Might slightly leans towards Izuo- but nothing definite, don't worry. Its just a lapse, a phase- will go back soon.


Shit- Shizuo thought, another bout of nausea seizing him. Was the effect really coursing through his veins that fast? He didn't want to think, but looking at the mirror and seeing the lifeless mocha orbs staring back to him did sicken his stomach. The pills he was taking was getting back to him- full force- half of his working memory did recall Shinra's concerned, raspy voice holing itself through his mind, back then. The instructions he didn't care to listen to.

The pills will boost your concentration, it will do you wonders- I've mixed a few stimulants in the doses. But you should be careful in consuming it- there can be aftereffects. And it can be dangerous. Its an untested drug, Shizuo.

What Shizuo did remember was snatching the pills from Shinra's hand, his eyes gleaming with determination and his voice growling out a voice not quite his. Almost like a beast's growl.

"I don't care. I'll do what it takes to destroy Izaya."

Shinra only let a small purse tug on his lips and says nothing. Because Shizuo had just slammed his fist to destroy his newly bought mahogany desk.

Shizuo had only thought it was fitting. Few sacrifices were required here and there, that's the rule for living, the rule he had come to terms with. It doesn't matter, the twisting pain that caused him almost to double over the ground, because Izaya will experience something worse than this.

The pain Izaya gave him was the one that lurks, the one that makes him feel numb and unable to feel- because when he tries to feel it, it soars like a wound and constricts his chest.

Being rejected was never a new experience for Shizuo- his monstrous power had their own drawbacks. Some people might even envies him for that, but they did not know, the sleepless nights Shizuo had spent worrying lest one day, he should hurt someone he loves. The power was like fire, burning and setting everything ablaze, uncontrollable in its glory. The power was the thing that made him a monster- and what makes it worse was the fact that he did care.

Shizuo himself was a great hypocrite, hating violence- yet, despicable as it is, it grows unto him like an ache of guilt, that whenever he threw someone or something, an undeniable rush of pleasure would made him feel alive, the pleasure that feels like one scratching their own wounds, pressing out the pus and feeling desolate joy at seeing flow out of the skin.

Collapsing against the door of the bathroom, his body crushing with an impact as another bout of pain seized him, he hissed aloud. The sweat was making him drenched, and his heart felt like it was thumping a few miles faster. Izaya was a bag of shit- he knew that so well, yet he can't help but being attracted to him, it was like hating your own shadow and loving it at the same time. Because its a part of you.

Disgusting as it is, he knew that he could relate with Izaya, powerful yet unloved, that no one could come too close to the both of them, and hated Izaya more- because Izaya had a chance, he didn't suffer from this monstrous body that would destroy anything that came too close, Izaya had a chance for warmth and bodily contact, while Shizuo wasn't allowed any of that. He'll break them, leaving bruises and feeling more desolate than before.

It somehow came to Shizuo coming up to the sink and puking all his insides again, before he decided he was doomed. But beggars couldn't be choosers.


Izaya looked up from his sleep as he heard the click that precedes Shizuo entering his room- Shizuo's room to be exact- his own dark hair messy and tousled and his face flushing from being stark naked. The guilty hand seems to rest on his crotch- yet Shizuo didn't seem to notice.

The blond seems to be pale and tired- and wondered how old Shizuo is, because it seemed as if he had aged a few days from when he had seen him.

Izaya immediately tried to snatch the few blankets to cover himself, and watched as Shizuo's eyes slipped back to consciousness- this time registering the presence- Izaya's presence. It was almost scary- not that Izaya would care to admit it, to not be seen, and yet to be seen.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya calls, his left hand procuring his jacket to cover his body. He raised from his bed and rose to walk closer to Shizuo.

Shizuo's eyes were still not there, they were somewhere else. And another second they focuses back- almost like the lenses of an iris, "Izaya.." He acknowledges.

Izaya slipped his fingers onto Shizuo's cheek, caressing it. He couldn't believe he was doing it, but he was, because it felt right. "Are you alright? You don't look so good."

Shizuo wanted so badly to ask, sneeringly- why do you even care- but swallowed it and managed a smile, a mere meaningless upward tug on his lips. "I'm just dizzy."

