A/N: pure crackfic. since little red riding hood wasn't working out the way i wanted, i switched gears and did another fairy tale "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" -hides under blanket-


Once upon a time, there was a young woman named Korra. One day, she decided to go for a walk through the forest surrounding Republic City in order to work on her communication with nature. However, as she walked along, she became tired and hungry. Just as she thought she was going to starve to death (though in reality, she ate several dumplings two hours earlier), she found a rather nice home nestled in the trees. She marched up the stairs and knocked loudly on the door. Surely no one would turn away the Avatar!

However, no one answered the door and she knocked again, this time her hand going to fiddle with the door knob. The door opened and she stepped in, looking around the rather fancy home. She let out a low whistle, turning around and taking in all the decoration. She knocked into a vase and she tried to catch it, but it fell and shattered into many pieces. She kicked it under a rug, promising to clean up later. Her stomach rumbled and she patted it, promising, "We'll find you some food!"

She found the kitchen and sitting on the table were three bowls of noodles. She tasted the first bowl of noodles. "Too hot! Too hot!" She dropped the bowl on the floor in attempts to fan her tongue and cool it down. She tasted the second bowl and immediately spit it out. "Who eats their noodles cold?" She complained. Finally, she tasted the third bowl. "Just right!" She happily slurped them down, letting out a loud belch. Full, she felt sleepy and decided that a quick nap wouldn't hurt.

She walked around, going down a hallway where she saw three doors. She poked her head into the first door and spied a large bed. She crawled into the covers, but floundered as she sank into the mattress. "Too soft! Too soft!" She hauled herself out by grabbing the bed post and pulling herself from the sinking pit.

She went into the second room and flopped down onto the bed. She regretted it immediately, for the bed was stiff as a board. "Really? Who would want to sleep on this?" she muttered, glaring at the hard mattress.

Feeling a little frustrated, she stepped into the final room. She raised a brow at all the mirrors, but the bed looked good enough. She crawled into the bed and found it just the right amount of cozy. She pulled the covers over her head, eyes closing as she pushed her nose into the pillow, enjoying the scent of male shampoo and body wash. She drifted off to sleep with ease.

Meanwhile, the occupants of the house were walking up the front steps. "Geez Tahno, you said it was going to be a short trip to the salon." Ming complained, fumbling with his keys to unlock the door. However, it was already unlocked. Ming glared over at Shaozu. "Shaozu, why can you never remember to lock the door?"

"We were in a rush!" Shaozu defended. Tahno pushed them aside, his hair curler tucked protectively under his arm.

"Move it. I'm having a hair emergency." His curl was unusually limp and sometimes even perfect people needed some help. He flung the door open, marching across the rug. A crunch sounded underneath his foot and he looked down, an eyebrow arched. "What the hell?" He kicked the edge of the rug aside, his eyes widening at the sight of his precious vase laying in shambles. "My vase!" he screeched.

"My noodles!" Ming called out from the kitchen. Tahno and Shaozu rushed in to see Ming looking pathetically at his noodles, which were strewn all across the floor. "Someone's been eating my noodles!" Shaozu looked at his bowl, noticing that it looked less full than before.

"Someone's been eating my noodles too!" He pouted.

Tahno picked up his empty bowl. "At least you two have noodles left." He sulked. He turned to his teammates. "I think who ever came in our house is still here. I can feel it." He put his curler down and stalked out of the kitchen, checking out the sitting areas. He walked down the hallway, Ming and Shaozu close behind.

"Someone's been messing in my bed." Ming darted into his rooms, quickly arranging his covers back.

"Someone's been messing in my bed too!" Shaozu called out, glaring down at the evident pothole. Tahno peered into his room and spotted a lump underneath his covers.

"Someone's been messing in my bed, and they're still here." Probably some rabid fangirl. He glanced back at Ming and Shaozu. "I'll take care of this boys. You should probably go clean up the kitchen." he smirked, shutting his bedroom door in their faces. He loosened his shirt, fully intending on giving who ever was in his bed a nice wake up. He stripped down to his underwear and slid between the covers. His hand slid up a warm hip, pushing the shirt up a distinctly female body.

"Wake up." he purred, kissing at her neck and nibbling on her skin. She mumbled and swatted at him. Tahno continued, licking and kissing all the way up to the back of her ear. His hand moved around to her front and glided up her chest to cup a breast.

Tahno found himself picking himself up off the floor a few seconds later. Korra stood up in a defensive position, half asleep. Tahno rubbed his head. "Uh-vatar, what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here?" She demanded. Tahno stood up, straightening his underwear and putting his hands on his hips.

"I live here genius. Didn't you see the sign out front?" Korra blinked.

"Uh. No." Oops.

Tahno rolled his eyes before his gaze widened. "Did you break that vase?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. I accidentally bumped into it. Sorry." She rubbed the back of her neck.

"My mother gave me that vase." He flicked a piece of hair back. "Eh. It was ugly anyways." he pulled some pants on. "I don't appreciate you eating our food though."

"Oh come on, it was just noodles."

"You also messed with Ming and Shaozu's beds."

"I'll apologize to them."

"And you slammed me into a wall."

"You groped my boobs." She defended.

"Well, I can't help it if that's my natural instinct when there's a girl in my bed." He smirked, making her blush.

"Listen, I'm going to go." She started for the door, but he blocked her exit.

"I don't think so." Her body heated up under his gaze. "You still owe me an apology for breaking into my house, destroying my vase, eating my noodles, sleeping in my bed, and physically assaulting me." Korra sighed.

"What do you want?"

Tahno only grinned.


"See you around, uh-vatar." Tahno shut the front door before sauntering back into the kitchen, where Ming and Shaozu were busy cooking more noodles.

"What were you two doing in there?" Ming asked, having heard some strange noises coming from Tahno's room.

"Oh nothing. She was just apologizing in her own special way for causing so much trouble in the house. She'll be back here same time next week."

"Ooh, Tahno's getting busy with the Avatar." Shaozu wiggled his eyebrows. Tahno huffed.

"Puh-lease. You think she would have left willingly if I managed to get those pants off of her? No, she's coming back to do my hair, since the regular beauty products just aren't cutting it anymore. I think she should reconsider her job as the Avatar and go into hair styling." Tahno patted his curl lovingly.

"Of course." Both Ming and Shaozu rolled their eyes.

"That and she gives a damn good blow job."