him in the eyes and say the words.
"Does Douglas know you're here?"
He looked awful, a mere shadow of his usual self. Ste struggled to form the words he knew he had to say, he just about managed to shake his head.
"No, but there is something I need to tell you. I wanted you to hear this from me. I'm engaged."
He looked up from the floor as he had mumbled the last part to his feet. That wasn't what he had been expecting. In truth he had no idea what he had been expecting, but 'congratulations' had not been it.
Unfortunately Brendan's eyes betrayed a lot more of what he was thinking. Something in Ste longed to reach out and touch him, to tell him he was sorry, that he wished things had been different between them, but he couldn't he had to hold it together. He was with Doug now and he knew that was the right decision. He would always have feelings for the man, now lying in the bed before him, he had been his first love, wrongly or rightly he had made him who he was and he would always be grateful for that, but he didn't love him anymore, not enough to jeopardise the life he could build with Doug.
Brendan finally spoke.
"You better go."
He felt the tears rising in his throat.
"Take care Brendan."
Ste managed to breathe.
"You too Steven. You too."
He whispered towards his retreating back, the regret evident in his every word.