Then, against his own volition, Shizuo wobbles a bit and crushes both their body to the bed in a safe landing. He was panting- mildly. His lips was against Izaya's crook of neck. Izaya involuntarily wrapped his shoulders against Shizuo's neck, surprised at Shizuo's lack of balance. His fingers went through the blond mat of hair, the ones he used to kiss back then.

Shizuo shifted uncomfortably, mumbling sorry as he immediately rise from Izaya's body. Their skins had shifted against each other and created a friction, and the heat from Shizuo's body was real. So Izaya yanked him back with his head, and pushed Shizuo back to him.

He needs to confirm it.

And his worst fears were answered.

"Shizu-chan. You're having a fever."

Shizuo didn't answer him, he nuzzled to Izaya's neck, lips tearing to plant a kiss to feel Izaya's skin. Even his lips felt hotter than before.

"God." Izaya grunted. This is a sick man and another second, Shizuo was turning him on again. The man did deserve a prize for turning Izaya on so many times.

"You're a heavy log, you know that- Shizuo?" Izaya said to divert his attention from his bulging cock- instead of stroking his member, he was stroking Shizuo's hair.

"Your fault from being so warm, and soft and kissable." Shizuo retorts back- the pain on his head was searing again. He hugs Izaya and he knew it was false sense of comfort, Izaya did not love him- he never will, but he was too tired to reason with himself, and he thought that he could give this a chance for a night, some kind of a breather episode. And he was too tired to do anything to control himself.

Izaya pushed Shizuo's body softly- he holds one of Shizuo's hand and latched them together with his, his other hand unbuttoning Shizuo's shirt.

"Izaya kun." Shizuo looked at him, his expression a mixture curiosity and mock surprise- a sorry attempt to smirk was lost on his flushed cheeks. "Are you going to rape me?"

"I might." Izaya said- chuckling a bit, he would be lying if he doesn't think that a vulnerable Shizuo looked like a plush target, a second later, he would have his own self reminding himself again, that this is Shizuo- the man he hates. Lately, he seemed to need this kind of remindings more badly than ever. "But first I need to get that clothes off you, Shizu chan. You're burning, literally."

Shizuo's hand was trembling as he held Izaya's- Izaya seemed to notice it, he smirked. This was not part of his plans. He should not be the one who needs to look all vulnerable and helpless.

"Is it pity, Izaya?" Shizuo felt tempted to ask, and before he noticed it, the words came tumbling from his mouth.

Izaya looked at him for a while, "No. I'm just repaying you. I don't like to owe stuffs."

Some part in Izaya's mind had told him to just kill Shizuo- rob him or just leave him alone to die. Yet he knew it would make him feel miserable.

"You're hard, Izaya." Shizuo's eyes just have to looked at the glaring obviousness of Izaya's poor plight. He had to do something to return the control back to his hands. "Do you want me to lick you?"

"Shut up, Shizu-chan." Izaya's voice was venomous. Even though the desire gleams in those scarlet irises. At the last button of Shizuo's shirt, Izaya latched himself to Shizuo's chest and began to lick Shizuo's nipples- pink and ripe to take. Perhaps it was the rigid tension in the air, or the effect of the fever taking over- but Shizuo bit his tongue, though he wanted very badly to groan. As if in ascent to the increasing heat, his crotch seemed to swell in accordance.

"Iza-" Izaya kissed Shizuo's lips and dive through the inside of the crevices- the saliva colliding with each other- before Shizuo managed to protest, his other finger still entertaining Shizuo's taut nipples- causing Shizuo to finally moan. Izaya moaned in unison, as he straddle his hips against Shizuo's, should it really feel this good?

"You're- ah- an awful nurse- Izaya-" Shizuo said amidst the fierce kisses Izaya gave him. Suddenly- as if released from a stupor- his arms pulls Izaya to him, he can't help but exert a little power, as he shifted his positions, and in another second, he was fucking Izaya- hard. He was shoving his dick, against the wet buttocks and Izaya was moaning loudly, this was his victory. He managed to get Shizuo to fuck him.

He was cumming as soon as Shizuo enters him and both of them collapses to the bed in a haze of heat and sweat.

Izaya hugged Shizuo the whole night- a desperate attempt to keep the blond warm and comfortable. Unbeknownst to the sleeping Shizuo, Izaya was kissing his forehead while muttering, "Sorry, Shizu chan."